Manolo for the Brides

Reader comments have been unbelievably fabulous lately, so I thought I’d share a handful here in case there are actually people out there who haven’t given in to the impulse to explore popular opinion.

Alex said:
If you want to donate to charity, that’s wonderful and generous of you. Please don’t make the decision for me. It is in no way shape or form a favor or gift for me. Don’t get me wrong, I think donating to a charity you believe in is great and I think people have their hearts in the right place…I’m just not sure why exactly it has to be announced to me, you know?

Innkeeper Jason said:
Sometimes these doubts are seeds that have been planted by other people and sometimes it is just nerves and sometimes perhaps you are marrying the wrong person. For those of you who have called it off, I applaud you for the courage it must have taken.

Toby Wollin said:
Actually, my favorite periods are up through about the mid-60s: you could still get a dress with a decent neckline, sleeves, and interesting skirts and waists. Once you get into the 70s it was Gunnysack Hell, and then straight down the road to the Strapless Follies. If I had to make myself a bridal gown today, I’d go straight to the vintage pattern folks and look there.

C* said:
If any of you have purchased (or been given) any diamond jewlery between Jan. 1, 1994 and March 31, 2006 check out Diamondsclassaction.com and file a claim to get a refund from the lawsuit against DeBeers. Apparently they had an illegal monopoly on diamond sales during those years (is that really surprising at all?).

When it comes to wedding favors, there’s one important thing to keep in mind: unless it’s a consumable, most of your guests will either leave them behind or junk them quickly. Over the years I’ve taken home more than my share of plastic doves, personalized wine glasses, tiny implements like flashlights that don’t actually work, and other assorted useless bits of flotsom and jetsam. Most of them got kept for a few puzzled months and then finally tossed in the trash…though I do still have a couple wineglasses with the names of couples I barely know sitting in my cupboard. They don’t get used, but I can’t quite bring myself to simply toss them and nobody wanted them at our last garage sale. No, I wasn’t surprised, but I gave it a shot.

Over and over again, it’s been made clear that if you want your favors to be a hit, then it’s best to give a popular kind of candy like chocolate. I’m all for chocolate, of course. I love it. It’s tasty, it’s sweet, and it’s nearly universally popular. But there are some other options you may wish to consider.

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At my aunt’s wedding in 2006, the individuals charged with decorating the reception space scattered a great many faux rose petals indoors and outdoors. The plastic petals that landed on carpet and tile were easily swept up at the end of the event. As for the fate of those that landed outdoors…who can say? My guess is that they blew away in the wind and found their way into some sorry gutter somewhere.

Not exactly the environmentally friendly choice, eh? For outdoor tossing, you’re better off going with something like fresh or freeze dried rose petals, lavender buds, or “ecofetti,” a biodegradable, water soluble confetti wedding toss created by Ecoparti. The third option flutters gently to the ground like traditional confetti, but can be hosed away or left where it falls to be cleaned up by the next rainfall.

Ecofetti is the new safe and accepted wedding toss with no cleanup worries. Water-soluble and completely biodegradable confetti - either hose it away or let nature help with the cleanup…The perfect alternative to rice or birdseed, no slipping or staining, and ecofetti flutters easily to the ground. The vibrant colors are lighter and fluffier than the pastels - the pastels look more like colored rice!

I’m of the opinion that dried petals are best because they’re natural and relative easy to fish out of one’s bodice after landing in inappropriate places, but if you’re dead set on something more confetti-ish you could do worse than ecofetti.

What did your guests toss at your nuptial celebration?

I officially finished the first draft of my book last night–it was technically already done as of this past Sunday, but then I was reading it over, which meant there was a lot of, “Oh my gosh, what was I thinking using that word” and “This sentence has just got to go.” It has been a looooong two months, but there have been some nice little surprises to lessen the load.

Last week, I was lucky enough to receive some samples from Placetile Designs, which brightened my day considerably as my mail usually consists of nothing but mortgage insurance adverts and coupon booklets. I received some of these:

And one of these:

Company founder Kristin Bowen came up with the wonderfully clever idea of using erasable ceramic tiles as place cards and favors at her own wedding in 1999, and her guests loved them. The concept evolved to include all sorts of neat things, like wine cork place card tiles, menu tiles, napkin ring tiles, table number tiles, tiles for identifying foodstuffs, and a bunch of other lovely stuff you can write on with dry erase markers. So far, the wine stoppers are at the top of my potential book release party favors list.

For bigger, complicated receptions where there will be lots of attendees who don’t know one another, place cards (or at the very least, table numbers) are a must. I’ve always personally preferred place cards that double as favors or are integrated into favors because I like when everything in a tablescape has a definitive purpose. I’m envisioning a table with a erasable table number tile and wine stoppers or tags printed with guests names. If the bride and groom send the table number tile home with a guest, it automatically becomes a to-do list tile. Such is the beauty of being able to erase and rewrite.

On the off chance that the stuff from Placetile Designs is a little out of your price range, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. You can decorate your own erasable tile place cards and table numbers using the instructions here. Be aware, however, that you need to find tile that works like a dry erase board because some tile will hold onto the marker permanently. Check to be sure that what goes on can indeed come off before you buy bulk tiles, then go nuts with the paints!

It’s hot and the weather report says it’s only going to get hotter. So why am I stuck inside with nothing but a desk fan and three needy cats to keep me company? Mostly because the money is good. But that doesn’t stop me from dreaming about an island paradise somewhere where I can wear a sarong in good conscience and put a flower in my hair. If your perfect wedding sounds something like that, why not get in touch with Island Importer? They will custom make your oh-so-tropical nuptials dreams come true with custom bridal and bridesmaid dresses, menswear, and accessories.

The Day’s Aside: Want to sweeten up your guests on the day of your wedding without spending big bucks? Incorporate Jelly Belly flavors that match your wedding colors into your favors. Me, I would have gone for toasted marshmallow and buttered popcorn, but I’m gross like that.

You surely already know that I am no fan of the ubiquitous Jordan almond. Sometimes, however, presentation is everything. A trio of rock hard candy-coated almonds in a scrap of tulle? No thanks. Rock hard candy-coated almonds sewn into a flower made of ribbon and lace and other dainty things? Well…alright. Confetti Flowers takes its name from the word “confection” and features a goodly selection of fanciful ways to present guests with tooth-bustin’ almonds.

Be warned, however, that some of these faux blooms do not come pre-packaged. While most are assembled as shown by a “bomboniere specialist,” others require a certain amount of cutting, stuffing, sewing, and embellishing.

I think, were I a sweet-toothed guest receiving such an intricate favor, I’d feel rather guilty about tearing it open to get at the candy within!

Ah, DIY. What a pain in the behind, right? I’m not going to lie to you and say that your decision to make your own favors, bouquets, and so forth isn’t going to seem like a huge mistake now and then. But if you gather the right materials and tutorials beforehand, DIY doesn’t have to be entirely painful.

I just picked up a copy of Beaded Weddings: 75+ Fabulous Ideas for Jewelry, Invitations, Reception Decor, Gifts and More and I tell you truthfully that even a klutzy dunce like me can complete the projects in this book. Author Jean Campbell no doubt had people like me in mind while compiling the directions for things like adding beadwork to a plain veil, creating beautiful beaded embellishments for candles and cake cutters, making comb headpieces from scratch, constructing wedding-ready jewelry out of simple components, and prettying-up your nuptial decor with…you guessed it…beads.

A lot of books of this ilk (I’m talking about the hundreds of craft books out there) are obviously meant for the experienced DIY’er. Beaded Weddings is one of the few exceptions, as it contains step-by-step instructions for making matrimonial schwag that beginners can easily follow. From cake toppers, to centerpieces, to invitations, to tiaras, every project outlined in the book is accompanied by directions so specific even I can follow them. The first sixteen or so pages are dedicated to the why’s and how’s of threading beads, stringing beads, materials, wire cutters, and more.

The illustrations and color photographs are a big help. You wouldn’t know it, but making a pair of earrings or a pearl headband is pretty darn simple when you can consult figure drawings that tell you exactly how to place the beads, which direction to twist the jewelry wire, what knots to use, and how to secure any loose ends. No more paying the big bucks for simple drop earrings!

Now, a while back someone suggested I create a tutorial explaining how to embellish the edging on a veil. And I’ve gotten plenty of e-mails from readers wanting advice regarding DIY projects. Well, let me tell you, you’d be way better off buying this book (or one like it) because I definitely have my limits where handicrafts are concerned.

With all of the destination weddings I keep hearing about, I can’t help but ask myself how I’d feel if I were a guest forced to sit underneath the hot sun in 90 degree weather while waiting for the ceremony to be over and the refreshments to begin. Darn cranky, that’s how I’d feel. To all the brides- and grooms-to-be planning outdoor weddings in the summertime in hot climes, let me be the first to suggest (again) fans as favors. Your loved ones will thank you.

But you shouldn’t settle for just any old fan. Nostalgic Victorian Paper Memories features an array of unique, beautiful, and utterly sentimental “personal cooling devices” that will help your guests avoid succumbing to heatstroke on your big day.

Hey, fans are neat. Apparently, back when carrying a fan was as mandatory as wearing a hat, ladies in the know employed a full range of fan gestures that allowed them to speak their minds while saying nothing at all. According to Nostalgic Victorian Paper Memories, ” The first ‘Language of the Fan’ was registered with the Patent Office in 1879. Eventually advertising booklets, lovers’ manuals, and playing cards carried “secret” codes.” Codes such as:

The fan placed near the heart: “You have won my love.”

Half-opened fan pressed to the lips: “You may kiss me.”

Hiding the eyes behind an open fan: “I love you.”

Opening and closing the fan several time: “You are cruel.”

Fanning slowly: “I am married.”

Fanning quickly (or carrying the fan closed, hanging in the left hand): “I am engaged.”

Twirling the fan in the left hand: “You are being watched.”

Holding it in the right hand: “Yes”

Holding it in the left hand: “I would like to know you”

Dropping the fan: “I would like to be your friend”

Twirling the fan: “Go away”

Twirling the fan in the left hand: You are being watched.

Opening and shutting it: “You have been unkind”

Tapping it with one finger: “My mother (or chaperone) says no”

Opening it wide: “Shall we meet later?”

Touching the fan to the cheek: “I love you”

If the notion of spending about seven bucks per fan doesn’t phase you, the embossed and laminated fan above will give your guests something to chat about while they wait for you to appear at the start of the aisle. Sure, a simple faux sandalwood fan or paper fan will do the job, why not let friends and family cool off in style?

An easy way to get around the need for both place card holders and wedding favors involves combining the two. Pretty pewter picture frames can hold cards with guests’ names. As can some stylized candle holders, though I, for one, would be nervous putting paper so close to fire.

Here’s another cute idea for couples that love to cook. Mountain Woods recipe card holders can hold place cards during the wedding and recipes forever after. I would not say no to one of these if I were a wedding guest…as someone who bakes frequently, I can appreciate the value of recipe cards that do not get soaked in splatters of egg yolk.