The wedding, or formal official breakfast, is a stereotyped affair, cast in the moulds of the confectioner and restaurateur. It is little else than the fashionable ball supper, lighted up by day instead of gas light, and is composed, like it, of stewed oysters, galantines, mayonnaise of fowl, cold game, ices, pyramids, and all the knickknackeries of confectionery.

from: “The Bazar Book of Decorum.
The care of the Person, Manners, Etiquette, and Ceremonials.” 1873

These days I expect that few of us will be serving stewed oysters, mayonnaise of fowl or large amounts of cold game, but it’s still necessary to feed your wedding guests something. It may be as simple as cake and punch or it may be an entire roast pig. More likely, you’ll want to choose something in between these extremes.

You may have guests with particular dietary needs. Maybe your Uncle Frank is diabetic, and little cousin Sally is violently allergic to peanuts and citrus. Your college roommate may be vegan while the Best Man considers no meal complete without steak. Then there’s your brother’s hatred of all things seafood and your bridesmaid’s boyfriend who has taken a strong stance against any food that is orange in color. Don’t laugh. While the names and relations have been changed to protect my sanity, I’ve known people with every one of these problems or attitudes, and most of them were at my wedding.<>How to pick a meal that will please your guests without breaking the budget? Here are a few thoughts.

Be clear with your caterer about how much you have to spend. A good caterer is used to working with brides who have very little to spend as well as those who aren’t the least strapped for cash. In fact, your caterer may have some very creative ideas for feeding people on a budget. Good communication will help you come up with a workable plan.

Accept that someone won’t be happy. If you’ve got an extended family of extremely picky eaters, you won’t please them all. You can, however, provide food that will satisfy most of your guest list. That’s good enough.

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First off, I want to say congrats to Rebecca and her fabulous Bianchi gown. Wait, I mean congrats to Rebecca and Josh, of course! But the dress was her mother’s, passed down from her oldest sister who wore it first in 1964. Is that not the best? I love well-done vintage.

If you’re a bride with a question (and what bride doesn’t have at least one or two), head over to Top Wedding Questions. This message board site delivers not only the questions, but also the answers, as put forth by expert moderators. When you posit your query, you can be sure you’re not going to get a double-handful of regular folks weighing in. If you just want to chat, however, head over to Beautiful Brides & Beyond, a truly fabulous nuptial forum.

And finally, be careful…very careful…when planning your reception menu. From the Manolo comes a news story about a suitcase full of monkey meat that found itself on the wrong side of the law.

A large suitcase containing the remains of 26 butchered monkeys was confiscated at Logan Airport in Boston on its way from Ghana. The 300 pounds of raw meat, destined to be served as the main course at a wedding in New Hampshire, was “oozing out of its container,” said Tom Healy of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.

Um, ew?

The fabulous Sara shared a most ingenious littel tip regarding vendors with me recently. I can’t remember now whether she used this tip while planning her own wedding or only thought about it after the fact. Either way, it’s a real gem.

She recommends that brides-to-be program their vendor telephone numbers into their cell phones by category rather than vendor name or company name. That way, when the pressure is on and they need to consult their florist, DJ, caterer, or cake artisan, all they have to do is scroll through their contacts until they hit upon the appropriate keyword. Want even easier access? Program your vendor numbers into your cell phone’s voice dialing system! That way, you can just shout “TENT!” when you realize that your contract says you’ve reserved at 40-person tent for a 200-person wedding.

But why not take it one step further? Make sure you can reach your vendors with nary more than a mouse click by adding their info to your e-mail address book by category. Because, hey, what’s easier to remember? The simple keyword ‘florist’? Or MaryJsBloom.O.Rama@yahoo.com?

I have no illusions about my eventual wedding. I may have mentioned this before, but I’ll say it again: I have six younger siblings. My father is a good provider for his family, but he cannot afford to be oppulent. I don’t have any savings that aren’t dedicated to my eventual retirement. So, I know that when I get married it’s going to be a relatively simple affair. Neither my family nor I can afford to drop a thousand dollars or more on a dress, much less anything else.

So, for my own future reference and possibly yours, I will now present a list of things any bride can do to create a frugal yet fabulous wedding.

Get high tech. Spend the forty bucks to splurge on wedding planning software like Smart Wedding 4.0 that keeps track of things like spending, guests, seating, appointments, vendors, and gifts. It’s like having your very own wedding planner…except this one won’t push you into buying nasty little packets of stale Jordan Almonds.

Go to the library. Or better yet, to one of those bookstores that have a little cafe and will let you read books like Denise and Alan Fields’ Bridal Bargains: Secrets to Throwing a Fantastic Wedding on a Realistic Budget while drinking a latte.

Be confident in your ability to find the perfect dress for less. Don’t feel you have to settle for retail prices. Surf the Internet classfieds, check EBAY, visit sample sales, consider checking your local Salvation Army or Goodwill outlet, and look for knockoffs. Sometimes having an original dress handmade by a tailor can be less expensive than buying it off the rack. Making your own dress with help from books like Susan E. Andriks’ Bridal Gowns: How to Make the Wedding Dress of Your Dreams is also an option.

Instead of booking an expensive hall, consider letting mother nature host your wedding. She has wonderful taste in colors!

Finally, use any resource you can. Plenty of Web sites, such as Brilliant Wedding Pages, have oddles of money-saving tips and tricks that will help you choose favors that are so fantastic, a dress that is so divine, and a setting that is so sublime that no one will ever know you’re a budget queen.

Now, if only there was a cost effective way to inspire The Beard to go ring shopping…

Being that I am a Boston girl, I couldn’t help noticing that the 7th annual Baystate Bridal Expo, the largest two-day Boston bridal show, will be coming to the Bayside Expo Center in January. According to a press release, the show will…

sparkle with glamorous gowns, elegant formal wear, door prizes, fashion shows, live music and entertainment, DJs, photographers, videographers, limousine services, ice-sculpting demonstrations, breathtaking floral designs, wedding ideas from participating sponsor, Stop and Shop and food samples from Boston’s top caterers, bakeries, and banquet facilities. Brides-to-be can plan their entire wedding in just one weekend, it’s one stop shopping and planning with many of the best wedding professionals in the area.

But is it worth it? Apparently, these shows have been around for decades and can be a great resource for the future bride (and perhaps groom) who goes into it with the right attitude and as an idea seeker. Expos are filled with folks whose main goals involve getting your money. According to the expo tips on BrideandGroom.us, it’s best to wear comfy shoes and clothes, bring a friend or relative, and fill out as many contest entry forms as humanly possible. Also, future brides and grooms should bring pens and notebooks because the fashion shows and cake displays can all be great sources of ideas.

As to how to find one in your area, they recommend you:

Check out websites, wedding publications and bridal shops to see where shows are in your area. If you’ve registered your name anywhere as a bride-to-be, you will more than likely receive information about bridal shows in your mailbox or e-mail.

Just be prepared for the resultant spam.