That’s only one reason that Karen Bell’s wedding gown is so remarkable. It’s also a rather ambitious DIY upcycling project. When Karen and her new husband Simon decided to tie the knot, they reasoned that since they’d both been married before in white weddings, they wanted to do something different. They decided to celebrate their hometown of Manchester, England across the Atlantic… oh, sorry. Flashback to that production of Hair I saw once. Anyway, yes, their hometown of Manchester, England where they both still live, and the football team they both support.

Over the years, Simon had developed a collection of Manchester-themed shirts. He handed these over to Karen who spent the next eight months at her sewing machine turning them into the gown shown above.

After the wedding, the happy couple went straight to romantic Etihad Stadium to watch their beloved team play. There is no word on whether or not the bride changed her clothes first.

Whatever the case, I do wish them the very best of British luck, and may Manchester City win often.

As many of you have no doubt heard on the wedding grapevine, Priscilla of Boston has sold out to David’s Bridal and their boutiques are closing their doors all over the country.

In the Cameron Village store in Minnesota, however, it seems they’ve done more than simply close doors. There are rumors of workers spray painting leftover gowns and consigning them to dumpsters.

Other merchants in Cameron Village claim they haven’t seen any spray painting and dumping, but there are photos like the one above that give credence to the story, and at least one former employee claims to have seen this in action.

David’s Bridal has neither confirmed nor denied the story. They have, however, made a statement that Priscilla of Boston never did donate wedding gown samples in poor condition… which begs the question of what condition these gowns were in that spraying huge orange swirls on them and putting them in a dumpster is a better use for them than donating them to charity, offering them to consignment stores, or selling them off at bargain basement prices as is.

Ultimately, this is their merchandise. They can do as they please with it so long as the use is not illegal in itself. Painting and dumping the gowns is not a crime.

I do, however, consider it a real shame. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather work with a company that doesn’t waste apparently perfectly good wedding gowns simply because they’re out of season or have a tiny flaw somewhere in them. I’d rather work with a company that wouldn’t condone this sort of flagrant waste of goods.

Whatever the facts in this case, I hope that brides take the time to consider the companies they deal with and whether the policies those companies follow fit with their own morals and standards.

Sometimes it’s not enough that something isn’t illegal.

There’s even plenty of literature to back that up. Not just novels, though the theme is rife in books that feature weddings, but in films, TV shows, and even blogs about weddings.

For instance, a recent article at the Huffington Post by wedding gown designer Justina McCaffrey chronicles the way she sees career woman after career woman morph from a no-nonsense, phone-glued-to-the-ear customer in search of a simple white pantsuit to get married in to a dewy-eyed Disney princess in the making.

It is the abandoned dream and vision of herself that was once forgotten somewhere between the divorce of her parents, high school exams, and her first broken heart. It is the internal struggle of regrets versus survival and that suddenly in the mirror a vision of herself looking like she is in love, and looking like she is vulnerable, and even giddy with joy makes her uncomfortable. It is a woman that she does not know. It is the woman she used to be, even as a little girl.

She cries as she sees herself in a white ballgown and veil. She is a princess.

But there’s something McCaffrey doesn’t mention: not all women react the same way to their wedding gown. Just as not every woman walks in holding a business conference on her phone while shopping for a dress, not every woman is just waiting for the princess within to be revealed.

Just as not every girl wants a church wedding, not every girl truly wants a ballgown and veil. And some who do want them won’t react so violently when they put them on.

Some women react more like Kate Fridkis in her recent Huffpo article: What if You Don’t Become a Fairy Princess in Your Wedding Gown?

For a long time, I hoped that something magical would happen when I dressed up. I hoped that I’d transform. I’d watched too many movies. I’d had too many friends with excellent collarbones and sculpted shoulders that were practically begging to be bared. I thought that the ability to undergo a metamorphosis from normal to stunning with a few simple props was an integral part of being a successful woman. I certainly thought it was an essential part of being a bride.

Now I’m not sure it is. I’m sort of glad I looked like me on my wedding day. After all, it was me getting married. Not a fairy princess. I mean, I was glad my husband looked like himself, in his tux. I wanted to see his familiar face, not the face of Prince Charming. That would’ve freaked me out.

I have to admit, I didn’t cry when I put on my wedding gown. I didn’t tear up. I was happy, certainly, and thought I looked pretty damn great… but I was just me in a better than normal dress. And Mr. Twistie was himself in a morning suit and top hat. That was something I’d seen before. It’s a nice sight, of course, but not something once-in-a-lifetime.

And you know what? That’s okay.

You really don’t have to release the princess within to get married. It’s even entirely possible she just isn’t there to be released.

Shopping for a wedding gown can be one of the most exciting, and one of the most frustrating parts of planning a wedding.

It’s exciting because you’re getting to play dress up with wildly luxurious dresses, the like of which you will probably never wear again. It’s exciting because finding that just right dress makes the whole thing seem real for the first time to a lot of women. It’s exciting because salons pamper brides.

It’s frustrating because it’s rare that a bride has the budget for the really spectacular gowns. It’s frustrating because sometimes it’s hard to know which gown to pick… especially when choosing between gowns that look an awful lot alike. It’s frustrating because everyone you bring with you has an opinion, and sometimes it’s the polar opposite of yours, which leads to second-guessing and fear of making a bad decision.

And then there are those oh-so-helpful guides to choosing the right gown for your figure flaws.

My advice? Ignore them! Forget they exist!

In the first place, your body is not a problem to be solved. It’s a fabulous piece of natural machinery and one that was involved in making someone else fall in love. Your intended and your family and your friends – if they’re doing it right – see your physical beauty as well as your more inner beauty. On your wedding day, they’ll see how happily you glow, how much joy you’re feeling. They’ll see how radiant you are and appreciate that no matter what the packaging looks like.

In the second place, these guides all seem to assume that you have one single figure issue and you want to hide it. These guides tell you what to do if you’re short, and they tell you what to do if you’re pear-shaped… but they assume that short women by definition aren’t pear-shaped and give conflicting advice. And assuming the one, burning desire of all short brides is to look taller… well, some women love to emphasize something that is not conventionally appreciated. I’ve known many a short woman – myself included – who has no interest in appearing taller, and several who deliberately emphasize their petite stature.

Speaking of that conflicting advice, take a look at this guide to choosing the best wedding gown for your figure. Apparently, the single least likely to look good feature on any gown for any bride is… sleeves. Ditching sleeves makes you look taller, keeps your hourglass figure proportional, both increases and decreases your bust visually… oh, except that every single bride in the world looks great in cap sleeves. And heavy brides need sleeves to keep from showing the world our humongous hammy arms. I know a lot of women who consider cap sleeves the bane of the fashion world. And I know plenty of my fellow fats who defend their right to bare arms.

In the third place, these guides ignore something vital: personality. According to every style guide I’ve ever seen for short women, I need to ditch any large, dramatic features or accessories. My tiny frame cannot handle them, you see. But even when I weighed a hundred pounds soaking wet, the fastest way to make me disappear straight into the wallpaper was to take away my drama. Big accessories, bright colors, and a willingness to go for broke in fashion terms have always made me the center of attention.

By the same token. I’ve known women who the style guides would have told to layer on drama, but who looked ridiculous if they took that advice. Their personalities made them better suited to dainty accessories, pastels, and simple cuts.

You know who you are better than a salon consultant who met you two minutes ago. Be clear with her about your personal style and your priorities. Give her the best snapshot idea you can of who she’s dressing before she goes to pull gowns.

After all, you don’t want the most important dress of your life to be all about covering something up: you want it to display the best of you in the best possible way.

For my part, I find it rather confused. The bodice is satin with the currently trendy one-strap look and a geometrical crumb catcher. It hits nearly every major trend except for lace.

Then the skirt is simply a huge pouf of tulle.

I think how it really strikes me is unfinished. The lines, while not my personal faves, aren’t awful by any means. Each part has the potential to be kind of amazing… but there’s nothing holding this design together. Perhaps I would like it better if there were some form of embellishment that was used on both parts. Then again, I don’t think a major statement bodice like that can really use embellishing. I think what it needs is a different skirt. And an etherial skirt like that never looks quite right to my eyes with a highly structured bodice, so I think it needs a softer, more romantic top.

In short, I find this a little scattered, with each half having great potential if paired with something that suits it better. I have to go with hate on this.

What say all of you?

There. I said it. I much prefer the LOLcats version. I believe it makes more sense and is better written, to boot.

But we’re not here to talk about Twilight as a whole. No, we’re here to talk about Bella’s much ballyhooed wedding gown, designed by Carolina Herrera… or at least the bargain movie tie-in by Alfred Angelo, which retails for $799.00. It looks like this:

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m kind of loving this. It’s rather elegant, with a bit of a slinky thirties vibe. I think the sleeves are pretty, and the lace over illusion back gives a bit of a wow factor to an otherwise simple gown. And at that price, it’s within reach of many a woman yearning for something that isn’t a strapless a-line or mermaid gown!

So here’s my vote: LOVE the dress, HATE the series… but I kind of have to thank the series for existing, because otherwise the dress (and the exponential number of knockoffs in the wings) might not have happened, and bridal couture would never include sleeves again.

But Mom, while this was the top of the pops in 1983, it isn’t anymore. And remember how you didn’t want to wear your mother’s wedding gown that looked like this?


And she didn’t want to wear her mother’s Depression era wedding dress, either.

That’s not to say you can’t or even shouldn’t wear your mother’s gown if you really want to. If it’s on offer and you like it and it fits, well and good! That’s fantastic. If it requires a bit of refitting and retooling and your mother is open to that, well, that’s fine, too.

But do keep this in mind: if you don’t want to wear it, you really don’t have to.

You see, there are some moms out there – wonderful, loving mothers with no agenda beyond Doing What’s Best for their daughters – who need convincing of this fact.

In point of fact, I know just such a family. The mother is a lovely lady, but she honestly thought all three of her daughters ought to wear her wedding gown.

The wedding gown from the late fifties was a really pretty one. It was tea length with a lace overlay and a rather spectacular low, wide neckline paired with a fabulously full skirt. Since the mom in question looked a tidge like a curvier Audrey Hepburn, you can imagine how good that looked, too!

The oldest daughter married at eighteen on a shoestring and a prayer. She was delighted to have a gown at the ready that looked okay on her and didn’t cost any money.

The second daughter took very much after her mother in the looks department. I was at her wedding, and she was absolutely gorgeous in her mother’s dress. In point of fact, I can’t imagine a gown that would have looked better on her. It was as if she and the gown were made for one another… much like the lady and her groom.

But the third daughter… she didn’t want to wear that gown. Oh, she could see it was a very pretty gown. And she was a very lovely woman. It’s just that the third daughter wasn’t shaped like her mother. She wasn’t colored like her mother. She and that gown were polar opposites, and she had no intention of wearing that dress, no matter how much of a family tradition it had become.

At her sister’s wedding reception, she actually danced up to me giddy with relief when her brand new brother-in-law managed to put his entire foot through the lace overlay of the gown. With the ruination of the dress, my friend knew she would be free to pick her own gown.

About two years later, I stood proudly in my very early nineties bridesmaid dress as my good friend took her vows with her new husband… in a dress that was entirely her own.

She looked gorgeous.

And I do hope she remembers her feelings on the subject when it comes time for her now teenage daughter to choose a wedding gown.

Let’s take a look at a couple of those things, shall we?

Where are you getting married? Since you can get married almost anyplace you like, so long as you can get a licensed officiant to come and perform the ceremony there, you could have any number of issues or concerns with how your clothes work in that space. If you’re getting married in a grand cathedral, you’ll want a gown that is fittingly grand. By the same token, if you’re getting married in your parents’ living room, too much gown could make it impossible to navigate the space. That’s the sort of wedding where a short gown or a suit makes more sense.

And if you’re getting married in the woods like I did? Trains are probably not a good idea. They get filled with twigs and dirt and leaves well before the day is over.

How big is your wedding? Are you having a huge party for five hundred friends, relatives, and various well-wishers, or half a dozen people closest to your hearts? The more people there, the more gown that’s appropriate.

How is your body shaped? I love a ballgown, but my body just generally doesn’t agree on that. No shoulders, ridiculously high waist… yeah, that whole hourglass thing just doesn’t fit my body. Note that this isn’t about what I weigh. At my lightest, I looked great in a terribly Regency style of gown… and at my heaviest, that’s what I looked good at, too, and at all points between. It’s a question of how your body is proportioned rather than its height or poundage. So be sure to really think about how your body is proportioned and think about what shapes make the most of it. Ballgown or mermaid, sheath or fit and flare, it’s all about what looks good on you.

All whites are not equally becoming. You may have your heart set on a stark white gown… but your complexion may have other ideas. The same goes for ivory, rum pink, ecru, and silver. So think carefully not only about the shape of your gown, but the shading as well. Don’t worry about what it will say to your guests about the state of your hymen, because in a world of fourth and fifth time brides wearing white, I doubt that anyone younger than your great-grandmother thinks much about the erstwhile symbolism of white in that way anymore. And if they do, that’s their problem, not yours. Worry about looking and feeling your best, not other peoples’ dirty minds.

Your comfort matters. Let me repeat that: your comfort matters. Don’t even think about picking a gown if it’s difficult to move in, itchy, or makes you feel like someone you don’t want to be. And while I’m not a huge advocate of covering up scars and tattoos on principle, I think it’s entirely up to you to decide how much of which you show off, and how much you decide to hide. If you’re self-conscious or embarrassed by your scar or mole, or whatever, let the folks at the salon know you want it covered up. If they don’t have anything that will cover what you want covered, find another place to get your gown.

There’s so much emotion involved in getting married, you don’t want the main drama to be about the fact that you’re not comfortable in what you’re wearing.

Your mother, grandmother, sister, cousin, or third bridesmaid from the left is not the one getting married. You are. Look, everyone has an opinion, and some of those opinions do matter to you. In fact, if you don’t care about anyone’s opinion, I’d be a little concerned about your mental state. But when push comes to shove, no matter how much you want to please the people you love, you are the one getting married. You are the one who will stand at that altar pledging your life to one person. In that moment, you’re the one who needs to love how you look.

If everyone can’t agree on a bridal look for you, pick the one you like best.

Just because most women wear it doesn’t mean you have to. Hate strapless? Don’t wear it. Veils make you itch? You’re just as married without one. Heels aren’t your thing? Wear flats on your wedding day. I did, and Mr. Twistie is eleven inches taller than me… plus he was wearing a top hat! Our pictures look great because our photographer knew how to frame them, and we both felt good because we were comfortable in our clothes. Haven’t worn a skirt since your mother made you wear one for your fifth grade class pictures? Pants don’t nullify your marriage or determine the power structure of your relationship. Hate wearing anything white? Go for a serious blast of color. One of the prettiest brides I ever saw wore bright rose pink.

Remember not to blow your entire outfit budget on the dress itself. After all, you will still need shoes, whatever sort of head ornamentation you prefer, and jewelry. You may already have your own shoes or your own jewelry, of course, but most brides are going to purchase these things in addition to the gown itself. Also, don’t forget that your gown will require alterations, and those alterations aren’t for free. Don’t tell the salon that you have six thousand dollars to spend on the gown unless you really can afford the alterations, veil or hat, shoes, jewelry, gloves, etc. on top of that.

You can always opt out. No, I’m not talking about breaking your engagement. What I’m talking about here is that if what you’re dreaming of wearing on your wedding day isn’t readily available at a bridal salon, you don’t have to shop there. You can shop at a department store, fabulous little fashion boutique, eBay, or a funky consignment shop. You can get a custom outfit made just for you by a dressmaker. There are literally dozens of options. If you don’t see what you want, go out and find it.

So take some time to really think before you go shopping. If you walk into the salon knowing what you do and don’t want, it makes it easier not only for you, but for the staff of the shop as well. Less time will be wasted on dresses that don’t meet your needs or your tastes.

Believe it or not, I’m not a fuss and feathers kind of gal, for the most part. But I do have a Boho heart and a fondness for ballerinas that transcends the fact I don’t actually care at all for the ballet. In short, I’m a mass of contradictions.

And while I definitely get that this gown isn’t for everyone, I have to go with love. Yes, the crumb catcher ruffles make her look a little like a Christmas cracker, but in a good way, I think. I love the soft coloring and feminine lines. About the only thing I would change is to take off those twee little gloves. The whole thing gives off a confectionary vibe dear to my baking-obsessed soul.

So yeah, love here. What about you?

These… I have to say that I’m not loving most of them, as wedding gowns or even as just gowns. I have no doubt that since they’re Wangs, they’re impeccably made and littered with exquisite details it’s hard to see at this size. Overall, though, they read kind of blah to me. The black on black on black is kind of oppressive and the nude just seems drab and sad. Then again, I think most tulle confections are better served by lighter coloration, such as white or pastels. Black tulle is something I appreciate more as a contrast than a major statement.

So yeah, I’m going with hate here. How about you?