Manolo for the Brides

In my day, I’ve seen flower girls refuse to walk down the aisle and ring bearers burst into tears. I’ve watched them fidget in pictures, toss their baskets and ring pillows to the ground in irritation, and steal handfuls of wedding cake before the bride and groom had a chance to cut it. I would never suggest that children and weddings don’t mix, because I think the right kind of wedding can be a lot of fun for the wee ones. But when it comes to participating in the wedding? Then I’m a firm believer in age limits.

As cute as flower girls and ring bearers can be, many don’t have the patience or the stamina to handle certain matrimonial activities. Think dealing with an empty tummy while the wedding photographer takes posed shots or standing for an entire wedding ceremony. Even walking 50 feet alone in front of 100+ grownups can be a scary experience for shy kids. Not to mention the fact that weddings can be a little overwhelming for introverted children or (especially?) children kept up past their bedtimes.

But all that aside, there’s also the issue of age. Does the two-year-old flower girl understand what’s going on around her? Can you guarantee that the three-year-old ring bearer won’t be scared of the officiant in her black robe of the photographer with his bright flash? Will the infant attendant coo contentedly as she is carried down the aisle but scream bloody murder as soon as the ceremony begins? Tiny tots are by their very natures unpredictable. They may look like little gentlemen and little ladies in their ring bearer suits and flower girl dresses, but their minds are far from mature.

You tell me:

My vote: I’d recommend choosing flower girls and ring bearers who have at least some understanding of the role they’re being asked to play in your wedding *and* the confidence to play that role well (i.e., without tears or tantrums caused by anxiety or fear).

Remember that truly atrocious flower girl dress I posted about a while back? The one with the netting skirt filled with faux flower petals in a color that could be described as “sick” or perhaps “dead?”

I think this is what it’s supposed to look like:

Better, right?

There was a visible pseudotrend a while back that had moms and dads (and moms and moms and dads and dads) waiting to get married until their little one(s) were born. I call it a pseudotrend because I think plenty of people get married after having kids for a variety of reasons (health insurance, issues with school, circumstance, etc.), but the idea just kind of crawled into the public consciousness only fairly recently — thanks, celebrities! I’m kind of a traditional girl myself, but I figure that people get married when they want, why they want, and that’s okay by me.

The result of the pseudotrend in my social circle was the appearance of tiny, tiny flower girls and ring bearers. I’m talking about flower girls and ring bearers only just able to walk. You’d watch them sort of wander down the aisle and wonder if they’d make it. Would they lose their already shaky grip on the tools of their trade?

If you decided to reverse the usual order of things and got kids out of the way before tying the knot, think carefully before including your itty-bitty little guy or gal in the wedding party. Some very young tots find being stared at by rows and rows of grown-up people quite disconcerting — many a toddling flower girl and ring bearer has made tracks in the opposite direction rather than walk down the aisle unassisted. For those brides and grooms who simply must include a baby or toddler, I’d advise having someone familiar to the kid carry them down the aisle, perhaps one of the bridesmaids or groomsmen. Or not. The middle ground involves giving your son or daughter (or baby nieces, nephews, and such) a title and a symbolic role. You dress them up, include them in the photos, and parade them around, but they don’t actually have to do anything other than sit around and look cute… something I know from experience that babies are very, very good at!

And on to Inspiration for Ashley #3!

My two nieces will be flower girls! I’m not sure about their dresses yet – I am thinking about HAWT PANK and SHAWKING PURPLE (they are two and almost 4, and SO SO CRAZY INTO PANK AND PURPLE) – but I know beyond doubt’s dark shadow that they will both be wearing silvery angel wings on their adorable little backs. Because what good is a wedding without little girls wearing angel wings?

As easy as this sounds, there are definitely more pastel flower girl dresses and white flower girl dresses than there are flower girl dresses in colors one could describe as either hawt or shocking. Luckily, a number of online dress shops offer all of their designs in custom fabric choices. In other words, if they carry the fabric, you can get a dress made from it.

Pegeen, for example, offers most of its flower girl dresses in any one of 200 colors. I believe the color above is called “Boing.”

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Whether or not to include children in your wedding party and/or guest list is a purely personal decision. I want to make it very clear that if you choose not to include kids, I’m not going to make any sort of attempt to change your mind. Make your day adult, and have a great time with it.

If, however, you’ve decided to include children in your celebration, whether as guests or as participants, there are a few things you may want to consider in making your plans. After all, you want them to have a good time…and you want their parents to have a good time, too.

Don’t panic. It really isn’t that hard to do. If you follow a few simple tips, even your youngest guests and attendants will remember your day fondly.

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After yesterday’s disaster of a flower girl dress, I thought we could all use a flower girl chaser (think a unicorn chaser with less horn and more grin).

There’s something undeniably uplifting about flower girls — if they’re happy to be ambling down the aisle, they’re adorable and if they’re just a little afraid to walk the walk, that’s even cuter. Here are four uber cute satin tea-length ball gown flower girl dresses from David’s Bridal, of all places:

Hopefully these will wipe the sight of that other flower girl dress from your mind!

Got some netting? How about some dead rose petals? Then you, too, can make yourself a flower girl dress like this one:

Forget Me Knots Bridal describes this flowery frock thusly: Satin bodiece (sic) w/petals in tulle skirt. I would describe it by saying “Ew” and then asking how exactly netting can get melanomas. As flower girl dresses go, this one definitely earns my hatred, which is a pity considering how many cute flower girl dresses there are in the world today.

What say you?

The ongoing trend in flower girl dresses is white, shiny, and sashed. I cannot say that the image of the tiny tot decked out in satin and organza is a tired one, for who can tire of that particular brand of charm? However, with the economy being what it is, some brides and grooms are changing the way they think about… well, just about everything associated with weddings. As Twistie and our wonderful commenters pointed out in Saturday’s post, it’s now de rigueur to think way outside of the wedding box when it comes to buying wedding accessories and wedding garb.

In that vein, have a peek at these little girl dresses from Shabby Apple. Though these adorable dresses not white and furthermore are made from cotton (specifically Amy Butler cotton?), a flower girl in one of these colorful creations would make quite the splash at an otherwise monochromatic springtime or summertime wedding. Each dress costs about $30 (making pinched parents happy) and is durable enough to be worn again and again (making dress-obsessed little ladies happy).