Manolo for the Brides

Itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow polkadot bikinis? I say, whatever floats your boat. Itty-bitty bridesmaids’ dresses? Er, I’m really not so keen on them. THREAD recently introduced a line of duchess satin mini dresses that I must presume are being marketed toward female wedding attendants.

I can’t say that they’re not cute — because they are — but I keep picturing them on waifish models strolling the streets of New York City. When I try to envision these dresses on bridesmaids, my brain rebels. Bridesmaids come in all shapes and sizes, but 95% of those shapes are sizes usually shy away from dresses that can be described as “mini.”

With the exception of the Carolyn style, they’re not THAT short, by which I mean they’re not “Central American short.” But are they wedding appropriate? And heres’s another thought: Why are they almost universally more expensive than the much more substantial duchess satin dresses on the site? I’d hoped they’d be slightly cheaper!

My verdict is that I like these frocks, but I wouldn’t ask my bridesmaids to wear them. HATE wins again, I suppose. What say you?

I’m a huge fan of stepping away from the bridal salons when it comes time to choose dresses for your bridesmaids. For one thing, your gals can take all of the money they would have spent on “something they could wear again but won’t” and spend it on a dress that doesn’t scream bridesmaid. Of course, hitting up Bluefly instead of Eden Bridals is no guarantee that you’ll find something great.

Remember the bubble boob bow number I wrote about a few months back? As it turns out, that frock did not represent an isolated case of boobowocity. While trolling for potential bridesmaids’ dresses I came across more boob bows, which I have arranged here from the most minuscule to the most tuggable.

But why stop there? If you really want to drive home the point — Bows! You love ‘em! You’ve got ‘em! BOWS BOWS BOWS! — you can gift your gals with one of these Franchi clutches to thank them for dutifully encasing their bosoms in gigantic bows without complaint.

I’ve seen wrap dresses and convertible dresses that purported to be for the bridesmaid, but they were always made out of t-shirt material and not at all formal looking. I’ve also seen many a dress that was described as “something you could wear again” when the fact is that if it’s floor length and made out of Duchess satin, it’s probably not going to get a lot of future play.

All four of the models in this unpleasantly dark pic are wearing the same dress from Twobirds Bridesmaid. Designer Ariane Goldman (Finkel) created this multi-purpose frock because she was sick of paying too much for bridesmaid garb she would never, ever, ever wear again.

The straps can apparently be manipulated into more than ten different configurations, though the how-to on the web site only features eight different tutorials. I’d wager that ten is a lowball assessment, however. If you’re crafty and clever, and you spend some time playing with this dress, you’ll probably figure out entirely new ways to use it.

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…in the oven, that is. It must be hard to be an expanding entity in the WIC world, where dresses and accessories need to be ordered eons in advance. You don’t know precisely how big you’ll be six months from now, and yet you must place that dress order soon, lest you be left without something coordinating to wear on your friend’s wedding day. Buying a great dress when you’re not a size 2 is hard enough, so I can imagine the potent frustration of the pregnant bridesmaid!

What if one thinks all of the maternity bridesmaids dresses out there are utter shite? Does one buy too large a dress and have it taken in? Or something with an empire waist and a lot of flowing, gauzy fabric? Most of the maternity dresses specifically aimed at bridesmaids (and there aren’t all that many) are dull as doornails, cut oddly, or vaguely triangular in a way flattering no one.

I found only two I liked:

The main reason that I like the chiffon number from Eden Bridals on the left is because it doesn’t try to take a regular dress and fit a beachball tummy into it. As long as it’s tight enough around the bust and not some hideous color, it’ll make the wearer look like a very pregnant Greek goddess. The luminescent chiffon dress from Watters on the right will likely appeal most to those who either have a naturally smooth silhouette or plenty of smoothing undergarments. I like it because it’s unapologetic — the wearer obviously has nothing to hide.

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Not everyone has the cash on hand to buy themselves the ultimate matrimonial outfit. I was reminded of this truism while reading Genevieve Antoine Dariaux’s A Guide to Elegance, a book originally published in 1964. I have the 2003 edition, but it doesn’t seem to have changed much, being that Dariaux advocates the constant wearing of suits and warns against soiled kid gloves.

I wasn’t sure how to take the advice she gives brides-to-be whose dreams outstrip their budgets.

A bride-to-be never dreams of getting married in her everyday clothes, even for the most informal ceremony. If circumstances or her financial means do not permit her to wear the traditional white wedding gown, she wishes at least to appear in something new on that happy occasion. Her best solution in this case is to buy a smart suit and a very pretty hat, which can be of any style at all except for a flowered or white feather headdress with a veil.

Nothing strikes me as more pathetic than to see on Saturday morning at the doors of a church some young bride who could only afford half of a wedding ensemble, when it would have been much more charming and easier on her budget too if she had simply selected a normal city outfit. The same is true of the wedding party, who also have every interest in avoiding cho-chis and pastel shades which will be of no use to them later on.

It’s nice to know that the bridesmaids of yesteryear were as concerned about blah pastels as we are today–the most memorable part of 27 Dresses was how each and every bride told her maids that they’d be able to wear their hideous novelty dresses again–but Dariaux’s advice sounds rather condescending to me. While there’s nothing wrong with going with a nice “city outfit,” there’s a whole world of options in between the giant marshmallow gowns and the plain white suit. Especially now!

For example, this midweight silk dress from the J. Crew Wedding Shop costs a mere $225, which is a steal where wedding wear is concerned. Pair it with a silk and cashmere wrap, some gold (or gold-like) filigree jewelry, and a pair of pretty white heels for a wonderfully elegant and put-together look.

I asked my FSIL to be a bridesmaid in my wedding in a misguided attempt to foster some sort of sisterly bond between us. Long story short, I now advise all who ask me whether they should do the same to choose their maids on the basis of already extant bonds. Thankfully I’ve rambled on about in-laws quite recently, so this post is not about spousal sisters but rather about the dresses they might want to wear if asked to be in the bridal party.

Longer story short, my SIL is a bit older than The Beard, and the dresses she initially gravitated toward had sleeves and conservative necklines, like these from Aria.

Please note that I in no way encouraged my SIL to do anything outside of choose a dress that was the right length and the right color. She herself brought up the fact that she would feel more comfortable in a frock that didn’t bare too much and wasn’t particularly daring, meaning no strapless dresses or dipping décolletages. That was fine by me, just as my own sister’s choice of a dress with the tiniest of spaghetti straps was fine by me. I’m easygoing like that.

Even longer story short, dwelling on the whole amazingly facocked situation got me thinking about older bridesmaids in general and how they might feel when wearing in a little silk sheath surrounded by gals ten or more years their junior.

I can easily imagine many a mother who’d be utterly honored to stand amongst her daughter’s bridesmaids. On the other hand, most bridesmaid garb is designed for the younger, youthful figure. Heck, I’m only 28 (maybe 26 or even 25 on a good day) and I already prefer clothing that conceals more than it reveals.

If I’m not quite young or youthful enough for many of today’s bridesmaid styles, I’m guessing that your mom or your Aunt Beth or your older cousin who’s like a sister to you might appreciate not being asked to wear something short, strapless, and tight. Should your wedding party include bridesmaids of a certain age, you may want to consider choosing a dressmaker that will outfit each of your bridesmaids in a different style using the same fabric.

And now, a poll…

You know your best friend isn’t really your best friend when she shows up on your doorstep, terribly excited that she finally found THE perfect bridesmaids’ dresses, and after a great deal of hand fluttering and giggling, she shows you this Saeyoung Vu Couture number. We left butt bows behind for a reason…there’s no need for the boob bow to step in to fill the gap.

All I can think of when looking at this dress is how that bow will undoubtedly come in handy during drunken attendant couplings wherein overzealous and none too coordinated groomsmen are doing their best to make sweet, sweet inebriated love to bridesmaids in reception hall broom closets. The bow says, quite clearly, “Hey, you fumbling oaf, ‘the girls’ are right here!” It is, additionally, something to grab onto when the world starts spinning and all that post-nuptial naughtiness just plain loses its allure.

Over at Manolo for the Home, I talk about how overwhelmingly blue the furniture and design world has been as of late. Seriously — looking at Bluefly, I’d say that a good 85% of the blue dresses could easily be integrated into the photo shoots in my stack of more recent home decor rags. Now I’m a blue fanatic. In fact, I’m kind of surprised my wedding colors were brown and gold rather than blue and silver. Life’s funny like that, I guess.

Aren’t these blue dresses beautiful? Wouldn’t they look lovely on a gaggle of giggly bridesmaids?

Usually I’d take dresses like these and match them with something like a cake or flowers or place settings, but I’m in a weird mood. As it turns out, you can match your bridesmaids to your port-o-johns if you’re so inclined.

Just…wow…

One E. Dee Martin of Washington, DC decided to prove that you really can re-wear those tired old bridesmaid dresses hanging in the back of your closet. She and her girlfriends picked out their ugliest wedding frocks and staged a no holds barred pastels vs. autumn shades bridesmaid football game.

Awesome, no? The first (and by far the most awful) bridesmaid dress I ever wore was made of some scratchy, shiny teal fabric, but I can’t dis on it too hard because my grandma made it and she might stumble across this blog someday. Sorry, gram!

A great little article in the NYT Fashion & Style section discusses the evolution of the bridesmaid dress, from “structured duchess satin” gowns to sophisticated gowns that flow with the body. The article makes the claim that today’s bridesmaid garb is far more fashion forward than the poufy pastel dresses of yesteryear.

“Everybody wants to put their personal touch on the dress,” said Lazaro Perez of the Lazaro bridal house. Requests typically include hems and neckline modifications, or a change in fabrics. Some houses are responding with a menu of options meant to render the one-style-fits-all philosophy of bridal-party dressing as quaint as twin beds in the honeymoon suite.

It’s a nice sentiment, but a quick search reveals that there are still scads of ugly bridesmaid dresses out there that wouldn’t be out there if people weren’t buying them. I think that the gown industry still has a long row to hoe. What say you?