Isn’t that a sweet look? Admittedly, it’s unfussy and less-than-formal, but some brides are like that. And a simpler hairstyle can really showcase an elaborate wedding gown and/or bridal jewelry. Then again, there’s nothing wrong with pairing a sweet and simple wedding dress with a pony! Want to see more? There are six awesome examples of bridal ponytails under the cut!

A pretty hand-beaded bridal head piece reminiscent of a lace handkerchief that might be pinned over a woman’s hair in church. Imagine it paired with a vintage wedding gown, maybe one from the 40s.

Cluster pearls and crystals come together in this pretty headband that is like the glamorous older cousin of the Roman civic crown. It works with a variety of bridal hairstyles and can be worn with shorter hair.

How about a romantic bridal aigrette made of elegant ivory Alencon lace instead of a veil? Perfect for the bride who wants something smaller in her hair, but still very striking.

Headbands are a great choice, especially for brides who aren’t sure they have enough hair to pull off a clip or comb. This lovely example is made of vintage beaded applique-medallion with vintage Swarovski crystals.

Yum! Are you opting for an alternative to the traditional bridal veil?

Pretty and fun! What more could you want? And I’m really tickled that at least one of Oh My Deer’s images feature a smiling model!

Among other things (like flower girl basket and ring bearer sets, floral headbands, and bridal bouquets) Dawn and Marie craft gorgeous, amazing, made-to-order hair forks that are perfect for securing a quick and spunky up-do, a classic bun, or a romantic French twist. Yes, hair forks are only for brides with hair longer than shoulder-length, but I think that’s a demo that includes a lot of brides.

Mairzy Dozy hair forks come in different lengths and are entirely customizable – just convo the sisters what you’re thinking of. Their specialty appears to be beautiful hammered copper with delicate hand-twisted wirework, sometimes featuring glass seed beads, jasper coins, and other pretty things. Too bad I didn’t know about Mairzy Dozy hair forks (or any hair forks) when I got married – I didn’t want big blossom or a veil, but something like these would have been perfect. In fact, if I still had long hair, I’d be buying one right now!

I am not ashamed to say I looooove them, especially since they’re not trying to be something they’re not. The feathers are front and center, shaped like flowers, but not trying to masquerade as flowers in any meaningful way. These bridal hair accessories are what they are, and what they are is simply awesome. Nothing big and poufy here or ostentatiously jeweled. Just plain loveliness.

Or maybe not, according to some. What say you?

Hand formed soft fabric roses are paired with glass pearls, Czech beads, semi-precious stones, and brass links to make all manner of bridal jewelry (that is also nice for the bridesmaid or even the non-bride). Apparently, LaVieja Tun Tun will happily custom make a necklace or other piece using your wedding colors, but I’m having a hard time confirming that. I’m envisioning the brighter counterparts of the accessories above on brides who want to add a little more color and flair in their bridal ensemble.

What do you think? LaVieja Tun Tun’s designs are quite chunky and can dominate. Too much? Just enough?

Still, in reaction to comments like that, a tiny piece of me wanted to go out and get a buzz cut.

I didn’t, though I’ve had one before and rocked it pretty well, actually. But that gives you an idea of just how much it annoyed me to be informed that only long-haired women were welcome at the altar.

The attitude seems to carry on to this day, too. In a google image search for ‘short-haired bride’ I found three measly pages of images. In one for ‘short hair’ + ‘bride’ I got a lot more pages…and at least 90% of them were of long-haired brides. One image presented for my consideration was of Nicole Kidman’s wedding to Keith Urban, where his hair wasn’t exactly short, either. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against long hair on a man. In fact, Mr. Twistie’s hair has been considerably longer than mine numerous times. It’s just that wasn’t what I was looking for.

What I was looking for was images of brides rocking the short locks and looking fabulous – particularly if they did so while not adding hairpieces or making faux long styles. Well, I found a few. These I pass on as inspiration to brides who wear their hair short and don’t want to grow it out for the wedding.

First off, what could be prettier or more feminine than a sassy birdcage veil and a smile as wide as all outdoors? She’s striking in the best possible way. Simple, sleek hair doesn’t need to change. Just add an accessory that shows it off to its best advantage.

Or, there’s this more traditional veil worn low on the head. I’m surprised at how much I love this look, but I really do.

Of course you don’t have to wear a veil. I didn’t, and I’ve always been completely happy with my choice. Maybe you prefer a jeweled headband and a touch of added volume to your hair.

Or you might prefer to keep your volume at the same level and add the less expected touch of a feathered headband. I don’t know about you, but I’m really taken with this one.

Of course you can do the traditional flower in the hair, even if your hair is far from traditional. That heather spray makes me smile, and so does her gloriously spiky do.

Short hair doesn’t mean you won’t look like a bride. It just means that you’ll look like a bride with short hair. Take good care of it in the weeks before your wedding, make sure you get a really good cut, and accessorize in a way that makes you happy. Then smile and have a wonderful wedding!

I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard brides-to-be say things like “I’d do X if it weren’t for Y.” Usually, the X is something like “wear a wedding dress that shows off my killer tattoos” or “serve a gluten-free vegan reception dinner” or “hire a bouncy castle for my adults-only wedding.” The Y is most often “my family,” though it is occasionally “society’s expectations.”

Every bride-to-be and groom-to-be… okay, almost every bride and groom… pays tribute to the conventions laid out by culture and religion and familial traditions, even if they don’t realize it. Social expectations are like advertising — we’re exposed to them our entire lives, in the conversations we hear and the media we see and the stories we’re told. Unless one lives the extremely examined life, it can be difficult to know where societal conventions end and where one’s own desires begin.

There are two ways to get around this, however. The first is to ask yourself why you want what you want. Here’s the disclaimer: There’s nothing wrong with wanting the big white princess dress to your wedding ceremony any more than there’s anything wrong with wanting to wear a neon green sailor suit to your wedding ceremony. Whether you want to wear the gown or the suit, consider your motivations. Maybe you’re leaning toward the gown because you’ve been taught that brides wear wedding gowns. Maybe you’re leaning toward the suit because you want to show everyone how truly anti-establishment you truly are. White dresses or sailor suits might just be your thing, you may discover that your true tastes lie somewhere in between. Lime green wedding gown, anyone?

The second way to get around the influence of convention is to seriously consider the random ideas that pop into your head when planning your wedding. Let’s say your brain says “How about a groom’s ‘cake’ made of your fiancé’s favorite candy bars!” Before you write that idea off as silly, consider whether it might be a fun addition to your dessert table. Maybe your brain says something like “I want to do the hokey-pokey as my first dance!” Think about it — do you really? If you do, stop worrying that your wedding guests will think it’s weird. First dances can be pretty boring, honestly, and I’d love it if the bride and groom started shaking it all about on the dance floor.

Just recently, I’ve read about a Halo-themed wedding, an all-black pagan wedding, and musical underwear for brides-to-be from Syria. Manolo for the Brides has featured sushi wedding cake and cheese wedding cakes. I’ve seen blue-haired brides, seriously tattooed brides, and brides on bikes (motor and otherwise). I have to assume that these brides faced at least some opposition to their choices, whether in the form of outright disapproval or quiet tsks from well-meaning relatives thinking “But she’s so pretty, if only she would…”

Yeah, well, I hate the break it to the detractors, but she, i.e., the bride-to-be, is so pretty anyway, whether she decides to drive a tractor to the ceremony or dye her hair to match her shockingly pink bridesmaids’ dresses. Keep that in mind if you’re planning your wedding and you’ve found yourself thinking “I’d do X if it weren’t for Y.” Heck, keep it in mind for the rest of your life! Sometimes doing X just isn’t feasible, but sometimes the only thing keeping you from doing X is that pesky Y.

Want to keep more YOU in YOUR wedding? Remember that when it comes to choosing a wedding dress or ceremony accessories or vows or reception venue or transport or most of the other stuff associated with weddings, it’s more often than not perfectly appropriate to say “I respect your opinion Y, but I’m still going to do X.”

(Note: The pic above came from Allebach Photography in Philly. Call 610.539.6920 if you’re interested in wedding photography or a trash the dress session.)

I’m a regular reader of your blog and was wondering if you could help me out. I’m getting married at the end of September and want to wear a cream-colored “flower” in my hair, to match my dress. Problem is, what I find is either something from the WIC that’s eighty bucks, or a shoddy-looking fake “silk” blossom that is 1.99 at the craft store. Can you help me find a pretty off-white fake flower for my hair, for less than forty dollars? My hairdresser says it doesn’t have to have a barrette – if it has a stem, she can weave it in.

I feel Kate’s pain, even though I when I was getting married it wasn’t flowers but rather hair gems I sought. Everything truly elegant was way out of my price range, and everything in my price range looked like it had come from a girls bracelet making kit from the Toys ‘R’ Us. Eventually, I let my hair stand on its own, which was more than fine because my stylist was truly a wizard.

Now, anyone looking for faux blooms should learn a little background and a little lingo before hitting the shops. Today’s silk flowers typically aren’t actually made of silk…except when they are, in which case they may cost you a pretty penny. The reason so many fakies look so awful is that they’re made of cheap polyester. Even worse, they are sometimes embellished with things like rhinestones and plastic water droplets.

For blooms that look as nice close up as they do from far off, search for “real touch” or “natural touch” flowers. At present, they’re not that easy to source, unfortunately, and buying just a few is sometimes impossible.The good news is that they’re not hugely expensive, but you might have to eat some shipping costs because they’re easier to get in the UK.

I searched a bunch of floral shops, eBay, and Etsy, and my favorite real touch flower by far is this one:

This clip comes from Mikiye Creations, which carries a large selection of beautiful accessories crafted from semi-precious stones, metals, freshwater pearls, Swarovski crystals, silks, and feathers. The real touch rose above is approximately four inches across and is meant to look and feel like the real thing.

While Kate did say she’d be happy with either a clip-on blossom or a stem, I thought a clip would be more comfortable. I worked with faux flora before my own wedding, and I found the stems themselves to be pointy and not quite as flexible as I might have liked. Better to stick with a clip than to spend one’s wedding day being poked in the head by a rogue bit of plastic!

Not that there’s anything wrong with dressing in red, white, and blue. In fact, a smart nautically-inspired suit that makes one think that one might like to travel back in time to the 30s can look chic and sharp! Generally, however, I think I’d prefer to wear my reds, whites, and blues separately or in groupings of two to avoid any erroneous implications. I say think because my everyday uniform is black on black with a little touch of black.

For those who can pull off color or the lack of it without looking like some crazed she-beast, here are three luscious frocks — two from Nicole Miller and one from Vera Wang — that could conceivable be used to send a message like “I love America” or “Why settle for something from David’s Bridal” or “Hey, I’m not afraid to grab two friends and make a spectacle of myself on a patriotic parade float.”

Looking at this gown lineup, I can even imagine some bride-to-be who loves her country very much dressing her bridesmaids in red and blue…hey, I said I could picture it in my head, not that I would actually suggest someone actually do that.

Happy Fourth!