I want to hate this Mira Zwillinger wedding gown, and not just because I love to hate things! The skirt looks like the wings of a jellyfish. From what I can see of the bodice, it looks kind of messy… or, worse, puffy. The dress aside, the model is hunched over and looks so damn sad. Maybe her middle looks bloated not because of the wedding gown itself, but because the model just drowned her sorrows in a pint of rocky road. And what’s with those dirty painter’s tarps in the background? I know! Let’s shoot our depressed, bloated model in a loft space currently undergoing renovations!

There’s so much to complain about, and yet this wedding gown appeals to the little girl in me. It’s so flowy… so much like the ballet costumes I couldn’t get enough of in my youth. I really do love it, insofar as I can see it. Note to Mira Zwillinger: Can we see some details next time?

What say you?

Sadie over at Jezebel recently shared the fact that the wedding gown she’ll be wearing when she marries her current beau is the wedding gown she planned to wear when engaged to a former beau. No, Sadie isn’t some kind of uber budget bride. It’s just that the wedding gown she already had was so… perfect. The idea of the perfect wedding gown is definitely a cliché, but in Sadie’s case, it isn’t far from the truth.

It was the dress I’d had in mind long before I’d met my first boyfriend; he’d never seen it; and, most of all, it had been made for me. It was, and remains, the only custom garment I’ve ever owned, and there seemed an unspeakable luxury to stepping into a dress I’d envisioned and having it fit perfectly. I’d long peered into the windows of the dressmaker’s small shop in lower Manhattan, and it was with great excitement that I’d first breached the doorway and explained what I wanted: Swiss Dot; sweetheart neck; full, ballerina-length skirt. I was quickly persuaded to adopt a pale pink underskirt and a dainty tulle halter that sounds slightly ugly but is, I assure you, truly lovely. Without the crinoline, the dress would simply be a pretty, retro party-frock; with, it reminded me of the wedding gown from Funny Face.

I don’t think *I* could wear the same wedding dress I’d planned to wear to marry some other guy, but I’m not about to jump all over someone who would. Especially if they’ve been dreaming of a particular dress for ages upon ages. After all, why let a less-than-perfect (wo)man ruin the perfect dress? If Sadie is cool with it and her fiancé is cool with it, who am I to tsk-tsk their decision? On the other hand, I would caution against letting the future in-laws know the origins of the wedding dress, depending on their general dispositions.

What do you think? Is this tacky? Resourceful? Overly sentimental? Not sentimental enough?

Note: If you like the dress above, check out Lynns Rags, the Etsy shop of its creatrix!

…the more they stay the same, at least where wedding vendors and brides and wedding gowns are concerned. Check out these vintage bridal ads:

Odd posture? Check. At least she’s doing something, though. I get the feeling that the photographer snapped the model between shots while she was making a necessary wardrobe adjustment on her Priscilla of Boston gown. Or maybe bridal models all had scoliosis back then, too.

Less than friendly facial expressions on bridesmaids? Check, on the left one at least. Oddly huge bows decorating the posterior region of bridesmaids? Check. Random props — in this case palm fronds — poised to devour the models? Check and check!

But lose the butt bow, and I will gladly shell out “about $40 each” for either of these dresses. Now what I need is the vintage waist to go with them, and I’ll be all set.

If you have already bought your wedding gown aaaaaand you live near Panama City, FL, you’re going to be so sad you didn’t go to Yvette’s Bridal while it still existed.

Why choose Yvette’s for your wedding gown, bridesmaids dress, and tuxedo needs? The web site says it all. Specifically, it says “Yvette’s is OPEN SUNDAYS !!!! Yvette’s will be open all holidays !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay !! Judy !!” and “why do we have hair in our armpits??…………what possible idiosyncrasy could posses a deity to create something with hair in its armpits??…………….I seriously want to know why we have hair in our armpits??”

That is some seriously persuasive sales copy, am I right? But for reals, I don’t know why this site cracks me up so much, especially seeing as that the real Yvette’s web site likely died some time in 2006. It was a legit bridal shop once upon a time, but who knows what happened to it in the interim. Kudos to whoever took it over, as the site offers a few minutes of amusement for those super sick of looking at badly-designed bridal salon web sites that are supposed to be elegant (instead of painfully ironic).

Before you actually visit the chaos that is Yvette’s, please heed these warnings:

Warning I: Music will play. Loudly. On the front page, a piece commemorating the Battle of Flodden Field plays. Different music plays on every single page.

Warning II: Looking at Yvette’s site too long may cause blindness and/or deafness. Possibly also insanity.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, have a look at the map, the poetry, the artwork, and the bizarre ramblings of what must be a junior grade conspiracy theorist. Oh, and this… Popeye and peeping? Wind me up!

On truly cold mornings, when it’s frosty outside and I am forced by necessity to leave the toasty warm confines of my blissful bedclothes, a nightgown is not always enough. In my sleep-addled state, I will often attempt to wrap myself up in a blanket before making my way to the espresso machine. Oftentimes, I end up looking rather like this:

Needless to say, I am not liking this wedding dress. While I can’t proclaim that I hate, hate, hate it — honestly, it does not deserve that level of emotion — there’s not much to speak in this wedding gown’s favor. I’m down with the black wedding dresses, and I’m all for plaids, but the sash curving around the main frame of the gown looks like it was hastily pinned on at the last second by a bride who was either very chilly or had a wardrobe malfunction that a few strategically placed pins could not fix. What this wedding dress needs, in my opinion, is to be deconstructed and then put back together by someone who has a bit more talent with a sewing machine.

What say you?

I don’t have much to say today, recovering as I am from the usual post-Christmas travel stupor. However, I am certainly feeling well enough to both look at photographs of wedding garb and find some amazing period wedding attire for you to covet.

The fabric comes from Hyena, which also provides fabric to one of my favorite gown designers, Alisa Benay. The period wedding gown itself was created by Kindred Spirits, which creates gorgeous garments using the traditional methods of haute couture.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard brides-to-be say things like “I’d do X if it weren’t for Y.” Usually, the X is something like “wear a wedding dress that shows off my killer tattoos” or “serve a gluten-free vegan reception dinner” or “hire a bouncy castle for my adults-only wedding.” The Y is most often “my family,” though it is occasionally “society’s expectations.”

Every bride-to-be and groom-to-be… okay, almost every bride and groom… pays tribute to the conventions laid out by culture and religion and familial traditions, even if they don’t realize it. Social expectations are like advertising — we’re exposed to them our entire lives, in the conversations we hear and the media we see and the stories we’re told. Unless one lives the extremely examined life, it can be difficult to know where societal conventions end and where one’s own desires begin.

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