Let’s talk about bachelorette parties, shall we?

Thirty years ago, they pretty much didn’t exist. Twenty years ago, they were fairly rare. Now they seem pretty common. Still, they aren’t for everyone.

I well remember a wedding where I was the MOH about twenty years ago. One day the bride called me in a bit of a panic because the other bridesmaid was talking about whisking her off and forcing her to drink fruit daiquiris and watch male strippers. This was profoundly not the bride’s cup of tea.

Luckily, I was able to talk the other bridesmaid down from that particular ledge, and the bride was saved. I threw her a nice, quiet, game-free shower with tea and desserts instead.
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For some, being asked to serve as a bridesmaid is both an honor and a burden. Time spent assembling complicated wedding invitations or funneling candy into favor boxes is one thing; money spent is quite another. I’d wager that most of you reading this would be happy to accompany a friend as she shops for her wedding gown or samples wedding cake. Would you be as pleased if you found out this same friend expected you to pay $600 for bridesmaid attire? Or if she made it clear that her idea of the perfect bachelorette party is a week in Cancun paid for by her attendants?

It’s not uncommon for bridesmaids or a maid-of-honor to accept a wedding party post without knowing what they’re getting into. That’s why there are books like Everything Bridesmaid: From Planning the Shower to Supporting the Bride, All You Need to Survive and Enjoy the Wedding and The Bridesmaid Handbook and The Bridesmaid Guide: Etiquette, Parties and Being Fabulous and even The Quintessential Wedding Guide … Maid of Honor.

In other words, while first-time maids and MOHs may not know quite what’s expected of them, there are plenty of how-tos out there ready to help. Get your dress on time, they say. Throw a bridal shower. Bustle the gown. Herd the groomsmen. Hold the bride’s bouquet. Give a speech. And so on.

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