Archive for the ‘Etiquette’ Category

Manolo for the Bride Ahead of Martha for Style

Sunday, September 2nd, 2012

It’s a well-known fact that Martha Stewart is the final word on putting together a gorgeous, classy wedding. She’s written books about it, and publishes an entire magazine on her upscale homespun wedding style. And now on her website, she’s put together a slideshow on the seven ‘new’ ‘etiquette rules’ she has devised.

Funny thing, only one is specifically an etiquette rule and that one was in my copy of Miss Manners from the late eighties in which she points out that hand written invitations are, in fact, even more correct that engraved ones, which are more correct than printed ones. My mother’s pre-war etiquette manual agrees with Miss Manners from the late 1930’s.

Please Don’t Register For This. I’m Not Kidding.

Monday, July 16th, 2012

Every year thousands and thousands of couples head down to their favorite retail stores and take advantage of the bridal registries. Macy’s or Bed, Bath, and Beyond, Target or your favorite olde gifte shoppe, chances are that if you’re getting married soon, you’ll be filling out a form or zapping goods with a little ray gun scanner in hopes that your friends and families will give you items you can actually use and that you will actually enjoy in your married life.

Into the fray leaps Yahoo headlines.

Invitation Math 101

Thursday, July 5th, 2012

(via Wedding Invitations Online)

Invitations are easy, right? Mostly right. They aren’t especially difficult, but sometimes it’s a good idea to take an extra moment to think things through. I, for one, could have taken an extra moment to consider just how many invitations I really needed. I added up how many people I was inviting and… let’s just say that a moment’s reflection would have led to a lot less serious overbuying. What can I say? Math has never been my strong suit. At least I didn’t get too few.

So here are a few tips to help you navigate the math minefield you may not even realize you’ve entered.

Kid Week: Keeping Small Guests Happy

Thursday, June 7th, 2012

Welcome to day four of Kid Week at Manolo for the Brides! Enjoy your stay.

(Illustration via Yuba City Wedding Photography)

There’s an art to keeping wedding guests happy, but it’s really not that difficult once you know the trick: think like a guest. Think about what has made you feel welcomed and happy, and then do those sorts of things. Think about what made you feel bored, confused, or unwelcome and avoid those things. It isn’t 100% foolproof, of course, since where one person finds something charming and inviting… another finds it hokey or off-putting. Still, thinking of the comfort of other people puts you well ahead of the game. A much higher percentage of people will come away having enjoyed themselves if you’ve made their happiness a priority.

The thing is, that goes double with children.

They’re smaller, so their physical needs may be more demanding. They have less patience and stamina, so one needs to consider pacing and opportunities for rest. They’re less experienced, so their concerns about things that are too unfamiliar need to be addressed.

But don’t panic. A few simple choices can help you make sure even your youngest guests feel welcome and special.

Kid Week: To Invite, or Not to Invite

Monday, June 4th, 2012

Welcome to Kid Week at Manolo for the Brides. All week long we’ll be discussing the who, the how, the why, and the whether of having kids at your wedding.

The eye of the beholder is a powerful thing. For instance, that photo above? Depending on who’s looking at it, it might represent adorable kids being themselves in a super cute way… or it might represent imminent disaster costing significant cleaning bills and a possible trip to the ER.

And you know what? Both parties are absolutely right.

Some people feel that a wedding without children present is a hideous affront to the institution of marriage. And there are also people who feel that allowing a single child to attend makes a mockery of an adult celebration.

And you know what? Both parties are absolutely wrong.

Your marriage is taken neither more nor less seriously depending on whether you have children in attendance. The legality and spiritual significance do not change one iota depending on whether you have a flower girl or not.

In short, it’s an issue of preference, nothing more.

So if it’s just a matter of preference, how do you decide if you’re on the proverbial fence?

Two Wedding-Related Articles That Make Twistie Go Ugh!

Friday, May 25th, 2012

See Priscilla Chan, now married to Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook? See that ring on her finger? Yeah, apparently it’s too small and not diamond enough for The Daily Mail. Oh, and Zuckerberg clearly didn’t spend enough on the ring. You see, from one blurry photograph a jeweler estimated it might have run roughly $25,000, and that simply isn’t enough, you know.

In fact, the Mail seems highly offended by nearly every aspect of the couple’s low-key wedding, from the bride’s off the rack dress, to the sentimental choice of the brand of chocolates they shared on their first date as a wedding dessert.

Me? I firmly consider such decisions on the part of people who didn’t consult me in the matter very much Not My Business. If pressed, though, I think it’s nice that they valued sentiment over pomp and circumstance. I think it says a lot about them as a couple that Zuckerberg designed Chan’s ring, and chose something culturally significant in her background as a Chinese American to symbolize their love. I think it’s their money and they are entitled to spend it (or not spend it) in the way they choose… and I would still say that if they had thrown a massive bash to put Kim Kardashian’s lavish wedding to shame. I think how disappointed I would have been had I been forced to accept a ring at the outer limit of Mr. Twistie’s available budget rather than the ring that means so much to me simply to make people who aren’t us not snark.

To attempt to guess the price tag of the bride’s ring is crass beyond expression. To then attempt to shame the couple for holding the celebration they prefer is hideously offensive. Nobody was harmed in the creation of this wedding. In fact, the few details that have come out have frankly impressed me. Not because of the price tags or lack thereof, I hasten to add, but because it’s clear that they made their decisions based on a combination of sentiment and their personal preferences. They wrote their own vows, he designed her ring, they served food from two of their favorite restaurants, and their beloved dog walked the bride to the altar.

Just because a couple has money doesn’t obligate them to spend it on a wedding that will then make the Daily Mail chastise them for not sending the money to feed starving children or blast them for being so hypocritical as to want a party for a significant life change. Because you know what? Whatever they did, some media outlet or other was going to poke fun at them or shake an angry fist at them. When you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t… do what feels right and most authentic to you.

But while the Mail was pointing fingers and laughing at a couple for not wasting money on a celebration they didn’t want, the Telegraph ran a story on a terrifying and hideous new wedding accessory that would have The Manolo crying AAAIIIYYYYY! and begging for a cold compress for his feverish brow as he retires to his tastefully decorated chamber: bridal UGGs.

Yes, UGG has released a line of bridal footwear which is simply their usual comfort over style footwear only embellished with sequins and honking rhinestones. Oh, and a rather frightening pair of furry flip flops that I was concerned might eat my feet through the computer monitor. Don’t believe me? Check this out:

UGG. The most appropriately-named shoe company in the world.

How Miserable Is It to Be a Bridesmaid?

Friday, May 11th, 2012

(Illustration via MamaMia)

The sad lament of the bridesmaid is well known in song and story, and urban legend, and bridal reality shows, and popular movies… and the list goes on ad nauseum. Nearly every woman I’ve ever known has had a horror story in her back pocket about being a bridesmaid – whether her own experience or one a friend of a friend read about in a magazine once upon a time – to tell anyone who announces her engagement or that she’s about to attend a bride. There are websites devoted to ridiculing horrible bridesmaid’s dresses past. There’s currently an article up on MSNBC about how rotten – and incredibly expensive – it is to be a bridesmaid.

But how bad is it really?