Well, I’m sure we all know by now that guests are under no obligation to give a newlywed couple a gift that is equal in monetary value to the cost of one or two plates at the reception dinner. In fact, guests are under no obligation to give brides and grooms any gift at all – though it’s not nice to abstain.

Neither is it appropriate to ask for money or specify that it will be a wishing well wedding in your wedding invitations. It’s alright to have a card catcher at the reception but you should never expect people will feel inclined to include cash with their cards.

Can you tell I’m still in an etiquette centered frame of mind?

Luckily, the rules for guests when it comes to gift giving are relatively simple. Guests should send their gifts ahead to the residence of the MOB and FOB or to the home of the bride- and groom-to-be. Likewise, gifts can arrive just after the invitation is received or a bit after the wedding has taken place.

Guests who want to know if or where the couple might be registered can ask someone in the wedding party, a relative of the couple getting married, or individuals who are helping out with the planning. But, according to Beau Coup (and Miss Manners), choosing not to utilize the registry is in no way unmannerly.

Some people may still prefer the element of surprise when giving a gift, or might have something personal in mind to give to the couple. A gift should be a token of affection, and is not intended to pay for the wedding. However, to not send a gift altogether is in poor taste. Depending on your relationship with the couple, the gift can be small, or something more substantial.

As you can no doubt imagine, cookbooks, like Everyday Italian: 125 Simple and Delicious Recipes, remain a popular choice.

If your bridesmaids are stressed, why not treat them to breakfast in bed? This totally sweet gift basket includes pancake mix, gourmet apple maple breakfast syrup, Ghirardelli rich and creamy double chocolate hot cocoa, strawberry preserves, Gavina coffee, Canterbury cuisine tea and scone mix, sweet apricot preserves and golden Ceylon tea. It also comes with the tray so your girls can replicate their b-i-b experience in the future.

Thinking about buying your groomsmen cufflinks? Dataceptionist sent me a link to a wonderful cuff link resource, Hot Cufflinks. They ship their wares all over and, boy howdy, is their selection of merchandise diverse. You’ve got your alphabet cufflinks, your Scrabble cufflinks, your animal cufflinks, your comedy cufflinks, and more. At under thirty bucks a pop, you can’t go wrong. Heck, buy extras and slip ‘em to your grandpa. He’ll love ya for it.

Finally, if you can’t possibly squeeze another cup, plate, or bowl into your cupboards, and are overwhelmed by family and friends asking for your registry info, why not send them to a charitable registry? Reader Lee pointed me toward a Salon Broadsheet discussing two charitable registries benefiting the newly renovated Bowery Mission Women’s Center in NYC. Send your pesky loved ones to Bed, Bath & Beyond (#1718811) and Gracious Home (in-store only, #639), and enjoy the warm glow of their generosity.

Say goodbye to jarred elbows and soaked shoulders. Reader Teaqa pointed me toward this silly but ultimately useful gift for newly engaged or newly married couples: The double umbrella. I can’t tell you how many times The Beard and I have jockeyed for position under a largish yet still inadequate umbrella. I think this umbrella, which opens to a generous 44 x 36 x 24″ and is available here, would make a lovely engagement or shower gift, particularly for those brides and grooms living in rainy climes.

For those couples who want to stay dry but are afraid of the looks they receive while carrying the two-for-one umbrella, there is always the gigantic GustBuster Gold golf umbrella. It’s more than big enough for two.

If you’re like me, commemorative scrapbooks make the to-do list but usually get relegated to the very bottom. With work, family fun, and social obligations, who has time to learn to write with a calligraphy pen? Or, more importantly, to plan and execute an attractive scrapbook? Not me, that’s who.

Thus, I’m absolutely tickled by veteran bride and bridesmaid (and Let-Me-Tell-You LLC founder) Karin Sella Sloan‘s keepsake scrapbook gift sets. Her unique Bride-to-Be and Me & My Honey scrapbook sets streamline the scrapbooking process by letting future brides and married matrons fill in the blanks.

The former “makes it easy for friends and family to complete a personal scrapbook with wedding wishes and advice in a one-of-a-kind gift for a bride.” The latter (pictured below), which commemorates not only weddings, but also honeymoons and anniversaries, helps couples to “record their life’s adventures, from engagement, through first dance, favorite honeymoon meal and every major anniversary and milestone thereafter.” Easy peasy!

I love, love, love that it comes in a suitcase. How cool is that? Especially for people like me who prone to dropping things, losing papers, and generally making a mess of things. I’ll be buying myself one as soon as The Beard gets around to putting a ring on my finger…which I trust will be any day now. No, really.

And here’s another reason to visit the Let-Me-Tell-You web site: It features a page of downloadable games for brides, grooms, and their friends, as well as fun wedding-related top ten lists and wedding planning resources!

When it comes to placating a ready-to-brawl bridezilla or an overwhelmed bridesmaid, there is nothing like a trip to the spa. But while we’d all love to grab our best friends and head off to Canyon Ranch for the weekend, it’s not always possible. If you’re me, it’s only possible when someone else is footing the bill. The next best thing, of course, is buying The Beard a ticket to the big game (in a totally obvious ploy to get him out of the house) and inviting everyone over for facials and frozen margaritas.

Someone–you know who you are–was recently awesome enough to buy me the
Joey New York Hawaiian Spa Body Kit It’s full of good stuff like Seaweed Body Wash, Coconut Oil Body Moisturizer, Hawaiian Pineapple Hand, Elbow and Foot Cream, and White Chocolate Body Shimmer. Uh, yum? Why can’t they make these things edible? Anyway, it would make a super sweet gift for bridesmaids-to-be or for a future bride who wants a beauty pick-me-up but isn’t quite solvent enough to take a weekend trip to Canyon Ranch.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go get my spa kit and my blender ready because it’s Friday, baby!

Nowadays, when more brides and grooms than ever have plenty of china, kitchen gadgets, and linens, it has become increasingly difficult to find wedding gifts that stand out. While a nice fat check is always appreciated, some people loathe giving monetary gifts for their simple impersonality.

XperienceDays (also known as XD) offers a unique solution to your gift-giving quandaries. They sell gift certificates that will have the bride- and groom-to-befloating in zero grav over Florida, learning to tango in California, staying in the Mandarin Oriental in New York, driving Formula One race cars in Nevada, or learning to pilot a helicopter in Pennsylvania.

While XD may not have the perfect gift for your timid cousin Sally and her vanilla beau, you’ll find plenty of gifts great for extreme brides and grooms* who make a habit of living on the edge. When I get married, I hope someone buys me the Dogfight for two. Nothing says true love like an intense airborne battle!

*Or moms! Mother’s Day is approaching fast!

I think a lot about my future wedding. Okay, I’m obsessed with my future wedding. And I’m not even engaged yet. Go figure. I kept getting distracted today wondering what I’ll toss to all the single ladies if I decide to carry a fan instead of flowers. Anyway, since I’m an organic kind of gal, I often think about organic wedding options. Earth-friendly birdseed. Free range chicken. A natural fiber gown. And, of course, natural beauty solutions.

I really, really like Juice Beauty stuff because its made with organic ingredients – you know, stuff you can pronounce. I happened to stumble across this hydrating facial kit that can help brides-to-be prep their skin for the big day. It could also make a fabulous “little something” for future brides to give to their best girlfriends when the wedding is on the horizon and tensions are getting hot.