Manolo for the Brides

…the more they stay the same, at least where wedding vendors and brides and wedding gowns are concerned. Check out these vintage bridal ads:

Odd posture? Check. At least she’s doing something, though. I get the feeling that the photographer snapped the model between shots while she was making a necessary wardrobe adjustment on her Priscilla of Boston gown. Or maybe bridal models all had scoliosis back then, too.

Less than friendly facial expressions on bridesmaids? Check, on the left one at least. Oddly huge bows decorating the posterior region of bridesmaids? Check. Random props — in this case palm fronds — poised to devour the models? Check and check!

But lose the butt bow, and I will gladly shell out “about $40 each” for either of these dresses. Now what I need is the vintage waist to go with them, and I’ll be all set.

There is a crazy undertone to the world of bridal fashion. For example, I really like this lace and silk dupioni gown from Justin Alexander Couture even though it looks like a blancmange:

And what is up with the weird hats and veils? I can’t say I like this Platinum for Priscilla of Boston number–the silk and organza diamond leaf skirt looks like the bottom half of a parade float–but check out that hat. Yow!

This model, resplendent in a beaded, embroidered princess silk satin trumpet gown from Lazaro, is doing her part to ease the pre-wedding jitters of brides all over the world by showing them the her foolproof pit check technique:

Raise your hand if you’re sure, honey!