I know this is a day late, but I wanted to wish my man Elton John and his new hubby David Furnish all the best. The pair have been beaus for 12 years! Of course, unlike The Beard and myself, they had a good reason for not tying the knot – it having been illegal and all.

Elton John’s wedding reception cost an estimated $1.75 million, and featured pink champagne and lamb for roughly 600 wedding guests inside two white tents erected at John’s Windsor mansion. Elton was dressed in a black silk suit with a long jacket, whilst David wore a black morning suit and sported a freshly-snipped hairdo.

Good luck, guys!

The rumors of the supposedly recent Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt nuptials have been greatly exaggerated. I repeat, put down your tabloids. Now, I’m not one to follow celebrity romance. In fact, for the most part, I just don’t have the stamina. I’m a busy woman and those Hollywood types get married and divorced faster than I can eat a quesadilla.

But at the same time, I am for some reason enraptured by the whole Pitt Jolie thing. Maybe it’s because they’re so dang pretty. During my work day, I check celebrity gossip blogs and news sites to see if those two crazy kids have tied the knot yet.

The answer, of course, is no they have not. But they have:

Traveled the world together
Moved in together
Done charity work together
And soon will be parents together

The world – and the paparazzi – are waiting. I’m extra curious to see whether, if they do intend to marry, they can hold a wedding with at least a modicum of privacy.

How could I not talk about one of the most famous brides in history: Diana, Princess of Wales. Her wedding was broadcast to an estimated global TV audience of 750 million. Brits had a national holiday to celebrate the coupling. The 20-year-old princess to be wore an Elizabeth Emmanuel designed, ivory taffeta and antique lace gown with a 25-foot train.

Now, Madame Tussauds of London, which displayed a copy of the dress after the wedding, is putting said copy up for auction. Apparently, there is a controversy brewing over whether Lady D. had the dress made as a space in case dress number 1 spontaneously combusted or was eaten by a royal hound. Some, like auctioneer Cooper Owen, say she tried on the copy on the morning of her wedding day.

Emanuel disputes this.

While the museum claims that the dress was a “spare” which Diana actually wore, Miss Emanuel insists the dress was only ever a copy made for public display and was never worn by Lady Diana Spencer.

A spokesman for the auction house, Cooper Owen, said the second dress was made in “case of any hiccup or disaster”.

However, Miss Emmanuel said: “Diana never tried the dress on, it was never a back-up dress. David and I were there, we didn’t let anybody else see the dress.

“Unless I am having a brain seizure, trying on a second dress was the last thing Diana would have done. She was so busy, we had to fit all our fittings around her schedule there was absolutely no way she could have tried on that dress. It was made particularly for Madame Tussauds.”

All that aside, I think this dress is a little…Martha Washington-y

I am just not feeling this dress, worn by blushing bride Princess Sayako, 37, the youngest child of Japanese Emperor Akihito and Empress Michiko. According to some sources, the dress was created by a designer that regularly works for the Japanese empress. S/he created the gown to mirror the dress worn by someone named Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro at the end of an anime film called Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro.

That’s weird enough, but in the photo it looks like she is getting married in a subway station. Kerazy!

In honor of the now entirely official divorce of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston and the entirely official marriage of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, I’d like to point you toward some advice that will help you avoid looking like the wrong kind of celebrity on your wedding day. You the ones I mean…the ones who set up more matrimonial pomp than the British monarchy. The ones that get married after knowing one another for four days or less. And the ones who stage elaborate weddings for their same-sex dogs.

Jenny Colgan has written up a list of 10 celebrity no-no’s at iVillage, including:

5. Don’t have a golden, Egyptian theme and get carried in on a table by gilded slaves, especially if you’re the size of Celine Dion’s husband, Rene.
6. Don’t ask a bunch of people you’ve just met to be your bridesmaids, dress them all in black, then spend the entire ceremony giving your new plastic-faced husband graphic tongue sandwiches, Liza.

If I were to write such a list, I would have to add that one should not get married to one’s waiter or waitress after a short period of engagement. Nor should one get married at 2:30 a.m. in an all-night wedding chapel in Vegas while falling down drunk. If you must tie the knot in the grand celebrity style, don’t have your prize purebred act as ring bearer if he’s a biter and don’t fail to invite your friends in favor of saturating your ceremony with picturesque A-listers. Don’t use your wedding as a soapbox to express your hardcore political views and for goodness sake don’t get married wearing a t-shirt covered in your beloved’s blood.

Finally, try not to get divorced an hour later. That’s just plain scary.

Manolo says, here you see the Rene Zellweger in the beautiful-if-perhaps- inappropriate- for-the-beach-wedding Carolina Herrera wedding gown with her new husband the Kenny Chesney.

The Manolo he is hoping that the hunky country doofus husband, he wore to the ceremony something the little more formal than the untucked white shirt and the grey pants.

Still, the Manolo he could not be happier for the loopy Rene Zellweger and her ersatz cowboy with the hat too big for his head. And, likewise he can only approve of the intimate, romantic nature of the ceremony and the way the Rene she managed to keep the loathesome papparazzi at the great distance.

May they long be happy.

Manolo says, now that the poor Prince Rainier is on the verge of leaving this life, we begin to see the pictures of his wedding to the late Grace Kelly appear in the press. This it is only natural, as the marriage it was the event that made him more famous than his position as the hereditary ruler of the minor principality would have ordinarly justified.

The Grace Kelly and the Prince Rainier they were married in April 19, 1956, in the traditional Catholic ceremony. As you can see, the Grace Kelly she was perhaps the most beautiful bride–wearing perhaps the most beautiful gown–to ever marry a prince.

For the Manolo it is actually, literally, stunning to see how beautiful she was in this photo. The Rainier, he is not the bad-looking man, just average with his little belly, receeding hairline, and jowls, but the juxtaposition with this ethereal beauty, it is not flattering to him.

This dress it was made for the Grace Kelly by the Helen Rose, the chief designer of the costumes for the MGM studios, the same woman who had designed the costumes for the Grace Kelly’s last movie, the High Society.

As the website of the British Film Institute says,

So enchanted was Kelly with the wedding dress Helen Rose designed for her in High Society that she asked Rose to design the dress for her wedding to the Prince. Helen Rose designed a gown which was fashioned out of 98 yards of tulle, 25 yards of silk taffeta and an incredible 300 yards of lace. Kelly’s veil was covered in a web of thousands of seed pearls with a motif of lovebirds appliquéd in lace. As Kelly’s seven-year contract with MGM had yet to be completed, she negotiated her release by allowing her wedding to be filmed and shown in movie theatres. MGM gave Kelly the dress, which is now on display in the Philadelphia Museum of Art.

Manolo says, it is indeed one of the greatest wedding gowns of all time, beautiful, opulent, and yet supremely tasteful.

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