During my childhood and youth, flower girls wore different colors of dresses, different hairstyles, different shoes, and carried different flowers, but they all had one thing in common: they were dressed as little girls.

If they wore white dresses, they were simple and designed to flatter a small child’s figure and often had colored sashes. More often they wore pastel dresses that toned with the bridal party. Make up? Didn’t happen, unless it was a tiny dab of clear or pale pink lip gloss.

When did we start turning flower girls into the brides in Tom Thumb Weddings?

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A great deal has been written about the duties and obligations of members of the bridal party. Less, however, seems to have been written about handling them so they are still your friends once the birdseed and rose petals have been swept up and life returns to normal. Here are a few tips to help you be remembered as the best bride ever by your nearest and dearest.

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Once an engagement is announced and a date set, the burning question of bridal attendants must be decided. This is often a bone of contention in wedding planning. How many should you pick? Who should be Maid of Honor? Is your three year old cousin really too young to be a flower girl? What about your slightly awkward twelve-year-old niece whom you adore? Is there a role for her? Do you really have to have your snotty sister in the wedding party? Can you put your foot down and tell your intended that his friend who still thinks fake dog poo is hilarious cannot be Best Man?

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As was discussed in my recent post about the well dressed pate, it isn’t always easy to find classy, upscale headgear. I myself have a larger than average head and am often dismayed to find that I cannot squeeze into the nicer off the rack hats I come across. Now, let’s fantasize that you’re to attend or participate in an outdoor wedding in a traditionally hot clime in the height of summer.

What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

One infrequently explored option is the parasol — perhaps infrequent because we’re NOT all lucky enough to have a well-stocked parasol shop nearby. But if the only thing holding you back is the inconvenience of finding a pretty umbrella to provide you with the shade you need to survive, Bella Umbrella is about to come to your rescue.

For the bride, an ecru lace canopy with a light wooden handle.

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From the e-mail archives comes a question about flower girls from my lovely friend S. Consider this post a shout out to raincoaster and Glinda, editors of our blogging family’s new addition, Teeny Manolo!

I was thinking about Manolo for the Brides the other day when I was with my sister and my daughter looking for flower girl dresses. Katie is in my sister’s wedding and we are all slogging through dress hell. Mine is ordered and thankfully NOT orange. In fact, it’s wine and, if hemmed, could actually be worn for other occasions, which is good as it cost almost $200.

Katie was kind of freaked about the dresses, which were all puffy and dainty. She was getting worried she might end up looking like a cupcake. At eight years old, she seemed almost too old for the dresses we found, until she picked this totally sophisticated coffee colored dress. It seems so odd to me that flower girls are made to look like wee brides (ew) or cupcakes. Though I had a flower girl at my own wedding, I did not delve too deeply into just what the heck this traditions means. Can you offer some clarification?

–S.

So, flower girls. Gosh, aren’t they just so cute when they are creeping down the aisle? When they aren’t absolutely petrified of walking alone through a sea of extremely tall staring strangers, that is. The Beard and I made sure that our flower girl — his niece — was walking toward someone she knew and had a reserved seat so she could sit down after releasing her load of dried rose petals. She wore this embroidered taffeta dress:
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I tend to spend so much time thinking about gifts for grownups that when it comes time to show the kiddies some love, I’m plum out of ideas. For birthdays and so forth, I like to stick to educational gifts, but when it came time to pick something out for my wonderful little flower girl, I chose pearls. Not every five year old goes in for jewelry, however. Er, especially not the boys…

Luckily, there is plenty out there for those whose flower girls and ring bearers would rather munch on a cookie than read a book about their nuptial responsibilities. Weddingish has a neat selection of gift baskets and other stuff for the little boys and little girls who will be accompanying you down the aisle. Cute, no?

(Oh, and by the way, ya’ll got it right yesterday. I loved the dress on the right with its pretty, lacy straps and plunging neckline. The one on the left with those weird sleeve things? Not so much.)