Is everyone in this photo on the guest list?

So, unexpected wedding guests. Word on the street is that there are more of them than people thing. And I’m not talking about professional wedding crashers who are just looking for a good time. I mean friends and relatives who RSVP’ed no but decided to come anyway, invitees who never bothered to send back the stamped reply postcard, and wedding guests who arrived at the reception with one, two, or more people in tow. As far as I know, there was no one at our wedding who wasn’t supposed to be there, but since ours was a backyard family affair, I didn’t pay all that much attention once the day got rolling.

If unexpected wedding guests are more common than I assumed, are people taking them into consideration when giving wedding vendors those precious final headcounts? Is it better to pay for a few more chairs, entrees, and slices of wedding cake than to have one to few of any of these things? It’s a question I have trouble wrapping my brain around because I’d never in a million years attend a wedding to which I had not RSVPed or switch my entree choice at the last moment or *gasp* bring a few cronies with me to the reception so everyone could get boozed up on the cheap. But I know not everyone is as polite as I am, hence the poll. I want to know how you’re handling the possibility of unexpected wedding guests and, I suppose, whether you’re anticipating any!

Image: djprybyl

My mom’s wife has this gorgeous old typewriter and I tried to convince them to have a typewriter guestbook at their wedding. It would have been perfect, I think. It was such a small wedding, so everyone could have added their warm wishes on one sheet of paper that could have been tucked into some book somewhere to be found later and read with lots of love and fond memories. But there was some issue with finding a ribbon or some other thing, so it didn’t happen. Booo.

click click click click shrrrrk!

Maybe I can convince you to have a typewriter guestbook at your wedding receptions? The typewriter owners among you, anyway. Or the brides-to-be who’ve been looking for some excuse to buy a vintage typewriter. A wedding! What better excuse? You could even have a typewriter themed wedding! And then later on you can display it in your living room with a nice white sheet of paper and pop over to it whenever inspiration strikes to jot down a few lines. Doesn’t that sound lovely?

For the bride who sews, here are two reception table DIYs that use cute vintage thread spools to give table numbers and place cards a little more ooph. The first comes from Lauren of Lauren Elise Crafted, who loves all things handmade and vintage.

Putting together a thread spool table number like this one involve a wee bit of hand embroidery, a little sewing, and cutting some cork, but that’s about as difficult as it gets.

The second DIY reception project comes from Tracey of French Larkspur and can be found here. The hardest part of creating thread spool place cards is stamping all those letters of all those names, one by one by one. So not really difficult, but a bit tedious.

The results are quite pretty in both cases, and perfect for a garden wedding or a sewing and crafting themed wedding.

I read somewhere recently that one of the next big things at weddings will be the self-serve cocktail bar. Fair enough. But just because something is big doesn’t mean it will be popular with guests (as we learned just yesterday). Personally, I have been to at least two weddings with self-serve cocktail bars, and wasn’t bothered at all. And not just because I had The Beard to fix up my cocktails for me. Both couples had plenty of alcoholic stuff, from beer to wine to liquor, along with mixers and non-boozahol for those abstaining.

Having a self-serve cocktail bar at your wedding reception doesn’t have to mean setting up a bunch of bottles of liquor, an ice bucket, mixers and glasses willy-nilly on a table somewhere near the buffet, though it obviously can. And that is how it was done at one of the aforementioned weddings, though don’t take that as an endorsement since the domestic wine came gurgling out of a box. A DIY cocktails table might have a small selection of pre-mixed custom cocktails in beautiful spouted pitchers. Or you can have a smaller selection of ‘ingredients,’ along with menus telling guests what they can make.

Keep in mind, that having a self-serve cocktail bar at your reception has its pros and cons. On the pro side, you don’t have to spring for a bartender, and you only have to pay for the basics (look into bulk order deals when you talk to liquor store owners) if you keep it simple. And you can take it all back to your hotel if you’re planning a late-night afterparty. On the con side, it’s now up to you to figure out how much of everything to buy, you may have to set it up, and if you’re not having that afterparty, it’s up to you to figure out what to do with all the leftovers. And you won’t necessarily save money on the cocktail supplies themselves, since your caterer may have inroads with discount suppliers.

All in all, the self-serve cocktail bar seems like a simple way to save a little money when it comes to your reception, provided you keep things simple and make it easy for your guests. I like the pre-made mixed drinks idea more than the put everything out and let guests go nuts idea, especially since it seems like there’s a lot more potential for style and individuality on the one hand and a lot more potential for spilled scotch on the other.

Photo by Frank Ross Photographic

A couple days ago, my good friend and compatriot (not to mention partner in crime) Fabrisse sent me a link to an article on Slate. In it, the author, one Daniel Engber, complained about couples failing to allow him a ‘+1′ on invitations to their weddings.

He was horrified when a couple he knew sent him a singleton invitation and refused to allow him to RSVP for two because he had a girlfriend. Now I don’t know how serious the relationship might have been. I don’t know what their living arrangements were. These things do matter in the question. I do know, however, that even if an etiquette mistake had been committed in the invitation, Mr. Engber definitely committed an etiquette goof when he attempted to RSVP for more people than were included on the invitation.

Remember: if your name is the only one on the invitation and there is no ‘+1′ added, you are the only one for whom you can reply.

To apparently add insult to injury, when Mr. Engber’s brother was getting married, the happy couple again failed to ask Mr. Engber to invite a guest along to the occasion.

Now this time he does not mention a steady girlfriend, so I can only guess that somewhere along the line they broke up… or else he thought he might want to bring someone else.
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What would you say about a wedding invitation that makes the guest play a video game in order to get the details on when and where vows will be exchanged? You could say “It’s been done,” but I hope in an inspired way and not a snarky way since a certain Darina and Niko did it earlier this year, with awesome results.

Prospective guests played as either the bride or the groom, and the goal of the game (other than finding out where and when the wedding was) involved rescuing your significant other while avoiding ninjas and gorilla lasers and barrels.

It wasn’t a difficult game – as you can see in the video – but wedding invitation recipients could station right away that they’d never played a video game before and hopefully unlock all the wedding deets without having to get killed by gorilla lasers 45 times.

You can see the invitation packaging over at Offbeat Bride – and I definitely recommend taking a look since the relevant post also includes a link to a site where you can download the original invite and play it yourself. Fun!

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While I personally am an avid reader, I understand that not everyone is, and thus there will be brides and grooms without bookshelves upon which to store a wedding guestbook when it comes to pass that the wedding photo album and the guestbook no longer feel fresh enough to deserve a spot on the coffee table.

Guestbooks that aren’t so much books as they are addresses (and of course good wishes) masquerading as recipes are cute — as are things like this — but where exactly does it live a few years post-wedding? The answer to the question “What to do with our wedding guestbook?” might just lie in ditching the “book” part. While we’re at it, wedding keepsakes could get a bit less cutesy.

Right now I’m loving the stuff at I Do Engravables. When your wedding guestbook is something a tad more practical, you don’t have to figure out where you’re going to put it once you’re too busy living life to keep reminiscing about your ceremony every hour on the hour.

If you’re the sort of bride (or groom) who likes to display things on other things, consider opting for one of I Do Engravable’s engravable platters instead of a guestbook. The special engraving pen that comes with every order works just like a ballpoint (though you may have to have some instructions handy so your wedding guests know that pretty pewter plate they see is actually your guestbook).

Not a fan of plates? No worries! Brides and grooms who just aren’t platter people aren’t left out of the etching funtimes, since I Do Engravables also carries engravable picture frame matting that’s made out of highly polished metal (instead of wussy poster board and fading ink).