For me, one of the most enjoyable aspects of wedding planning was deciding on food. I love to eat, I love to cook, I love to feed people. Mr. Twistie and I were bound and determined that nobody but nobody was going home hungry from our reception.

On the other hand, when one of my cousins got married, my aunt was convinced one single, solitary salmon was going to feed all two hundred people coming to the wedding. If my grandmother and great aunt hadn’t stepped in bringing a brigade of church ladies with them, goodness alone knows how many would have starved that fateful day.

I feel very sure nobody here wants to host a reception that peters out due to famished guests making a run for the nearest fast food option. I feel equally sure nobody here wants to offer up something that half their guest list can’t eat. And of course due consideration must be paid to budget concerns, family or ethnic traditions, your own food morals, and availability of ingredients.

Sound complex? Don’t panic. This is mostly a matter of common sense intersecting with taste and a touch of consideration for your guests. You do this every time you invite someone over for dinner. This is just putting the same principles to work on a larger scale.

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So you’re leaning toward wedding desserts over wedding cake or you’ve decided that edible wedding favors are right for you and yours. If you want to lose the cake, but not the colors — you have to admit that wedding cakes are growing ever more gorgeous — custom cookies can be a pretty and unique alternative dessert or favor.

These tasty examples come from Better Batch Bakers, a cookie company in MA that ships its sweets via postal mail. The bakers and cookie designers at BBB will work with you to extend your wedding theme (or color scheme) into your dessert or wedding favors. Sure, they’re a little pricey at $3.25 per 2.5″ cookie, but that’s no more expensive than most other wedding favors or wedding cake serving prices out there.

For many years, cakes have ruled wedding receptions. One of the first questions people ask about weddings is what the cake either looked or tasted like.

Over the course of the past few years, though, the cake has started losing its place at the party. Oh, it’s not like they’re going away anytime soon. I expect them to continue to be the most popular dessert at weddings for a very long time to come. It’s just that now more people are more open to variations on the theme.

One popular variation that’s sprung up of late is the dessert bar. With this option, the couple may or may not have a traditional cake, but they will offer multiple options in sweet ways to end a meal.

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In the past week, I’ve seen a new trend talked up on two different wedding reality shows. On both Rich Bride, Poor Bride and Whose Wedding is it, Anyway? couples have been advised to get and have chosen to hire living tables.

What’s a living (or strolling) table? Well, it’s a person who dresses up in a costume and stands inside a hole in a table on casters decorated to match the costume. The table is then set with a selection of hors d’oeuvres, or desserts that guests can help themselves to as the table wanders through your reception or party.

Here’s what it looks like:

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One of the thornier issues that comes up when planning a wedding is the menu. No matter what you do, someone is going to be unhappy with what you choose to serve. This only becomes more true if you are planning not to serve either or both of two popular items: alcohol and meat.

For some reason, there are a great many people who cannot wrap their heads around the concept that meat is not necessary in every meal or that it’s possible to have a good time without an alcoholic drink. The fact is it’s perfectly possible to have not only a delicious but a completely satisfying meal sans meat and it’s more than possible to have a blast without a glass of bubbly.

Chances are, though, that at least one or two people on your guest list would be skeptical of my claims in this regard.

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When you head to either your friendly neighborhood caterer, your own cookbook shelf, or your favorite group of church ladies to work out your wedding reception menu, a great many concerns will affect your final choices: price, personal taste, known food issues among your nearest and dearest (allergies, moral or religious dietary restrictions, cousin Wendy’s legendary phobia of Brussels sprouts), cultural expectations, etc.

But there’s one thing that most likely won’t even enter your thoughts: availability.

We’re spoiled for choice today. If strawberries aren’t in season, we can get them from another hemisphere or an agricultural concern that creates the correct circumstances for strawberries to grow all year round. If we want lemongrass, it doesn’t have to grow nearby. Freezing techniques allow us to have duck, venison, or lamb whatever the time of year. Corn on the cob in December? Not a problem.

Back through the mists of time, though, what you ate depended far more heavily on where you were and what time of year it happened to be. If you wanted oysters but lived inland, you might well be out of luck. If the only fruit trees in the local orchards were apple and peach, then good luck coming up with oranges. Oh, and if you wanted a cake, it took much stronger arms to whisk the ingredients since you wouldn’t have a nice stand mixer to whip the butter and eggs for you. Excuse me for a moment while I go pet my KitchenAid.

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The wedding, or formal official breakfast, is a stereotyped affair, cast in the moulds of the confectioner and restaurateur. It is little else than the fashionable ball supper, lighted up by day instead of gas light, and is composed, like it, of stewed oysters, galantines, mayonnaise of fowl, cold game, ices, pyramids, and all the knickknackeries of confectionery.

from: “The Bazar Book of Decorum.
The care of the Person, Manners, Etiquette, and Ceremonials.” 1873

These days I expect that few of us will be serving stewed oysters, mayonnaise of fowl or large amounts of cold game, but it’s still necessary to feed your wedding guests something. It may be as simple as cake and punch or it may be an entire roast pig. More likely, you’ll want to choose something in between these extremes.

You may have guests with particular dietary needs. Maybe your Uncle Frank is diabetic, and little cousin Sally is violently allergic to peanuts and citrus. Your college roommate may be vegan while the Best Man considers no meal complete without steak. Then there’s your brother’s hatred of all things seafood and your bridesmaid’s boyfriend who has taken a strong stance against any food that is orange in color. Don’t laugh. While the names and relations have been changed to protect my sanity, I’ve known people with every one of these problems or attitudes, and most of them were at my wedding.<>How to pick a meal that will please your guests without breaking the budget? Here are a few thoughts.

Be clear with your caterer about how much you have to spend. A good caterer is used to working with brides who have very little to spend as well as those who aren’t the least strapped for cash. In fact, your caterer may have some very creative ideas for feeding people on a budget. Good communication will help you come up with a workable plan.

Accept that someone won’t be happy. If you’ve got an extended family of extremely picky eaters, you won’t please them all. You can, however, provide food that will satisfy most of your guest list. That’s good enough.

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