What is it about weddings that inspires so many people to make bizarre and wasteful choices? Setting aside the fact that so many people choose bad mates, who in their right mind really thinks that anyone needs a little ceramic swan or tiny pastel colored bucket? Don’t these future brides and grooms choosing hideously colored bridesmaid dresses, useless favors, and hugely elaborate invitations know that those things will more than likely end up tossed in the trash at the next spring cleaning?

There is an alternative! Books like Green Weddings That Don’t Cost the Earth offer easy-to-use suggestions for eco-friendly weddings. And there are plenty of other ways to hold a wedding that is elegant, refined, and beneficial to others. Here are five:

1) Choose dresses that can be used again, by both bridesmaids and bride. Brides can choose a color and then let bridesmaids choose a cut if they purchase through retailers like Alfred Sung. A bride that’s not concerned with preserving her dress might consider a simpler style that can be dyed for post-wedding use.

2) Or, make a young girl’s day by donating your wedding or bridesmaid dress to the Glass Slipper Project. The I Do Foundation accepts dress donations, sells them and gives part of the proceeds to charity (and uses the rest to support themselves).

3) The I Do Foundation also has a charity registry. If you, like me, have all the pots, pans, plates, furniture, and linens you need, you can invite your wedding guests to give to others in your name in leiu of a traditional gift.

4) Give your guests something cool to remember your wedding by that they will also be able to use. Thanks to the miracle of mass production, favors needn’t be some tacky tchatchka. Mini photo albums, heart-shaped measuring spoons, and plant-a-cards can all be procured fairly cheaply these days.

5) Make your wedding eco-friendly as suggested above. Use bulky recycled unbleached paper and natural elements like pressed flowers to create invitations. These, I’ve found, turn out so dang classy. Buy your gown from an environmentally friendly source. Consider growing your own bouquet at home. And, of course, throw birdseed instead of rice.

Now, I’m not saying that most weddings are wasteful any more than any other big party is wasteful. Or that anyone should ever include bulgar wheat or tempeh in their wedding plans. But, if you’re creating the foundation for a life lived in harmony, why not take some extra steps to include others in that harmony?

I’m really liking this super glam satin bridesmaid gown from PacificPlex. I’m a big fan of dresses with a little stretch and dresses that feature ruching. If it has lumps on purpose, no one’s going to notice the lumps that aren’t supposed to be there. The gown, which also comes in a jewel-like fuscia, red, gold, blue, and pink, has a matching chiffon scarf that’s great for covering up the shoulder area.

My only beef is the flat front panel that could reveal a little too much about my exercise habits. Of course, if I wore this dress in a wedding party, you know I’d be sporting my control top tights.

…I can at least ensure that the ladies standing at my side on my wedding day are wearing dresses they will be able to use again and again, like this one from Chinese Tailor. I like this dress because of the fact that it is simple and yet flashy in a discrete way. From far away it will look relatively plain but up close it will shine. Plus, they are hand-sewn, made to order, and relatively cheap.

Though I’m not enamoured by the color of this organza and satin After Six bridesmaid dress, I love, love, love the style. Actually, the color doesn’t matter since it comes in fifteen other colors including a lovely dusty blue and a dashing dark lilac. Yum. Being that I’m in a hurry since I’m traveling to Manhattan to be there for the Pajamas Media launch, I’m going to list the reasons I love it and see what you, my faithful readers agree with and disagree with.

1. The halter-style top can flatter both the busty and not-so-busty ladies.

2. The A-line skirt will not reveal the true cuvature of the bottom or the hips.

3. The ribbon faux belt sits below the waist in order to give the illusion of waist where there is none.

4. Tea length = not too flashy

5. This dress need not be so tight. One size up to give the girls some room to move won’t necessarily make it look like a sack.

6. Finally, this dress does not scream, “BRIDESMAID!”

And there you have it. There only real problem is that one’s arms are entirely exposed and not everyone cares for that. Of course, I am talking about my ideal wedding here…and I still haven’t decided whether I will be a good bride or a bad bride.

This European Satin strapless bridesmaid dress with attached banded, bowed, and beaded corset around the bodice by designer Bill Levkoff seems a little…demonic for the traditional church wedding, but could be quite the showstopper at a wedding officiated over by a Church of Satan representative.

Perhaps the ceremony could be held in the Goth room of Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel, where the Grim Reaper welcomes you at the wrought iron cemetary gates and escorts you through the fog and candlelight to meet your minister, Count Dracula himself, and in place of the wedding march, the bride emerges from within the confines of a snow white coffin.

For hundreds of years, women have feared being called upon for bridesmaid duty for one terrifying reason: The tendency of bride’s to want to outfit their best friends and confidants in frumpy, poofy, outstandingly gaudy wedding gear. I’ve long wondered why we ladies are subjected to hot pink empire waist, many flowered monstrosities or dresses that flatter only .5% of the population. My theory? A wedding is the bride’s day to shine and she’s going to shine, darn it, no matter what.

But take a tip from Joanna Saltz, of The Knot, who says that the new rules say bridesmaid dresses should be comfy and re-usable, and don’t need to be clones of one another!

The best wedding I have ever been a part of saw me wearing a dress very much like this one from Eden Bridals:

My fellow bridesmaids wore similarly-colored, similarly styles dresses. The bride let us know ahead of time the basic color she wanted, but let us choose the styles that most flattered our bodies.

Since the wedding, I’ve worn the dress time and again, but no, I didn’t outshine the bride.