Finish this sentence:

Money….
A) is the root of all evil
B) makes the world go around
C) makes my head spin like the girl in The Exorcist
D) changes everything

Chances are if you’re in the throes of planning a wedding budget – or trying to stick to one – you’re rapidly learning it doesn’t go as far as you’d like it to. With the national wedding budget average hovering in the neighborhood of twenty grand, and some regions (New York and San Francisco, I’m looking at you) breaking into hysterical laughter at the concept that someone could ever throw a wedding on such a paltry sum, it’s easy to assume that you’ll need a sudden lottery jackpot win, or at least a hefty personal loan, to get you to the alter in reasonable financial shape.

Look, I’m not going to sugar coat this. If you don’t have a lot of cash, then it’s a lot harder to put on a significant wedding bash. Everything from clothes to party decorations to food to facility rental costs money. Some of these things may seem to cost more than they’re worth. But there are ways to help you have the wedding of your dreams without winding up in huge amounts of debt. And I’m going to share five of these tips right now.
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When it comes to your wedding, it’s easy to get a little carried away. So many things are expected, so many of us have dreamed about pretty things, so many businesses are lining up eagerly to sell us pretty things we had never even considered. And what’s the one thing each of those pretty things has in common? They cost money.

No matter how carefully we budget in advance, it can be easy to add a few dollars here, and indulge a little there until we suddenly discover that we will spend our first married year eating our choice of rice or beans every day, because we can’t even afford both at the same time.

But with a little extra care, we can avoid overspending. Here are a few ideas on how to keep the budget from blowing out of proportion.
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Weddings are expensive, amirite?

Most wedding vendors post package prices on their web sites – and if not, a photographer or caterer or florist will usually have a brochure listing a sort of menu of various packages and options. And it’s easy to balk at those rates when you’re newly-engaged. I’ve been asked a few times by brides-to-be whether it’s okay to haggle with wedding vendors, i.e., say something like “Are you willing to give me Package B for $1500 instead of $2000? How about $1800?” My answer? I don’t think so. As much as I like to talk about the “wedding tax” and how overpriced so many wedding accessories are, I also like to think that most wedding vendors are good, honest people and thus price their services accordingly.

A wedding vendor is not a weekend flea market hobbyist or a homeowner hosting a garage sale, and the payment they receive for the services they provide to brides and grooms are often their sole source of income. Maybe it’s just that I’m a freelancer, but the idea of treating a specialty service like a secondhand stairmaster seems a little weird to me. So no, I would not recommend haggling with wedding vendors.

What you can do is negotiate based on your needs. Let’s say the aforementioned Package B is for wedding flowers and you think $2000 seems a little steep BUT you love the florist’s work. AND you don’t actually need or even really want every last little thing in Package B. There’s nothing at all wrong with approaching the wedding florist you’ve fallen in love with and telling her that Package B makes the most sense for you, but you only need five centerpieces, not eight, and you’re having bridesmen not bridesmaids so you won’t need any bridesmaids’ bouquets. I don’t think I’ve ever personally encountered a wedding vendor who was unwilling to make adjustments to prices when making adjustments to packages.

In other words, negotiating with wedding vendors is usually as easy as asking to order “off the menu” and there’s nothing wrong with simply inquiring as to whether a vendor is willing to lower their package prices when you’re not asking for everything in that particular package. (And you should never feel obligated to take everything in a package when you don’t want it!) That way, you and your wedding vendors can work together to create something that’s exactly what you need at a price that you can both live with.

What do you think of negotiating with wedding vendors? How about haggling – would you do it?

Ever notice that there’s a lot of negativity in the wedding world? I feel like once upon a time – maybe before my time – you could have a wedding, and if you said your vows, fed people, had some music, cut the cake, and the newlyweds behaved graciously, people wouldn’t worry too too much about the specifics. But now, oh, now! It’s getting to be that the poor brides posting on message boards are so afraid to offend anyone with their choices that they’re too terrified to actually make any! And that’s on top of brides fearing that someone will judge their weddings not swanky enough, tacky, or whatever.

No matter where you turn, someone is making fun of something that somewhere, a bride-to-be is probably thinking of doing. And since we’re all doing everything on the Internet, there’s a pretty good chance that said bride-to-be will encounter someone putting her ideas down. In an article on Brides.com, April Winchell (of Regretsy fame) outlines a few “‘Money-saving’ Ideas That Will Cost You Your Dignity”, and I have to admit the piece made me rather sad. Here’s a sample of the aforementioned ideas that are apparently dignity drains.

“Toast with white wine instead of Champagne: Champagne can get expensive, and not everyone likes the carbonation.”

I’m sure lots of people will strenuously object to toasting your marriage with Champagne. “How was the wedding?” “It was okay, except for the carbonation. That was a downer.”

You know, some people don’t like dressing up, either. Maybe you should ask everyone to come in sweatpants, and you can all eat pizza over the sink.

“…do away with alcohol altogether and have a coffee bar! Guests can get cappuccinos, espressos, or even decaf.”

Sheet cake and decaf! It’s like Saturday night at the nursing home, only not as fun.

And now that you’ve ruined dinner, how about saving the planet?

Okay, okay, I know the article was more than a little tongue-in-cheek and Winchell even says outright that not everyone approaches saving money in the same way…”My reasonable expense might be your ridiculous extravagance. Your sensible cost-cutter might give me a headache from rolling my eyes.” But really, I have to go with hate on this one. I don’t hate the article, of course. It makes some great points about prioritizing and not trying to overdo the budget wedding substitutions. What I hate is the mean-spirited attitude behind it, which seems to be so pervasive in the world of weddings.

You don’t have a tiered cake? That’s not wedding cake! You’re not serving alcohol? Guess your dry reception will suck. You’re walking down the aisle to what now? Don’t you respect tradition? Your father isn’t giving you away? You’re doomed to divorce! You hear these things everywhere, from brides-to-be, former brides, and people in no way associated with any current weddings, but by gum, they’re going to weigh in.

My guess is that none of you lovely people reading this is going to say you love nasty bridal snarking. But does this get your goat, too? Or am I being too sensitive?

Gorgeous image via The Sweetest Occasion

When bridal budgets are brought up, every vendor can tell you precisely why their service is the single one that should never be considered for slashing. Caterers, bakers, dressmakers, photographers, gown salons, beauty salons, tanning salons, hairdressers, musicians, florists, limo rental companies, jewelers, linen rentals, favor manufacturers… every single one can tell you why failure to pay top dollar for their service will ruin your wedding.

Chances are you agree utterly with at least one of these service providers. You may even agree with most of them.

But the cold, hard fact is that chances are you can’t pay for every single one of them. That’s where priorities come in. And I’m curious as to what your individual priorities are.

So what are you utterly ignoring? What are you cutting out? Have you decided get a $50 eBay dress? Are you saving money by putting all the music on your iPod and borrowing speakers? Nixing champagne from the reception? Cutting the invitation list to the bone? Showing up to the ceremony in your own compact car? Serving homemade chocolate chip cookies instead of a four-tier, fondant-covered cake?

I want to know what real world brides in 2010 are doing to save a bit of cash. What are your economies?

Look, it’s no secret that weddings can cost a bundle. With the average wedding hovering in the $20,000 range, that’s pretty much yesterday’s news.

We also talk a lot on this blog about how to bring your wedding costs under control through careful planning and being open to creative alternatives. After all, we don’t want you to go broke and we do want you to get the most bang for your buck.

But one thing we don’t often discuss is all the hidden fees that can blow your budget if you don’t realize they’re looming on the horizon. What fees? These fees.
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Wedding reality shows, that is.

Last night I was watching an episode of Battle of the Wedding Designers over on TLC. For those of you lucky enough to be unfamiliar, this is a show where a couple gives an idea of how much money they have, how many guests they expect, and their general preferences for a wedding. Three wedding planners are then given said budget, size, and taste restraints. Each planner comes up with a plan for how to spend that money and presents said plan to the couple. The couple then pick one planner’s dream and hand over the bucks. The audience gets to see how it all turns out.

Fair enough.

Last night’s couple, Xenia and Ezra, had a serious budget crunch. Xenia lost her job right after Ezra proposed and hasn’t been able to find another yet. They’d managed to scrape up $5,000 and hoped to have a tropical themed wedding with 75 guests.

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