Manolo for the Brides

You know what is truly fantastic? Ill tell you: When I come across a designer’s web page that doesn’t use all manner of Flash, so I can actually pull some images without having to resort to PrtScn–>Paint–>The Gimp. Jesus Peiro, I thank you for your use of plain old jpegs!

Damn, that is just gorgeous — perfect for those looking for a little shoulder and décolletage coverage. I usually like a little more flare in the hips, but if you’ve got kind of a flat tummy (or some super foundation garments) why ruin a good straight line? I think the classic simplicity is what I love best.

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I’m a huge fan of stepping away from the bridal salons when it comes time to choose dresses for your bridesmaids. For one thing, your gals can take all of the money they would have spent on “something they could wear again but won’t” and spend it on a dress that doesn’t scream bridesmaid. Of course, hitting up Bluefly instead of Eden Bridals is no guarantee that you’ll find something great.

Remember the bubble boob bow number I wrote about a few months back? As it turns out, that frock did not represent an isolated case of boobowocity. While trolling for potential bridesmaids’ dresses I came across more boob bows, which I have arranged here from the most minuscule to the most tuggable.

But why stop there? If you really want to drive home the point — Bows! You love ‘em! You’ve got ‘em! BOWS BOWS BOWS! — you can gift your gals with one of these Franchi clutches to thank them for dutifully encasing their bosoms in gigantic bows without complaint.

I wore a rather heavy gown during my stint as a bride and I was comfortable outdoors on a May day in Florida. I do admit that it was an extremely blustery Saturday, which kept things just cool enough for comfort. I could have gone with something lighter and airier, but I just love heavy, full, princessy gowns and there were plenty out there to be had.

When I was shopping for the perfect dress, I found myself faced with a great many extremes. There were the heavy, multi-layered formal frocks guaranteed to keep your legs warm even if your upper body is freezing. And there were the sexy, slinky sheaths that would have highlighted my “lady lumps” in the worst possible way. What was lacking was that “something in between” that would be princessy enough to tickle my particular fancy yet light enough to be wearable in a variety of weather conditions.

That’s why I’m in love with Chris Kole’s collection, The Cotton Bride. No, the gowns are not all cotton — in fact, most are linen, and some are silk — but they are all natural, hand-sewn, made to order, and designed to be comfortable. The best part is that prices start at $1,800, which is high-ish but not unusually expensive for a piece of clothing with the word “wedding” in its descriptor.

I do feel like these dresses take some getting used to…they’re not particularly shiny and we tend to associate shine with formality. My personal favorite, in case you were wondering, is the dress in the middle. How about you: would you eschew bridal satin in favor of cotton or linen?

I like to read the local paper and not just because I spent too many years of my life –i.e., something like three years– getting paid poo-poo to cover dull as dirt community meetings. One, a good townie rag is a great place to find out about free stuff to do. Two, they’ll profile just about anyone so you get to read the life stories of people like Jim Bob, who won a trophy for his 100 pound pumpkin. And three…wait, there is no three.

Designer Patricia King-Davies apparently live (or used to live) a few towns over from me. I know this because they did a big profile of her in one of the local papers. The article talked about her splendid gowns, so I felt a pressing need to look her up, but the only pictures I could find were from last year’s Nolcha Fashion Week. All I can say is the King-Davies likes the shiny! Her shiny, shiny, shiny World Culture Collection apparently paid tribute to various countries’ styles and attempted to honor their traditions.

Two gowns from the show caught my eye.

Here you have the epic win. I just want to reach out and touch this one because the fabric looks wonderfully delicious and soft. I bet it’s nice to wear, too, with very nothing at all scratchy or poky on the interior of the gown. It looks like King-Davies’ logo is on the midsection, but unlike an LV or a Gucci bit, it’s pretty and subtle. My one criticism is that the model’s boobs need to be hoisted into the designated boob triangles or the triangles need to be brought down a bit.

And here you have the epic fail. Shapeless mass much? Sure, there’s a place for free-flowing fabric…however, all I can see is a sleepy bed-headed woman who was forced to improvise when the doorbell rang too early on a Sunday morning. But if you happen to like it, I’d be happy to travel to your home at your expense and drape high-end bed sheets around you until you’re sufficiently covered up.

You know your best friend isn’t really your best friend when she shows up on your doorstep, terribly excited that she finally found THE perfect bridesmaids’ dresses, and after a great deal of hand fluttering and giggling, she shows you this Saeyoung Vu Couture number. We left butt bows behind for a reason…there’s no need for the boob bow to step in to fill the gap.

All I can think of when looking at this dress is how that bow will undoubtedly come in handy during drunken attendant couplings wherein overzealous and none too coordinated groomsmen are doing their best to make sweet, sweet inebriated love to bridesmaids in reception hall broom closets. The bow says, quite clearly, “Hey, you fumbling oaf, ‘the girls’ are right here!” It is, additionally, something to grab onto when the world starts spinning and all that post-nuptial naughtiness just plain loses its allure.

Now that we’re reaching the end of New York’s Fashion Week (sorry, that’s Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week) and I have clothes on the brain, I thought it might be nice to have a gander at some of the more weddingish pieces to come out of the various Fall 2008 shows.

I have no idea who you are, Alice + Olivia, but I think I love you. I recently read that black is the new, um, itself in the world of weddings (sorry, Twistie!) so if you chose this as your bridal frock you’d have no trouble coordinating your accessories around the sash and the straps.

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I was deeply engrossed in Style Scoop when my little eye happened upon this intersection of the nuptial and the presidential:

Whether you give two toots about Jenna Bush’s May 10th wedding to Henry Hager (I don’t, oddly enough), it’s beyond cool to see all of the potential dress designs. As Style Scoop tells it, the first lady (hey, should I be capitalizing that?) asked twelve notable designers to submit sketches of the gown that may just clothe her daughter on said daughter’s special day.

The twelve designs sprang forth from the minds of the following designers (from one to twelve): Vera Wang, J. Mendel, Arnold Scaasi, Carlos Miele, Amsale, Carmen Marc Valvo, Angel Sanchez, Badgley Mischka, Nicole Miller, Lela Rose, Marc Bouwer, and Oscar de la Renta.

My personal favorite is number nine, but I have always fancied those Nicole Miller ruffles. Number one looks like it ought to be in the annual toilet paper gown contest. Three gets a big ol’ yawn from me, but all things considered it does look sort of right for a White House wedding. Eight is too daring for the same, and I have nothing to say about seven other than that the cartoon model looks entirely undead.

Which, pray tell, do you favor?

In a recent article here, I begged wedding gown designers to offer us something they haven’t in years: sleeves. I truly thought I was whistling in the wind and it would take a very long time to see any sort of action on this request.

Lo and behold, yesterday I went shopping in my local bookstore and paused before the magazine rack, only to see this looking back at me from the display:

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Dear wedding gown designers,

Can we talk about something that’s been bothering me for years now? It’s a little thing called sleeves. Specifically, it’s about how nearly all of you refuse to design any.

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