It’s been said that the reason most people love to watch acrobatics soar through the air is that they’re hoping to see at least one tights-clad performer go splat. If that’s true, it would explain the glee I feel when looking at some of the dresses in Vera Wang’s spring 2009 collection.

Oh, some of the frocks are lovely — this one, for example, is beautiful but rather boring — but many are absolutely horrid. Most, however, would look right at home in an episode of classic Star Trek. I’m looking at this one, in particular.

Now this gown covers the midsection with a big ol’ scrunched up mess of fabric, and if there’s anything ladies like, it’s embellishments that emphasize (and add girth to) their midsections. Wait, I have that backward — that’s precisely what 99.9% of brides-to-be DON’T like. But maybe I’m being too hash… Is this dress in the process of spawning? Is that how new gowns come into the world? Ah, the miracle of life!

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I was deeply engrossed in Style Scoop when my little eye happened upon this intersection of the nuptial and the presidential:

Whether you give two toots about Jenna Bush’s May 10th wedding to Henry Hager (I don’t, oddly enough), it’s beyond cool to see all of the potential dress designs. As Style Scoop tells it, the first lady (hey, should I be capitalizing that?) asked twelve notable designers to submit sketches of the gown that may just clothe her daughter on said daughter’s special day.

The twelve designs sprang forth from the minds of the following designers (from one to twelve): Vera Wang, J. Mendel, Arnold Scaasi, Carlos Miele, Amsale, Carmen Marc Valvo, Angel Sanchez, Badgley Mischka, Nicole Miller, Lela Rose, Marc Bouwer, and Oscar de la Renta.

My personal favorite is number nine, but I have always fancied those Nicole Miller ruffles. Number one looks like it ought to be in the annual toilet paper gown contest. Three gets a big ol’ yawn from me, but all things considered it does look sort of right for a White House wedding. Eight is too daring for the same, and I have nothing to say about seven other than that the cartoon model looks entirely undead.

Which, pray tell, do you favor?

When I was researching bouquets before my wedding, I suddenly developed a thing for green roses…and green lilies and green everything else. I’m not sure where my obsession came from, considering that I’d always found green flowers to be kind of ridiculous, but I was nonetheless adamant about having some non-leafy greens in my bouquet. Sadly, my floral adviser (a designer of some experience) nixed the idea after seeing my wedding colors, and I wisely trusted her judgment.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t create my own green extravaganza, with pretty chair wraps and a stunning Vera Wang gown and greengreengreen centerpieces in tinted, thrifted glass!

Chris-O, a good friend of mine, sent me a link to a neat little dress-up game that lets you (in the form of a skinny cartoon lady) try on a small selection of Vera Wang gowns. Enjoy!

I’m on a Wang kick this week. Hahaha, did I just say that? I mean Vera Wang, of course. I am not lying when I say you’ll be doing your bridesmaids a favor by dressing them in Vera Wang Maids. The dresses are both on the edge of affordable and entirely re-wearable. Observe:

Being rather busty myself, I tend to stay away from plunging necklines. And, being also roundish in general, I also have made a point of avoiding the bubble hem trend. Nonetheless, I feel I can safely admire this dark ivory taffeta Vera Wang gown from afar. It features a draped bodice, an English net pleated underskirt, and an absolutely striking black bow.

The ever fabulous SJ sent me a link to this article about a Romanian priest who is levying a fine upon non-virgins who want to marry in white in his church.

Father Petrica Bratu, 37, from Valea Sarii in central Romania said he wanted to introduce the fine to uphold Christian traditions.

Father Bratu said: ‘The fine depends on how intimate a couple have been before they get married. If they have just moved in together it will be around ten pounds but it goes up to 60 pounds if the bride is pregnant or already has a child.’ Thus introducing the interesting concept of a sliding scale of virginity.

He added: ‘What is the use of the white bridal dress if the bride went from one man to the next, or if she comes into church holding the hand of her child? White is a symbol of purity. I want this to stay unchanged. I do not want young people to think that there is no such thing as sacred matrimony.’

Okay, then. I just hope Bratu isn’t ‘seeing for himself’ before levying the fine.

Susanna of The Bling Blog pointed me toward a recent post of hers that discussed Vera Wang’s new line of matresses. Yes, that’s right, the black-clad gown designer is turning into Martha Stewart.

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