Let me preface this post by saying I love Lynn Lugo bridesmaid dresses — the colors are gorgeous, there are silhouettes for a variety of body types, and the fabrics are lovely. That said, I’ve never hidden my disdain for the butt bow, an accessory that adds bulk precisely where most bridesmaids would like to avoid adding bulk. It now appears that the giant butt bows that became giant boob bows late last year have moved yet again.

Enter the giant gut bow, an embellishment that does what the butt bow does, except in the tummy area.

I know that when I think of the perfect attendant’s dress, I envision something that will draw attention to the curve of my stomach. Wait, no, that’s not quite right… My bad! I meant to say that I like dresses that make my stomach look as flat as possible, even now at four months of pregnancy. Big ol’ bows that compel people to stare fixedly at your bridesmaids’ bellies? Why would you want to do such a thing?

Is it just me, or is a strapless dress just a teensy-weensy bit inappropriate for an older flower girl or younger junior bridesmaid. I’ll admit that I’m shite at guessing people’s ages, but the girl wearing this frock just seems a bit underdeveloped for this particular look.

If you’re wondering, this is one of the Jasmine dresses from Kirstie Kelly for Disney Fairy Tale Weddings. The site describes it thusly: Floor length, strapless A-line gown. Pleated bust with embroidered beaded trim on empire line.

That’s all well and good, Kirstie Kelly, but there’s just one problem. There is no bust there! When you put ruffles like that on a grown-up gown, the ruffles create a sort of shelf for whatever bosoms happen to be extant. Grown-up gals know about things like double-sided tape and Nippies. Little gals know a whole lot of nothing about that sort of thing.

So tell me Kirstie Kelly…What happens if the poor girl in the picture bends over? Sure those ruffles look stiff in the photo above, but they look a lot less like the unencroachable barrier they ought to be in the picture below.