I was happy to receive an absolutely gorgeous thank you note in the mail yesterday from an old friend of mine who also happens to be a future bride. The note included a few very specific words about how often the future bride and groom plan to use my gift – some sort of waffle thing – in the future and how they were sorry I couldn’t make the engagement party. There were also a few personal words from my friend to me.

The traditional thank you note, it seems, is almost a lost art. But the nearly extinct hand-written, personal wedding thank you note serves two distinct purposes. In writing it, the couple acknowledges their receipt of the gift. In receiving it, the giver feels they have not wasted their $49.95 and also has confirmation that said waffle…thing did not get lost in the post.

Mannersmith Monthly tells us that when writing such a note, sincerity is key.

If someone has gone to enough effort to give you a gift, you should properly thank him or her with a personal note…Unless your handwriting is horrific, I recommend handwritten notes for both personal and business thank you notes. There are many advantages to handwritten notes…The old adage is that if someone took the time to give you a gift, you should take the time to write the person a note.

So true. And now, in case you found this lecture on etiquette tedious, here is a photo of a wedding gown that apparently doubles as an accordion:

I’m totally in love with this year’s Reem Acra bridal collection, which includes this absolutely gorgeous strapless satin full-skirted gown with embroidered bow detailing on a multi seamed bodice. While some of the gowns contain slightly risqué elements – can you say plunging neckline? – they are, for the most part, extremely tasteful and highly detailed without resorting to tackiness.

The model, however, I could do without. She looks as if she just got off of a month-long bridal magazine binge and is about to announce to her bridal party that anyone who can’t follow her directions will be shot on sight.

To me this looks like the kind of dress a blushing bride puts on under her wedding dress, not the wedding dress itself.

Being that I like to believe that we are becoming a more thrifty and ecologically minded people, I also like to believe that the large number of used and new wedding gowns for consignment are the result of generous souls rather than divorced or cold footed ones.

Craiglist, EBAY, Freecycle, and other sites of that ilk have become a goldmine for enterprising and frugal brides, young and old alike, to find everything from shoes to dresses to favors to funny shirts for the bridesmaids. And I applaud that.

The thing that sticks out in my mind, however, is the rather large numbers of wedding dresses being sold by owners who say the dress has never been worn. The typical reason involves the blushing future bride finding a dress she liked better. While a few of the dresses in question leave no question as to why she would want to change her dress selection, such as this one, which from the back looks like an overdecorated meringue tart:

Most of them look rather stunning, like this Casablanca Bridal number:

I just don’t understand it!

After seeing Rei Kawakubo’s Comme des Garçons inkjet-printed silk gown with giant velvet bow and cake-shaped headpiece modeled by Katie Holmes in W Magazine, I am almost glad to see that Holmes and her shortstack beau have decided to postpone their nuptuals in favor of creating mini scientologists.

When the first chill of the autumn season sets in, provided your geographical location supports such a thing, it may seem like the time for thinking about beach weddings is over. But since most weddings are planned months, if not years in advance, that is when I begin to have golden dreams about the ultimate seaside wedding.

In many cases, the seaside wedding is treated as a casual affair or a free-for-all of sandy shoes, nowhere to sit down, and gritty cake. But inside every girl is a prima donna of planning! Deep down in the heart of every lady beats the drum of a matrimonial general, ready to position her troops effectively on any terrain!

Taryn Bussewitz of UltimateWedding.com reminds us future brides that it pays to think about tents, tides, tables, and even toilets when we’re thinking about our big day. Give people a place to put their shoes and handbags. And for goodness sake, somewhere to sit.

Not to mention, of course, everyone’s favorite part: the dress. Keeping in mind that there will be great quantities of sand involved, consider a shorter, simpler dress. You wouldn’t believe how much sand can get stuck in layers of lace and you don’t want to bring the beach home with you after the reception. To see a few gowns that would look great on any tropical isle, take a gander at JCREW for the brides.

Without a little effort, hopeful beach brides can make sure their wedding snapshots will look like this:

Instead of this:

For hundreds of years, women have feared being called upon for bridesmaid duty for one terrifying reason: The tendency of bride’s to want to outfit their best friends and confidants in frumpy, poofy, outstandingly gaudy wedding gear. I’ve long wondered why we ladies are subjected to hot pink empire waist, many flowered monstrosities or dresses that flatter only .5% of the population. My theory? A wedding is the bride’s day to shine and she’s going to shine, darn it, no matter what.

But take a tip from Joanna Saltz, of The Knot, who says that the new rules say bridesmaid dresses should be comfy and re-usable, and don’t need to be clones of one another!

The best wedding I have ever been a part of saw me wearing a dress very much like this one from Eden Bridals:

My fellow bridesmaids wore similarly-colored, similarly styles dresses. The bride let us know ahead of time the basic color she wanted, but let us choose the styles that most flattered our bodies.

Since the wedding, I’ve worn the dress time and again, but no, I didn’t outshine the bride.