Manolo for the Brides

Chances are that every wedding you’ve been to has included some sort of bridal party. Bridesmaids, groomsmen, a flower girl and/or ring bearer…these are common. In fact, I would bet good money that at least a hefty percentage of our readers have been in weddings where they were not the ones getting married. For my part, I’ve been a bridesmaid twice, maid of honor once, and once I got grabbed at the last minute to attend the bride at a spur-of-the-moment vow reaffirmation.

But now that you’re getting married, you need to decide whom to ask to attend you and in what capacity. That’s where things can get tricky. You may not really know what jobs there are, what sort of person is best suited to said job, or even whether you want these roles filled at all. The fact is that while you will need witnesses for legal purposes (anywhere from one to three people, depending on state law if you’re in the US), those people are not required to hold particular titles or wear matching clothes…but most of us do have those witnesses or other close friends and family members stand by our sides.

Fear not! Here’s a brief rundown of bridal attendants, common and un, in a typical western-style wedding. Read on to get a better idea of what your options are and how to best meet your needs in putting together a bridal party.

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Let me preface this post by saying I love Lynn Lugo bridesmaid dresses — the colors are gorgeous, there are silhouettes for a variety of body types, and the fabrics are lovely. That said, I’ve never hidden my disdain for the butt bow, an accessory that adds bulk precisely where most bridesmaids would like to avoid adding bulk. It now appears that the giant butt bows that became giant boob bows late last year have moved yet again.

Enter the giant gut bow, an embellishment that does what the butt bow does, except in the tummy area.

I know that when I think of the perfect attendant’s dress, I envision something that will draw attention to the curve of my stomach. Wait, no, that’s not quite right… My bad! I meant to say that I like dresses that make my stomach look as flat as possible, even now at four months of pregnancy. Big ol’ bows that compel people to stare fixedly at your bridesmaids’ bellies? Why would you want to do such a thing?

Is it just me, or is a strapless dress just a teensy-weensy bit inappropriate for an older flower girl or younger junior bridesmaid. I’ll admit that I’m shite at guessing people’s ages, but the girl wearing this frock just seems a bit underdeveloped for this particular look.

If you’re wondering, this is one of the Jasmine dresses from Kirstie Kelly for Disney Fairy Tale Weddings. The site describes it thusly: Floor length, strapless A-line gown. Pleated bust with embroidered beaded trim on empire line.

That’s all well and good, Kirstie Kelly, but there’s just one problem. There is no bust there! When you put ruffles like that on a grown-up gown, the ruffles create a sort of shelf for whatever bosoms happen to be extant. Grown-up gals know about things like double-sided tape and Nippies. Little gals know a whole lot of nothing about that sort of thing.

So tell me Kirstie Kelly…What happens if the poor girl in the picture bends over? Sure those ruffles look stiff in the photo above, but they look a lot less like the unencroachable barrier they ought to be in the picture below.