Manolo for the Brides

No, not a lot of duct tape like that, you pervs. I mean there will probably be a lot of duct tape on the man registry* that will precede what some are calling the newest trend in weddings, the man shower. Googling “man showers” — see what I do for you? — brings up plenty of results, which could indeed point to a growing trend. EXCEPT that almost all of the results lead to a single AP article reprinted in papers across the U.S.

The gift-laden dude you see above is Brian Wigand, whose FFIL Jonathan Morris welcomed him into the family by throwing him a man shower as a warm up to, not a substitute for, the traditional bachelor party.

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As a guest, I tend to tune out wedding speeches unless I’m familiar with both the object of the speech (i.e., the bride or groom) and the speech giver. Listening to 45 minutes of daddy waxing on misty-eyed about his little girl’s swimming trophies for 45 minutes a la Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason tends to put me into a fugue state wherein I eat far too much cake and the champagne in my glass keeps disappearing mysteriously.

The bride and groom, however, are typically quite interested in what everyone has to say because they are the ones being talked about! I know that I was particularly looking forward to the best man’s speech at my own wedding because he’s such a tremendously sweet fellow and I was hoping he’d say something nice about me or us. Let it be known that he did not disappoint, and the air was full of Awwws and little sniffs the whole time he had the mic.

Of course, he wasn’t the only one to take a stab at wowing the crowd, but he was indeed a tough act to follow. The Beard’s mother told a story about car thievery, and an uncle of mine saw fit to remind everyone that he’d changed my diapers when I was but a wee lass. I even vaguely remember one of my brothers getting on the mic to tell assembled loved ones that he’d met The Beard in Nam and that we’re both “slick ballers.”

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Unless this is your first time reading MftB — in which case, welcome! — you know that I’m a HUGE advocate of exploring alternative wardrobing options. As tempting as it is to head straight to David’s (if you’re on a budget) or a fancypants upscale bridal salon (if you’re not), why limit yourself? There are great wedding-y dresses at tons of shops, online and off!

Ideally, the guys in your life should also take my advice to heart. While I am a big fan of Men’s Wearhouse because their service tends to be uniformly excellent, their tuxes tend to leave me cold. When it came time to help The Beard pick out duds for the dudes, I decided to start my search anywhere but on the mainstream menswear sites. The end result? We found these great striped suits for about a hundred bucks each. Just shy of zoot suits, they added a touch of…something to the wedding lineup.

The lovely Toni recently e-mailed to share some snapshots of a wedding she attended and dish about the menswear. The guys sourced their tuxes from Volcom, of all places. If you don’t already know, Volcom is a clothing company/entertainment site/surf, skate, and board collective whose tagline is “youth against establishment.”

It’s also definitely not the first place I’d look when choosing wedding-y menswear, but after seeing the photos Toni linked to I wouldn’t knock it. You also can’t beat the price — I found the tux pants for $60 and the tux jacket for $77 $110. The fit is modern (i.e., slim and kind of slouchy) so it won’t appeal to everyone, but if your guy is hoping to find NOTHISDADSTUXPLZ it may be just what he’s looking for.

The point is that the alternatives aren’t always what you’d expect or where you’d expect them to be, but they’re out there, nonetheless! Searching for them is particularly worth it when you’re on a budget, you know you definitely want something that’s a little out there, or you’re just not feeling the stuff you saw in the shops. Like I say in iDo: If you can imagine it, chances are good that someone, somewhere is selling it.

Not one, but TWO (!!!) instances of nuptial tasing were recently brought to my attention. The first involves a Californian groom who was tased by police after adopting a “fighting stance” when police were called in to investigate a too-loud reception. The second…well, see for yourself.

Last I heard, bachelor parties involved great quantities of booze with slightly smaller quantities of boobs. A group of men in Knox County, Maine apparently thought the usual pre-wedding rituals were simply too ho-hum, and decided to switch things up a bit. Lucky for us, they videotaped the entire extravaganza!

Unfortunately there’s no way to embed the vid here, so you’ll have to follow the link. I can, however, sum up the party for you: The groom-to-be was tased, handcuffed, tied him up with duct tape, oiled and feathered, and paraded through downtown strapped to a lawn chair.

I cringed watching the antics of what are supposedly grown men–though I have my doubts–and hope you cringe, too. Getting tased is no laughing matter, and yet the entirety of the video is full of the yuck-yuck-yucking of the groom-to-be’s buddies. It’s hard to tell whether the feathered fella is perhaps a Jackass fan and thus into it, but he does seem pretty unsteady on his feet after getting zapped. I vote that he find a new group of friends, stat, and I frankly pity the poor bride-to-be.

If you’re going to spend ages and ages between the ceremony and the reception posing for the camera, why not make it interesting? It’s bad enough that everyone else is off getting their pre-meal drink on at the open bar and chatting about poor Carol, the bridesmaid who just got divorced. Don’t make it worse by slapping on a frozen smile and lazily staring down your photographer. Your wedding album will be much enhanced by your decision to jazz things up a bit when it’s time to say “Cheese,” so try one of these cool poses on for size:

The jump:

From Beth Beljon — and can I just say I LOVE the bridesmaid attire?

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Now that the new year has arrived, flocks of women and men who have involved themselves in upcoming weddings are no doubt rushing out to get the appropriate clothing for the role. If dinky software companies can put their company logo on a t-shirt, so can you.

Have a most wonderful and fulfilling new year, everyone, whether you’re getting married or not!

A great deal has been written about the duties and obligations of members of the bridal party. Less, however, seems to have been written about handling them so they are still your friends once the birdseed and rose petals have been swept up and life returns to normal. Here are a few tips to help you be remembered as the best bride ever by your nearest and dearest.

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Once an engagement is announced and a date set, the burning question of bridal attendants must be decided. This is often a bone of contention in wedding planning. How many should you pick? Who should be Maid of Honor? Is your three year old cousin really too young to be a flower girl? What about your slightly awkward twelve-year-old niece whom you adore? Is there a role for her? Do you really have to have your snotty sister in the wedding party? Can you put your foot down and tell your intended that his friend who still thinks fake dog poo is hilarious cannot be Best Man?

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