OMG bridesmaids week!
Solids still rule the school when it comes to bridesmaids dresses, but I know there are plenty of bridesmaids out there who look their best in patterns. In fact, I know at least a few gals – can’t speak for the guys – who feel like they’re presenting as a wall of color when they wear, say, all green or all pink. Let’s for a moment, bridesmaids, imagine that you’re one of them. Are you dreading having to wear something that someone with entirely different ideas about what looks good has picked out on your behalf? It is indeed a fearsome prospect.
You’re secretly dreaming of something like this:
Or like this:
But you suspect that the bride is dreaming of something a lot more like this. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!) The question, of course, is what do you do? It’s easy to say, oh, wear whatever you’re told to wear unless the bride specifically asks for your input. But as it turns out, there’s a whole secret world of maids-of-honor and bridesmaids collaborating and gently steering the bride toward dress choices that will flatter, if not everyone, more than a few of the female attendants.
How’s that work, you ask? Whether you’re a patterns-over-solids kind of chick or an I-don’t-do-backless kind of chick or something else, you can take a few steps to try to influence the bride’s choices. I’m not saying anything you and your sister ‘maids do will work – especially if the bride happens to adore huge bows and pouf sleeves – but you could try:
- Getting together with the other bridesmaids or at least those with a strong opinion. Figure out what you like and don’t like. Maybe no strapless, no backless, no scratchy poly stuff, no gold, whatever. Make sure you’re all on the same page or at least close to it, and then approach the bride with your concerns.
- Going dress shopping with the bride and gush over the dresses you like. If you can’t do that, email her links to lots of suggestions that just happen to reflect both her color choices and your preferences with regard to silhouette, style, and yes, patterns. There’s no guarantee she’ll choose a dress you like, but you def increase your chances of being happy with her choices.
- Suggesting something close to what the bride wants if you truly cannot stand what she’s chosen. You might say “I love love loooove the color and the cut overall is fab, but do you think you could go for something with sleeves/a contrasting sash/a lower hemline/etc.” You come off as supportive of her preferences instead of bossy or pushy.
- Really selling the whole bridesmaids choose their own dresses thing. It’s not, as I mentioned, the most popular choice, but considering that bridesmaids come in all shapes and sizes, I think it’s a good one.
- Displaying some serious enthusiasm whenever the bride happens to show you a potential bridesmaids’ dress that doesn’t make your eyes bleed. Lay on the praise thickly and the bride will get the gist of what you’re trying to say. Whether she wants to give you the dress you want as opposed to the dress she wants… I guess you’ll find out.
Note that I am NOT suggesting that any bridesmaid try to subvert the bride’s choices when she has something she truly loves in mind or that any bridesmaid make a nuisance of herself by rejecting every dress the bride suggests. But I don’t necessarily think that bridesmaids should absolutely never voice their opinions. What do you think?