Manolo for the Brides

Weddings… they sure do make chicks crazy, amirite? I’m kidding, of course, but you might assume I wasn’t if you’ve spent any time watching shows like Bridezillas and all the other wacky wedding shows that likely make WE Channel executives oodles of money. The stereotype of the shrilly screaming bride-to-be who needs everyone to know it’s ‘her daaaayyyyyy’ isn’t just a staple of reality TV and Target: Women. Nope, you can find it in fiction, too.

Right now I’m thinking of Bride Wars, which was met with largely negative reviews from critics. As it should have been. You’d think that a chick flick about two friends who are both getting married would feature strong women expressing their feelings and learning about themselves and kicking ass with girl power. Instead, you get a no holds barred chick vs. chick bitchlympics. Granted, the main characters do make up at the end, but they spend a good deal of the movie acting like spoiled bridezillas whose supposedly strong friendship is all but fractured by a clerical error.

Movies like Bride Wars aren’t meant to depict reality, I know, but the whole premise implies that caring independent women are just one wedding mishap away from turning into screaming banshees who will sacrifice their most precious relationships to ensure their ’special daaaayyyyyy’ stays special. It ticks me off and bums me out at the same time, since I know that 99.9999% of the time, brides-to-be are calm, partial to compromise, and willing to roll with the punches… especially when the people important to them are involved.

So did any of you see Bride Wars? What did YOU think?

Want to join the navy, by which I mean the bevy of brides choosing this elegant wedding color over robin’s egg and Tiffany and baby blues.

How about navy blue engagement announcements from My Good Greetings… a chunky cocktail ring from Rumour makes a great bridesmaid gift… and for the groomsmen, navy monogram cufflinks from Eternally Linked… navy blue monogrammed postage from Zazzle is one way to personalize mass market wedding stationery… you can save money on your bridal shoes with feminine flats from Old Navy (of all places)… navy blue bridesmaids’ dresses complement an Oscar de la Renta grosgrain gown in navy and white, while deep blue florals and an almost nautical reception table tie it all together.

Where do I sign up?

We love vintage wedding gowns and vintage-look wedding gowns here at Manolo for the Brides, but what’s the bride who loves retro styles and modern frocks to do? To her I say that it wasn’t all that long ago that brides changed out of their wedding dresses and into something easier to travel in before stepping into their getaway cars and heading off to their honeymoons.

It’s not a practice one sees much these days, of course. I’ve only ever attended one wedding reception during which the bride changed out of her dress before making her exit. In that case, she put aside her bulky gown in favor of a white leather vest and white spandex leggings… if you couldn’t guess, she was a motorcycle mama and was preparing to ride away on her man’s hog. Good times. But if this vintage tradition appeals to you, why not wear a fun and flirty vintage-look dress from Whirling Turban?

Whirling Turban does have some wedding specific designs, though both of these dresses come from their regular stock. The first is made of hand-woven cotton ikat fabric subtly mixed with metallic silver fibers and a sweeping full skirt wrapped around a narrow pencil type skirt that peeps out when you walk. The second is made of the same unique fabric and features a petal bodice with pink contrast and a flattering wrap-n-tie sarong skirt. I like both… too bad I have no reason to buy either!

We sometimes speak (okay, write) here at Manolo for the Brides about wedding professionals. We discuss what to look for, how to know this is or isn’t the professional for you, and how to negotiate getting what you really want. We almost never cover the question from the other side. What is it like to work weddings professionally? How do vendors help steer the clueless and those with unrealistic expectations toward a plan that makes better sense? What do they do when their best efforts in that regard don’t work? And what makes doing what they do worth all the hassle?

It is the tension between expectation and reality that keeps the work interesting. It is also what occasionally – when I come home very late from a particularly horrible event – makes me want to bury my head under my pillow and wake up in a world where weddings no longer exist. But by the next weekend I’m out there again. The truth is I like what I do. And maybe twenty years from now my clients will look at the photographs I took and remember how they felt, not just what things looked like. They might even know by then that the feelings were what mattered. Or maybe they will see where it all went wrong later was foreshadowed in those moments caught on film, when no one was trying to keep up appearances. I’m not a glamor photographer. I’m not a fashion photographer. I’m a storyteller, and the story I tell is the one I see.

Thus ends the introduction of Claire Lewis’ book Exposed: Confessions of a Wedding photographer.

Lewis is – in case you couldn’t tell from that snippet or the title of her book – a professional wedding photographer. She also happens to live and work in my neck of the woods, the San Francisco Bay Area. We’ve never met. I doubt that I’ve been to a wedding she shot. On the other hand, by the end of the book I wanted to invite her over for scones and wedding gossip.

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I’ve only seen two episodes of WETV’s My Fair Wedding with David Tutera. I don’t think I’ll be watching more. Here’s the description on the official website:

Our all-new original series, My Fair Wedding, brings in a dream team, led by celebrity party planner David Tutera, on behalf of beleaguered friends and family members, to transform what could be a disaster wedding into a platinum style affair.

In other words, this party planner and his team swoop down at the last minute to inform brides that their plans make less sense than Ozzie Osborne attempting to read James Joyce aloud to a roomful of otters on speed, changes everything about the wedding (gown, cake, bridesmaid’s dresses, flowers, catering menu, music, yes, even the location) to make it more tasteful. Possibilities are dangled before the bride, but on her wedding day she wakes up not even knowing where she’s getting married, let alone any of the other minor details. You know, like whether David picked the gown she really loved or one that she didn’t particularly like.

And in the tradition of makeover shows that seriously steam my corn, it appears to be the case that it’s a friend or family member who has ratted out the tasteless bride. I’m fine with shows like Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style where the makeover-ee has personally requested the help and is given tools that will aid her in making more flattering style choices that fit her life and personal tastes. My fury knows no bounds over shows like What Not to Wear and How Do I Look? wherein the person being made over is hijacked into the experience, given little – if any – control over the process, and then released into the wild knowing mostly that she needs to pay more attention to someone else’s sense of style than her own.

Guess which sort of show I think My Fair Wedding more closely resembles?

The thing I think I hate most, though, isn’t the hijacking, the lack of control, or even the ritual humiliation of the silly bride who thinks that it’s possible to plan a wedding by herself because she’s laboring under the sad delusion that women do this every day and hey, it’s not exactly rocket science. Don’t get me wrong. I detest all these things with the flaming fury of a thousand avenging vengeance weasels.

So what annoys me most about My Fair Wedding? You’ll have to follow the cut to find out.

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It may not surprise you to learn that I collect wedding books. Hopefully, I’ll never have occasion to marry again, so I can’t exactly say that my bookshelf-busting collection of nuptial tomes is particularly useful. The ones I love best are the ones with lots and lots of gorgeous photographs. Surprising, right?

Here are four wedding books that absolutely take the cake and are a great addition to your collection…even if your collection is made up of a stack of library books.

Southern Weddings is full of pictures of glamorous affairs styled in the southern tradition. It also includes secrets, tips, practical how-tos, and advice, but who cares about any of that when there are soirées to salivate over?

With over 150 beautiful photographs of lavish weddings, Fête: The Wedding Experience is full of inspiration. Even if you don’t have the money or time to replicate everything, you can still cop a few ideas.

The publisher describes Inspirations as “a lush sourcebook of ideas for creating the perfect ambiance,” which isn’t shocking when you consider it’s a Preston Bailey book. Page after page of eye candy will show you how you can use art, nature, and culture to plan a wonderful wedding.

And then there’s Martha. I sprung for a used copy of The Best of Martha Stewart Living: Weddings just to see what was inside. What did I find? Perfect pictures of everything from cakes to guestbooks to bouquets and boutonnieres.

Mmmmm!

Joyful, carefree, and a little bit wild at the edges

8/8/08 is great! For more reasons than one…

Hacking the TwoBirds dress

Marriage is more than just the wedding

There’s just five days left to enter to win The DIY Bride

What does a £500 wedding look like?

The five second rule in action

Waddle Me Down the Aisle

I find it fascinating at how little things have changed since the 14th century

A wedding that’s truly out of this world

Nanny’s etiquette guide

Time warp wives?

Let’s get self-referential here for a minute or two.

My esteemed colleague, Never teh Bride, has recently had her book, iDo: Planning Your Wedding With Nothing But ‘Net, published. She was kind enough to send along a copy to me. Of course we all know that free copies of new books to the media are meant to be review copies…okay, she seemed both surprised and amused when I broached the concept to her, but you don’t send a copy of your latest novel to the New York Times Book Review in hopes that they won’t write it up, and, well, I do write about weddings and wedding planning and wedding goodies for sale. It seemed only reasonable to me that our readers should get the skinny on this volume if not precisely from the horse’s mouth, then from the mule next door.

So what did I think? Click the link and find out. Yes, I’m a tease. What? This surprises you?

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I was recently sent two freebies to review, both of which sprang from the minds of event designers. It’s a common phenomenon — when you live in the world of weddings, it’s not that difficult to envision yourself creating a product that will bring joy to brides-to-be. (Note to companies looking for new product lines: I’m available. Really available.)

First Impressions
The Wedding Book: The Big Book for Your Big Day is indeed BIG. With it’s sweet two-column, multi-color design, it rather reminds me of the many home hack books I was given when I first moved out of my mother’s house. Not a page goes by where some tip of Weiss’ is highlighted in cream or taupe — overall, it’s very dignified. Information is easy to find, and there’s plenty of it!

Deeper Deets
I’ll admit that I had high expectations for this book, because Mindy Weiss is a highly sought-after event planner and “lifestyle expert.” It’s the little details she slips in, like three ways to fold a handkerchief, sample reception menus (Weiss admits that Thousand Island is her favorite dressing), an illustrated gown guide, and multiple wedding timetables make this book stand out among its peers. For those brides who like to jot things down, there are plenty of fill-in tables and blank note pages in the back of the book.

The Verdict
Other than iDo (which still has no reviews on Amazon, hint hint), this is probably my favorite book dealing with mainstream modern-traditional weddings.

First Impressions
I really like the box that envelops the Zinke Design Going to the Chapel gift set because it’s substantial and complicated. You really have to work to get the garter, ring bag, and handkerchief out of that box — I was almost afraid I was going to rip something, but Arin Robinson’s products are auspiciously sturdy. The trio of accessories matches The Wedding Book, which is a little weird in light of this review!

Deeper Deets
The set is made of satin, linen, lace, and the garter is lovely. It combines a ribbon with elastic, which means I can make it as small as my wrist or wide enough to fit over my head. I’m actually wearing it on my head right now. The hanky and the ring bag unfortunately gain nothing from being made out of linen. Both are pretty, but the handkerchief would do little to dry a tearful eye and I don’t know that putting one’s rings in a bag is the best of ideas. This leads me to believe that these items are meant just for show, and I’m a stickler for design that’s lovely AND functional.

The Verdict
I personally would not buy this $92 set for a bride-to-be, but I could see an older female relative doing so. When, exactly, do the rings go in the bag, anyway? Is it meant to be used before the wedding or as an alternative to the ring bearer’s pillow? I’d much prefer to give my hypothetical engaged friend or sister a vintage hanky embroidered with her initials or a handmade ring pillow I sewed myself.