These… I have to say that I’m not loving most of them, as wedding gowns or even as just gowns. I have no doubt that since they’re Wangs, they’re impeccably made and littered with exquisite details it’s hard to see at this size. Overall, though, they read kind of blah to me. The black on black on black is kind of oppressive and the nude just seems drab and sad. Then again, I think most tulle confections are better served by lighter coloration, such as white or pastels. Black tulle is something I appreciate more as a contrast than a major statement.

So yeah, I’m going with hate here. How about you?

But the fact of the matter is that 98.735% of all of those expectations are based on what is typically done, not on what’s required. The actual legal requirements of getting married here in the USA are pretty minimalist. They’ve even decreased in the years since Mr. Twistie and I tied the knot. When we got married, California still required blood tests. Now most states have dropped that requirement. Several have opened their legal arms to same-sex couples. More will no doubt follow.

And when it comes to religious requirements, well, the vast majority of those are concerned entirely with the marriage ceremony itself. Several faiths do require premarital counseling, and a couple have requirements that may affect your menu. Still, most faiths are more concerned with the wording of the ceremony than the activities at the reception.

When you get right down to it, everything from the bride dressing in white to the tossing of the bouquet and garter, to carrying flowers, to going on a honeymoon afterwards is a matter of tradition or fashion. It’s not written in stone.

That means if you want to wear an unexpected color, like this light green Vera Wang gown from her 2012 collection:

… you’re perfectly free to do so.

You can also go short, like this imaginative piece by Etsy artist lizarietz:

or if you want to wear pants:

That’s fine, too.

And that goes for venues, menus, flowers or substitutes for them, seating arrangements, linens, transportation, and the make up of your wedding party.

If you can imagine it, chances are someone is providing it somewhere. If they aren’t… maybe you should think about whether it’s a good idea to provide it to the world yourself.

When the possibilities are endless, you can let your imagination soar until you find precisely what will make you happy. Fly, my pretties! It’s well worth the trouble.

Want to see some of the 2012 bows? (And where they’ve ended up this go around, which includes the entirety of the torso and back, waist and bust, sometimes turned completely to the side.) Your wish is my command!

Spring 2012 by Douglas Hannant

Spring 2012 by Vera Wang

Spring 2012 by Tara Keely

Spring 2012 by Alan Hannah

Aaaand another example of classic Vera (along with the classic Vera model)

What do you think? Bows, yes or omigosh no?

They definitely have that Vera Wang appeal, all fluttery and feminine, but I feel like overall, the designs are kind of meh. I like the skirts better than the tops, definitely. Especially that one in blush! Yum.

The second launch, a Valentine’s Day special, was BHLDN, Urban Outfitter’s newly-minted wedding brand that falls under the Anthropologie umbrella. Right now, it’s an online-only boutique with convenient sizing that actually lines up with real world sizing (though still only up to 14), but there will be brick and mortar locations are set to open come summertime.

And the Zinnia Gown, designed by Beth Bowley:

If you were curious, BHLDN is pronounced ‘beholden’ – omg how edgy! – though my brain continues to want to parse it as Belden, the name of a line of not-so-great jewelers here in the northeast and, randomly, Kansas. My one complaint is that Urban Outfitter’s wedding dresses are way too expensive for their demographic, but I’m loving the associated ‘event dresses’, vintage-look accessories, lingerie, and jewelery, and I’m looking forward to the tableware, cake-toppers, and invitations launching in May.

What do you think about Vera Wang’s White Collection and bridal newcomer BHLDN?

Let’s make a list… We have an asymmetrical neckline, one off-the-shoulder sleeve, two ribbons that look like gum paste cake decorations, a layered dual-level overskirt, a half bow in the back, and a smooth underskirt. There’s just a lot happening here. Check the back:

Generally, I adore Vera Wang wedding dresses (though her wedding extras, not so much) but this gown is just not doing anything for me AT ALL. Hate. I like certain independent elements, but I’d like to see them all on separate wedding dresses.

How about you? Do you, like me, lean toward simple wedding gowns, or does this dress have appeal?

Ho hum. It’s all right as silver and silverplate go, but I’m not enthralled. For those brides who are, there are picture frames and toasting flutes and kissing bells, all featuring what Wedgwood calls the “unmistakeable Vera Wang solution.” To what problem, I certainly do not know.

In fact, I had a look around Bluefly today — I know, hard work, right? — and found a bunch of gowns that would look fab on a bridesmaid or maid/matron-of-honor. From strapless to strapped, slim to poufy, I hope my choices will delight and perhaps inspire those of you who have not yet decided how your female attendants will be clothed on the big day.

From Vera Wang:

From Nicole Miller:

From A.B.S.:

From Amsale:

As always, you can click for more info!

Oh, some of the frocks are lovely — this one, for example, is beautiful but rather boring — but many are absolutely horrid. Most, however, would look right at home in an episode of classic Star Trek. I’m looking at this one, in particular.

Now this gown covers the midsection with a big ol’ scrunched up mess of fabric, and if there’s anything ladies like, it’s embellishments that emphasize (and add girth to) their midsections. Wait, I have that backward — that’s precisely what 99.9% of brides-to-be DON’T like. But maybe I’m being too hash… Is this dress in the process of spawning? Is that how new gowns come into the world? Ah, the miracle of life!

I feel a bit sorry for the model wearing this frock. First, she’s forced to go down the runway in an outfit that hasn’t been finished (as is evidenced by the unattached sleeves) and then, to add insult to injury, the left sleeve has begun making its way down her arm in a frantic bid for sweet, sweet freedom. All I know is that Ms. Wang better work the kinks out of this cheeky little number.

New, for the discriminating yet mentally unstable bride — a gown with a straitjacket built right in! Also wonderful for reining in runaway brides and preventing sudden outbreaks of the Chicken Dance. Whatever else you think about this dress, you can at least be sure she won’t fly away!

The first time I tried to sew something without a pattern, it came out looking a bit like this. ‘Nuff said.

Carrying around a handbag full of essentials during the reception is such a drag, right? Vera Wang has listened to the concern of wrist-weary brides everywhere and has finally come up with a workable solution. You’ll never worry about headaches, indigestion, or rogue periods again when your wedding day emergency kit is right there in your pocket…your giant mutant pocket from hell, that is. It’s also great for those who are culture-bound to hold a money dance.

I like to know that the people who make my clothes and other accessories for good living are doing their part to minimize waste. This gown, for example, was obviously created from the spare parts. And why not? A strap here, a bow there, and a diagonal line of ruffles should all come together to form a perfectly cohesive dress, right? Right?

Finally, a frock for brides-to-be who worry that their backyard barbecue receptions will sully their carefully polished wedding-day look. Who needs to go hunting for a serviette when there are at least four napkins hanging from the midsection of your gown? The party can go on unimpeded!

Whether you give two toots about Jenna Bush’s May 10th wedding to Henry Hager (I don’t, oddly enough), it’s beyond cool to see all of the potential dress designs. As Style Scoop tells it, the first lady (hey, should I be capitalizing that?) asked twelve notable designers to submit sketches of the gown that may just clothe her daughter on said daughter’s special day.

The twelve designs sprang forth from the minds of the following designers (from one to twelve): Vera Wang, J. Mendel, Arnold Scaasi, Carlos Miele, Amsale, Carmen Marc Valvo, Angel Sanchez, Badgley Mischka, Nicole Miller, Lela Rose, Marc Bouwer, and Oscar de la Renta.

My personal favorite is number nine, but I have always fancied those Nicole Miller ruffles. Number one looks like it ought to be in the annual toilet paper gown contest. Three gets a big ol’ yawn from me, but all things considered it does look sort of right for a White House wedding. Eight is too daring for the same, and I have nothing to say about seven other than that the cartoon model looks entirely undead.

Which, pray tell, do you favor?

But that doesn’t mean I can’t create my own green extravaganza, with pretty chair wraps and a stunning Vera Wang gown and greengreengreen centerpieces in tinted, thrifted glass!

What wouldn’t I change? I’d still go with bronze seal ‘n’ send invitations and I’d still donate all of the leftover food to the local halfway house. I’d still have both my mom and my dad walk me down the aisle, and I’d still get married in my grandmother’s back yard. And I’d still marry The Beard, of course!

Have you ever thought about what you might do differently if you could do it all again? I know I’m not the only one out there who would make a change or two — a quick search for ‘wedding regrets‘ tells me that vendor regret, dress regret, bridal party regret, and financial regret are some of the most common feelings out there.