Manolo for the Brides

This week as I was perusing one of my favorite blogs, I found a disturbing tale of a bride who had literally eaten almost nothing for the two weeks before her wedding. Why? Because her gown was tight, and she was afraid she wouldn’t fit in it if she ate properly.

One thing that I think all of us can agree on is that a two week period of starvation is not a good idea. It’s particularly not a good idea during a time of emotional stress and major life changes.

So how to avoid needing to take such drastic measures at the last minute? I thought you’d never ask me! Follow the bouncing cut to learn more.
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The other day my esteemed colleague wrote about some quite fetching veils she’d found and fallen head over heels for. The thing, though, that really caught my eye about the article was a comment by our own Kai Jones on an aspect I must admit I had never considered terribly carefully:

When I was looking for decorative options (while planning both my first wedding and my second) I would have really appreciated being able to see models with glasses wearing the veils, hats, etc. Glasses make a visual statement that affects the rest of the picture. Some frames would look ridiculous under some veils, and others would look great, but I have trouble visualizing how glasses at all on the face would affect the face veils.

That’s a great point, Kai Jones.

And so I set out to research the question of bespectacled brides. The disappointing part is that many of the boards, advice columns, etc. I found at first gave the same single piece of advice: don’t wear glasses on your wedding day.

Well phooey on that.
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Full disclosure: I used to smoke. In fact, at the height of smoking career, I could down a pack and a half in a day. Now I don’t smoke, and I have my reasons. The way I figure it, we all know smoking is bad for us, but we’re all grownups, so as long as you’re not smoking in my house or near my baby, your habit is your business.

That said, I’m going to assume that brides and grooms who smoke are going to want to have a few cigarettes before their wedding ceremonies and at their wedding receptions. It is, after all, a day where indulging oneself is part of the fun, so smokers will be smoking, whether the laws of the land permit indoor puffing or require it be done out of doors.

So what’s the problem? Well, I recently came across some wedding photographs that included a bride who is a fairly regular smoker. Either she or her wedding photographer was a fan of the traditional pre- and post-wedding poses, e.g. the bride getting ready in the mirror, the bouquet on the makeup table, and so on. One photo that caught my eye (and not in a good way) was a close-up of the bride’s hands, showcasing her engagement ring and wedding band… and her nicotine stained French manicure. Her pinky, index finger, and middle finger nails were a bright, traditional pink and white, while the polish on her pointer and thumb were a not-very-subtle yellow.

In 1945, Emily Post stated that “above all [the bride] must not, while wearing her veil, smoke a cigarette.” Bridal headpieces aside, I’d add that the bride who wants her wedding photographer to photograph her hands looking their wedding day best must not smoke after the application of a French manicure. They’ll be plenty of time to light up at the reception.

Photograph by Christopher Prinos

Have you considered doing your wedding makeup? I didn’t, but my cosmetics skills begin and end with a little mascara and a touch of lipstick. Not that a bride-to-be can’t learn the tricks of the makeup trade, of course, but finding a good makeup mentor isn’t always easy. Lucky for those who want to DIY their wedding cosmetics, Emily of the blog Beauty Broadcast has a YouTube channel featuring primers, how-tos, and product reviews for brides (and anyone else interested in learning a bit more about the artful painting of faces).

I will say that Emily slathers on the cosmetics a bit more thickly and darkly than I would — particularly for a bride — but the video is a good introduction to bridal makeup application. And admittedly, watching her transform herself is pretty fascinating. But if your bridal beauty style runs roughly parallel to Emily’s, here’s a rundown of the products mentioned in the video:

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When I announced my engagement, several people told me there are two things ‘every’ bride does: grow her hair long and go on a diet. Me? I did neither. I admit part of the reason I didn’t grow my hair out was…well…it was already as long as it goes, which is about hip length. That seemed like plenty of hair for my purposes, anyway.

Still, in reaction to comments like that, a tiny piece of me wanted to go out and get a buzz cut.

I didn’t, though I’ve had one before and rocked it pretty well, actually. But that gives you an idea of just how much it annoyed me to be informed that only long-haired women were welcome at the altar.

The attitude seems to carry on to this day, too. In a google image search for ’short-haired bride’ I found three measly pages of images. In one for ’short hair’ + ‘bride’ I got a lot more pages…and at least 90% of them were of long-haired brides. One image presented for my consideration was of Nicole Kidman’s wedding to Keith Urban, where his hair wasn’t exactly short, either. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against long hair on a man. In fact, Mr. Twistie’s hair has been considerably longer than mine numerous times. It’s just that wasn’t what I was looking for.

What I was looking for was images of brides rocking the short locks and looking fabulous – particularly if they did so while not adding hairpieces or making faux long styles. Well, I found a few. These I pass on as inspiration to brides who wear their hair short and don’t want to grow it out for the wedding.

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Nipples. We all have them (I think). Those who have the smaller, less functional sort are typically very interested in seeing the equipment of those who have the potentially nourishing kind. The latest nipple-related contact I’ve received in my inbox — does that sound bad? — is from Yournipplecovers.com, where brides-to-be can buy everything from disposable nipple covers to silicon nipple covers to “bra disks.”

Putting aside for the moment the fact that it looks like the headlights in the bottom row are covered in wadded up chewing gum and the fact that most of the nipple covers seem to come in a convenient flesh tone that is only convenient for a certain brand of caucasians, I have to ask: How big of a problem is this?

Is it a problem that warrants an entire web site selling multiple sizes and brands and types of nipple coverage to brides and non-brides alike? Is it a problem that warrants PR firms reaching out to wedding bloggers like me to let me know that there are new and improved forms of gumdrop shields out there on the market?

As for me, I think Nippies are the cuter option, but I’d probably just use band-aids.

For those brides-to-be who don’t care for veils or hats or elaborate updos but still want a little flair for their hair, there’s always hair jewelry. There are no wrongs or rights when it comes to wearing it so anything goes. Pin yours in front, in back, or to the side…wherever you want some sparkle.

Hardwired sells hair jewelry (which I love, of course) in two pretty incarnations — pins and curves. I personally prefer the curves because you can wear them no matter how long or short your locks are!

The superbly lovely Kate wrote to ask:

I’m a regular reader of your blog and was wondering if you could help me out. I’m getting married at the end of September and want to wear a cream-colored “flower” in my hair, to match my dress. Problem is, what I find is either something from the WIC that’s eighty bucks, or a shoddy-looking fake “silk” blossom that is 1.99 at the craft store. Can you help me find a pretty off-white fake flower for my hair, for less than forty dollars? My hairdresser says it doesn’t have to have a barrette – if it has a stem, she can weave it in.

I feel Kate’s pain, even though I when I was getting married it wasn’t flowers but rather hair gems I sought. Everything truly elegant was way out of my price range, and everything in my price range looked like it had come from a girls bracelet making kit from the Toys ‘R’ Us. Eventually, I let my hair stand on its own, which was more than fine because my stylist was truly a wizard.

Now, anyone looking for faux blooms should learn a little background and a little lingo before hitting the shops. Today’s silk flowers typically aren’t actually made of silk…except when they are, in which case they may cost you a pretty penny. The reason so many fakies look so awful is that they’re made of cheap polyester. Even worse, they are sometimes embellished with things like rhinestones and plastic water droplets.

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