Every now and again, a story comes along that really exemplifies what a good marriage is. The December 20th edition of the Yellow Springs News Online brings us one of these tales in their profile of Ed and Nancy Vernot. Ed and Nancy have not let a little thing like her incapacitating stroke and subsequent move to a nursing home stop them having a marriage many would envy.
Susan Piver, author of The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say “I Do” (a reeeeaaaaally great book), write up an abbreviated list of questions that engaged couples ought to discuss before tying the knot. Some highlights:
Question 2: Who is responsible for keeping our house and yard cared for and organized? Are we different in our needs for cleanliness and organization?
Question 3: How much money do we earn together? Now? In one year? In five years? Ten? Who is responsible for which portion? Now? In one year? Five? Ten?
Question 6: How much time will each of us spend at work, and during what hours? Do we begin work early? Will we prefer to work into the evening?
Question 7: If one of us doesn’t want to work, under what circumstances, if any, would that be okay?
Question 8: How ambitious are you? Are we comfortable with the other’s level of ambition?
Before I got hitched, I made sure to ask The Beard whether he wanted kids and how many he might like to have because I’ve known too many couples for whom the possibility of children became a point of contention. Luckily, we were on the same page. What questions did you absolutely need to ask before agreeing to to commit to your partner?
A foreign groom. A whirlwind love affair in a far off country. A young bride so in love. Sounds like a recipe for your standard romance flick, right? The problem is that the real world is no movie set and some decisions are harder to unmake than others.
The story of Cumbrian newlywed Amy Robson can be a sweet one or a kind of scary one depending on how you frame it. According to the Daily Mail, the 18-year-old bride ran away to Egypt to meet up with a married boatman she’d met on a family holiday a year prior. When he stood her up, she attached herself to an unmarried Internet cafe manager named Noby. She can’t speak Arabic, and he can only speak a tiny bit of English, but that didn’t put a damper on their infatuation.
It still sounds pretty exciting! They’d planned to marry quickly, but Amy’s parents tricked her into coming home to England. That couldn’t stop her, though… She used the meager pocket money she was given to buy a plane ticket back to Egypt. Noby had moved on, but she tracked him down, and their love had transcended the absence they’d both endured. The two lovebirds tied the knot lickety-split, over what I imagine were Amy’s parents’ objections.
But here’s where this love story dips into darker territory: Noby took Amy’s passport from her. He also doesn’t want her to work, which means that she will have to spend her days indoors with other married women. She can’t even walk around without Noby at her side because it’s considered improper and she attracts a lot of attention with her fair skin and blond hair.
I’m not one to poo-poo anyone’s choices…after all, it’s Amy’s life to do with what she pleases. But what sane woman gives up her passport?
