How Young Is Too Young?
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009By Never teh Bride
In my day, I’ve seen flower girls refuse to walk down the aisle and ring bearers burst into tears. I’ve watched them fidget in pictures, toss their baskets and ring pillows to the ground in irritation, and steal handfuls of wedding cake before the bride and groom had a chance to cut it. I would never suggest that children and weddings don’t mix, because I think the right kind of wedding can be a lot of fun for the wee ones. But when it comes to participating in the wedding? Then I’m a firm believer in age limits.
As cute as flower girls and ring bearers can be, many don’t have the patience or the stamina to handle certain matrimonial activities. Think dealing with an empty tummy while the wedding photographer takes posed shots or standing for an entire wedding ceremony. Even walking 50 feet alone in front of 100+ grownups can be a scary experience for shy kids. Not to mention the fact that weddings can be a little overwhelming for introverted children or (especially?) children kept up past their bedtimes.

But all that aside, there’s also the issue of age. Does the two-year-old flower girl understand what’s going on around her? Can you guarantee that the three-year-old ring bearer won’t be scared of the officiant in her black robe of the photographer with his bright flash? Will the infant attendant coo contentedly as she is carried down the aisle but scream bloody murder as soon as the ceremony begins? Tiny tots are by their very natures unpredictable. They may look like little gentlemen and little ladies in their ring bearer suits and flower girl dresses, but their minds are far from mature.
You tell me:
My vote: I’d recommend choosing flower girls and ring bearers who have at least some understanding of the role they’re being asked to play in your wedding *and* the confidence to play that role well (i.e., without tears or tantrums caused by anxiety or fear).












