Archive for the ‘Divorce’ Category

Lucky in Awards, Unlucky in Love?

Sunday, February 27th, 2011


Yes, this is a shameless Oscar Tie In article.

Bette Davis and Joan Crawford both won that coveted statuette… and then had their marriages end. They aren’t alone, either. The same can be said of: Sanrda Bullock, Liza Minelli, Halle Berry, and Faye Dunaway.

In fact, the Best Actress Oscar curse has been much discussed over the years, with observers noting that winners of that particular award are more likely to divorce within the next few years than any other Oscar winner. But now the rumor has been investigated and found to be true by Sue Moon and Tiziana Casciaro of the University of Toronto and Colleen Stuart of Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh for their paper The Oscar Curse: Status Dynamics and Gender Differences in Marital Survival.

Moon, Casciaro, and Stuart have found that Best Actress winners are about 1.68 times more likely to divorce than non-winners. Winning the Best Actor Oscar doesn’t seem to have a similar effect on men, incidentally.

So what does that mean for this year’s nominees? Well, the only one who is actually married (though Natalie Portman is engaged) would appear to be Nichole Kidman. If she wins, we’ll just have to keep our fingers crossed for her and hubby Keith Urban.

The True Threat to the Sanctity of Marriage?

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

An article I read recently riffs on the notion that allowing homosexuals and bisexuals to marry would somehow negatively impact the sanctity of marriage by positing that us heterosexuals (or as commenter David would say, str8s) are doing a fine job of making marriage a joke.

[New York Senate Democrat Diane] Savino’s argument was shocking and fresh. After an affecting nod to gay constituents, she began her genuine work. She dared us to consider the condition of contemporary marriage.

The sanctity of marriage, she said, could not possibly be endangered by permitting its access to same-sex couples. If there is any threat to the sanctity of marriage, she said, ”it comes from those of us who have the privilege and the right, and we have abused it for decades”.

”What are we really protecting?” she asked before reminding us that, these days, husbands could be snared on television game shows.

The article goes on to describe how trashing the dress makes a mockery of marriage and that brides and grooms are focusing on everything from the wedding favors to the flavor of the cake instead of putting their energy into the marriage itself. While I, to some extent, can get behind the second point — namely that there are some brides and grooms who go ga-ga over the wedding without really thinking about what marriage means, I really doubt those people are in the majority. Some people take marriage lightly, but thus far, all those people have been heterosexual. It might turn out that homosexuals and bisexuals do a better job of preserving the sanctity of marriage, if only because they had to work so much harder for it.

gay_wedding

And I simply cannot get behind the first point. The wedding isn’t the marriage; one can have the most frivolous of weddings and the most serious of marriages. Wearing one’s wedding dress into a pond to capture what have now become fairly ordinary photographs doesn’t mean one is any less committed to one’s spouse. At most, it could mean one is less committed to one’s wedding dress. Weddings are made of ceremonies and celebrations that commemorate a commitment. They aren’t the commitment itself!

But yeah, divorce. If trashing the dress doesn’t negatively impact the sanctity of marriage and letting gay folks marry won’t negatively impact the sanctity of marriage, maybe it’s divorce? Maybe divorce itself is the problem?

After all, one of the most simplistic arguments against gay marriage suggests that allowing it would lead to more divorce, though it’s never specified whether that’s because there’d be a larger body of married people seeking out divorces or because all us heterosexuals would be running out to get divorced because we’re super psyched that we can marry within our own gender pool now. “Gay marriage is legal now? Oh, snap! I’mma get me one of those! Bye, honey. I loved you once, but the pull of the gay is too strong to resist!”

In any case, a more important question might be: Does it matter? Frankly, I don’t care if allowing homosexual couples to marry would lead to a higher divorce rate. I don’t actually care much if my fellow heterosexuals do all the divorcing, either. The right to marry, after all, is bundled with the right to divorce. At will. For pretty much any reason. And as terrible a thing as divorce can be, it’s also the institution — if I might call it that — that allows abused women and men to escape their abusers… allows children to grow up in homes that aren’t clouded by anger… allows two individuals who might be perfectly good people but aren’t *good together* to have a second chance at happiness.

Should all people have the right to marry the consenting adults they choose to marry? Abso-freaking-lutely. Should all people have the right to divorce the whomever they choose to divorce? Again, yeppers. Do either of those rights make a mockery of marriage? I don’t think so. And for goodness sake, can we all agree that trashing the dress is not leading to divorce? Because that’s just plain silly.

Grooving Toward an Annulment

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

We all know that divorce isn’t funny. You can bake and consume (or smash) all the divorce cakes you want. You can even buy a little casket for your wedding rings. But the reality is that divorce is still a costly and sad process that ends up hurting a lot of people one way or another.

Divorce parodies, on the other hand? They’re still pretty funny, even if a tad mean spirited. Let’s say that laughing at this send-up of the dancing processional video is a guilty pleasure, even though I’m sure the creators don’t harbor any actual ill will toward Jill and Kevin.

Matrimonial miscellany

Friday, June 27th, 2008

My inbox is filling up fast, which means it’s time to do an all-purpose dump of all of the great stuff readers just like you have been kind enough to send me. Here’s just some of what y’all have seen fit to shoot my way:

Bride agrees to let groom just do lurchy side-to-side thing during first dance (+5)

During a traditional wedding ceremony in these countries, the bride and groom jostle for a chance to step on each other’s toes. The first to get off a solid stomp on their beloved’s foot will supposedly be the “boss” in the marriage.

McCauley says divorce cakes are in the same category as divorce cards and black roses for the ex. They’re novelty items, usually ordered by a woman to help bring a friend out of her funk.

A Virginia bride wants the wedding of her dreams, but doesn’t have the funds… so she started an auction on eBay. The winner will get to be a bridesmaid at her wedding next April. (GAH.)

A follow-up to the library wedding-themed invitations, in photos!

A bookish affair

Divorce. Most people think it’s pretty dang serious.

Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

When they said till death do us part, I didn’t think they were talking about the ring

Most people consider divorce one of the most solemn and serious rites of passage. It’s a new beginning that is tainted by a traumatic ending. I say “most people” because I just know that someone is out there right now ordering a tiny coffin for their now defunct wedding band. Personally, I don’t think divorce itself is particularly humorous, though I will occasionally chuckle at impulsive Hollywood weddings followed by speedy Hollywood divorces.

I honestly would not be surprised if this sort of thing starts to catch on. As The Boomer Blog so aptly put it, “For marketers this serves as a revelation: the wedding industry is a gloriously profitable one. Why not create a divorce industry—tailored to boomers who are going through the difficult but ultimately freeing divorce passageway and might appreciate a little levity.”

Is this really necessary?

Last year, someone named Shanna Moakler got in on the action. Her claim to fame was apparently being married to Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker. Like that cake? It’s the divorce cake she chopped into delicious edible bits at her divorce party as a means of finding closure. Back in my day–I’m 28, can I have a day?–closure was the product of a lot of crying, a lot of money, a lot of paperwork, and a few tubs of very expensive ice cream.

So what’s going to be the next hot item in the novelty divorce market? Perhaps the ex-husband voodoo doll? Humorous sweatshirts? Cheeky breakup care packages? Only time will tell…