Manolo for the Brides

When our own delightful and wise NtB posted on the question of children at weddings the other day, it got a lot of response. Some people were pro-kids-at-weddings-no-matter-what. Some came across as definitely not caring for kiddies at the shindig. Most seemed firmly agreed (as are NtB and I) that it’s entirely up to the happy couple to make that decision based on their preferences and circumstances.

But as NtB pointed out in her article, part of the decision should be based on how kid-friendly a wedding you plan on having. There may, indeed, be those paragons of childish virtue who can sit still through a twelve-course formal dinner happily chowing down on fois gras and fanciful eggplant dishes while wearing perfectly unwrinkled tafetta gowns directly after a full nuptual mass and three hours of formal photographs…but let’s not kid ourselves that this is standard. I was a remarkably patient little one with an adventurous palate and a real fascination with weddings blessed with parents who would punish the hell out of me without hesitation if I misbehaved badly in public, and I couldn’t have done anything like that. Heck, it would still take some serious mental preparation for that and I haven’t been a child in a painfully long time.

If you do plan on inviting the little ones, you need to keep their needs in mind. Here are a couple thoughts on how to do that:

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Like pretty much everyone who’s ever weighed in on the subject of flower girls here at Manolo for the Brides, I believe in dressing little girls like little girls. They’ll have almost an entire decade to wear pants with posteriors emblazoned with words like Hottie — I mean, of course, the ten years between “totally inappropriate” and “Oh my gawd, dress your age” — so why parade them around in miniature bridal gowns?

The trend toward mature flower girl garb gets even more disturbing when the tiny models are done up to look like lot lizards and made to give bedroom eyes to the camera. If you don’t think it’s more than a tad creepy, I expect I’ll be seeing your mug on To Catch a Predator some time in the near future.

Here’s the thing: When I was but a tiny tot, I would have killed for a miniaturized grown-up dress and some Tammy Fae makeup, but I had this annoying personage in my life colloquially known as “mom.” Boy did that chick ever cramp my style! There I was, wanting nothing more than to dress like a twenty-five year old, with a legal guardian who kept me in OshKosh B’Gosh. I could have used a few more dresses, but that’s neither here nor there.

So what should a bride and her littlest attendant’s momma do when confronted with all of the oddly tight ‘n’ slinky flower girl dresses out there? They should keep their eyes open for quality alternatives, of course! Here are four gorgeous girl-sized frocks to get you started:

Traveling clockwise from the top right, you see a silk dupioni dress with a square neck bodice and short princess sleeves from Petite Parfait, a luminescent taffeta sleeveless knee-length dress with flowers at neckline and hem from WaWa, an iridescent long dress with sash and flower accents from Winnie Couture, and a tulle and midori silk shantung sleeveless knee-length dress, also from WaWa.

Last I checked, flower girls serve no other purpose than to lend their cute-itude to the nuptial proceedings. Why age them prematurely? It pays to outfit them as beautifully and sweetly and innocently as possible. After all, when they look good, you look good, too.

We’ve talked about weddingish regrets more than a few times here at MftB, and it truly is a bittersweet exercise. On one hand, it’s fun to keep looking at favors and frocks and flowers when one has no reason to buy them. On the other hand, it can make one question decisions already made…choices that can’t be taken back.

Now, when I start thinking “oh I wish I’d done/bought/used such-and-such a thing” I just plan a fabulous house party that incorporates all those products and ideas. Favors aren’t just for kiddie birthdays and weddings. Brides don’t have a monopoly on fresh blooms. And there’s no reason not to dress to the nines if you feel comfortable in a gown…the trick is learning to feel comfortable in a gown when everyone else is wearing slacks. Master that, and you’re golden!

The number one thing I wish I’d known about would have to be Bluefly. I didn’t start seriously thinking of this shop to end all shops as a source for reasonably priced, re-wearable bridesmaids’ garb until after I’d had a pickle of a time badgering my own ‘maids into picking something, anything, because we’re really getting down to the wire, here. Maybe telling them to go to Bluefly would have made everything easier for everyone…then again, probably not.

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Is it just me, or is a strapless dress just a teensy-weensy bit inappropriate for an older flower girl or younger junior bridesmaid. I’ll admit that I’m shite at guessing people’s ages, but the girl wearing this frock just seems a bit underdeveloped for this particular look.

If you’re wondering, this is one of the Jasmine dresses from Kirstie Kelly for Disney Fairy Tale Weddings. The site describes it thusly: Floor length, strapless A-line gown. Pleated bust with embroidered beaded trim on empire line.

That’s all well and good, Kirstie Kelly, but there’s just one problem. There is no bust there! When you put ruffles like that on a grown-up gown, the ruffles create a sort of shelf for whatever bosoms happen to be extant. Grown-up gals know about things like double-sided tape and Nippies. Little gals know a whole lot of nothing about that sort of thing.

So tell me Kirstie Kelly…What happens if the poor girl in the picture bends over? Sure those ruffles look stiff in the photo above, but they look a lot less like the unencroachable barrier they out to be in the picture below.

During my childhood and youth, flower girls wore different colors of dresses, different hairstyles, different shoes, and carried different flowers, but they all had one thing in common: they were dressed as little girls.

If they wore white dresses, they were simple and designed to flatter a small child’s figure and often had colored sashes. More often they wore pastel dresses that toned with the bridal party. Make up? Didn’t happen, unless it was a tiny dab of clear or pale pink lip gloss.

When did we start turning flower girls into the brides in Tom Thumb Weddings?

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A great deal has been written about the duties and obligations of members of the bridal party. Less, however, seems to have been written about handling them so they are still your friends once the birdseed and rose petals have been swept up and life returns to normal. Here are a few tips to help you be remembered as the best bride ever by your nearest and dearest.

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Once an engagement is announced and a date set, the burning question of bridal attendants must be decided. This is often a bone of contention in wedding planning. How many should you pick? Who should be Maid of Honor? Is your three year old cousin really too young to be a flower girl? What about your slightly awkward twelve-year-old niece whom you adore? Is there a role for her? Do you really have to have your snotty sister in the wedding party? Can you put your foot down and tell your intended that his friend who still thinks fake dog poo is hilarious cannot be Best Man?

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As was discussed in my recent post about the well dressed pate, it isn’t always easy to find classy, upscale headgear. I myself have a larger than average head and am often dismayed to find that I cannot squeeze into the nicer off the rack hats I come across. Now, let’s fantasize that you’re to attend or participate in an outdoor wedding in a traditionally hot clime in the height of summer.

What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

One infrequently explored option is the parasol — perhaps infrequent because we’re NOT all lucky enough to have a well-stocked parasol shop nearby. But if the only thing holding you back is the inconvenience of finding a pretty umbrella to provide you with the shade you need to survive, Bella Umbrella is about to come to your rescue.

For the bride, an ecru lace canopy with a light wooden handle.

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From the e-mail archives comes a question about flower girls from my lovely friend S. Consider this post a shout out to raincoaster and Glinda, editors of our blogging family’s new addition, Teeny Manolo!

I was thinking about Manolo for the Brides the other day when I was with my sister and my daughter looking for flower girl dresses. Katie is in my sister’s wedding and we are all slogging through dress hell. Mine is ordered and thankfully NOT orange. In fact, it’s wine and, if hemmed, could actually be worn for other occasions, which is good as it cost almost $200.

Katie was kind of freaked about the dresses, which were all puffy and dainty. She was getting worried she might end up looking like a cupcake. At eight years old, she seemed almost too old for the dresses we found, until she picked this totally sophisticated coffee colored dress. It seems so odd to me that flower girls are made to look like wee brides (ew) or cupcakes. Though I had a flower girl at my own wedding, I did not delve too deeply into just what the heck this traditions means. Can you offer some clarification?

–S.

So, flower girls. Gosh, aren’t they just so cute when they are creeping down the aisle? When they aren’t absolutely petrified of walking alone through a sea of extremely tall staring strangers, that is. The Beard and I made sure that our flower girl — his niece — was walking toward someone she knew and had a reserved seat so she could sit down after releasing her load of dried rose petals. She wore this embroidered taffeta dress:
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