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Sometimes Simple is Better


I don’t know how many of you, like me, are fans of the show Frasier. While I never did really get interested in Cheers, from whence it spun off, I loved the adventures of the Crane family. And, like many, I had a great fondness for the courtship of Daphne and Niles.

Funnily enough, I think what struck me most and made me happiest about their entire love story was that when the Big Moments happened, Niles was usually trying to make them Momentous… and then they just happened quietly, naturally, and in ways that could never have been matched – let alone outdone – by the huge, elaborate plans he originally made.
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Disaster vs ‘Disaster’


Diann Valentine is coming to rescue you! Well, if you had a wedding that didn’t turn out so well, that is. The celebrity planner who has worked for Usher, Toni Braxton, and a host of other famous folk is now doing her WETV series I Do Over to help the hapless whose wedding dreams crashed into a solid wall of reality.

So I watched an episode.

The Santinis had been married for eighteen years (hey! that’s how long Mr. Twistie and I have been married!) but never got over the horror of their wedding day. You see, they hired someone to make the bridesmaids dresses who didn’t get them done in time. She had promised delivery on the day of the wedding to the church… and apparently nobody thought that plan to be potentially fraught with disaster.

The big day arrived, but the bridesmaids dresses didn’t, much to the consternation of all aware of the situation. For some reason passing all understanding, when the bride’s grandmother began foaming at the mouth about having the bridesmaids wear the groomsmen’s shirts, nobody pressed a cold compress to her forehead or called the paramedics. Instead, they listened to her.
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Psst… I Want a Word With You

Dear Wedding Reality Show Creators,

I’d like a word with you over here, if I may, just for a moment in between your busy schedule of exposing the ‘reality’ of weddings to us all.


Stop it. Just stop it.

What? You don’t know what I’m talking about?

I’m talking about the way brides (and the men you identify as the ‘woman’ in gay male couples) are portrayed in your shows.

It would be one thing if there were truly any variety in how you portray us. Then it would be about individuals. But as things stand, you have two ways of illustrating what it is to be a bride in modern America, and neither portrait is either flattering or accurate to the vast majority of women getting married.
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… And I Wasn’t the Sickest One

First off, I’d like to apologize for the dearth of articles the past couple days. I’ve been down for the count and that fever was making it impossible for me to focus my eyes. I feared the rambling gibberish I might inflict on you all if I attempted to write under the circumstances.

Better now.

But while I was sick, I used the opportunity to scroll through some back episodes of Bridezillas on my DVR. Yeah, I know, it probably didn’t help me get better any quicker, but it’s easier to watch through a fog, I find. Still, there are enough unspoken cultural assumptions in the show that I find it valuable to me as a bridal blogger to watch the painful dog and pony show.

All the same, while I expect a bunch of abusive behavior on the part of the subjects (after all, that’s the point of the show) every once in a while someone comes along on that show who I think isn’t necessarily putting on an act for the cameras. One of these was Johanne.

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Design for a Public Wedding


Say hello to Scott Gornick and David Gorshien. This, as you might be able to surmise through the festive clothes, joyful embrace, and hail of confetti, is their wedding.

Oh, and see that huge head behind David? Yeah, that would be Scott’s boss, Conan O’Brien. Scott is the costume designer for Conan’s show. So when Scott and longtime love David decided to tie the knot while the show was in New York – where their marriage would be legal – Conan offered to marry them himself on the show. One quick ordination by the Universal Life Church later, he was legally empowered to do just that.

The grooms wore fabulous brocade jackets designed by Scott and – in Jewish tradition – were married under a chuppah. The one big question seems to have been which groom would smash the glass at the end of the ceremony. Two grooms, two glasses, no problem.

While the ceremony was largely light-hearted and did include several gentle ribs from O’Brien (You never designed me anything like that!), it was also a serious wedding ceremony. Both men got a bit choked up reciting their custom vows. When Scott vowed to “… fill your every day with so much love” I have to say I got choked up, too.

Go here. Watch the video, if you missed it on television. Bring a hankie.

Scott, David, mazel tov!

Kardashian Marriage Krashes and Burns


It’s official. Just seventy-two days after the wedding, and long before the eternal loop of the encore presentations (remember when they were called ‘re-runs’ and only watched by sad, lost people too tragically unhip to make time for the first airing?) comes to an end, Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from brand-spanking-new husband Kris Humphries.

As is to be expected in cases like this, rumors and blame are rife throughout the media. Kardashian responded with a flurry of tweets denying that she married for the publicity and money (she assures us all the money from her wedding gifts will be donated to the Dream Foundation… though I do believe Miss Manners would council her to consider returning them to the family members, friends and well-wishers who gave them if they are still in good condition, and the last time I checked, cash has a pretty significant shelf life) and assuring us she married truly for love.

“We filmed Kourtney giving birth, Khloe getting married, break ups, make ups, our best moments and our worst moments,” she writes. “These were all real moments. That’s what makes us who we are. We share, we give, we love and we are open!”

… and that’s kind of the thing, Kim. When you choose to live your life so very publicly, people will insist on having opinions about your life. It’s part of the contract. And some of those people will not think terribly highly of you, especially when you have a gigantic, public, media circus wedding followed by a marriage that lasts less than three months.

Kardashian insists that she just got ‘caught up with the hoopla and filming of the TV show’ to the point that she didn’t know how to break off the relationship. And I will say that Kim Kardashian is not the first bride to utter similar words of regret and confusion in the wake of a brief, disastrous marriage. I’ve heard more than one bride say that she really wasn’t sure when she was standing at the altar, but didn’t know how to stop the train at that point.

Look, what you or I think of Kim Kardashian as a person isn’t that important. Frankly, I prefer to think of her as little as her painfully public existence allows. But I think we can all take a moment to learn a Life Lesson from this sordid little tale: if you’re not really sure of the relationship, Don’t Get Married Anyway. A good friend of mine got married anyway. She’s now in the middle of a divorce and bemoaning the ten years she wasted on a marriage that never for one day made her truly happy.

If at any point along the way you find yourself seriously feeling trapped, unhappy, or fearful about being married to the person you said ‘yes’ to, slow things down. If you’re standing at the altar and the words ‘I do’ start to choke you, it’s still not too late. Don’t get married until you’re certain it’s what you want, and this is the person you want it with.

Your happiness matters.

I Do Over


We often say here at Manolo for the Brides that as long as you keep your wedding day in perspective, it’s nearly impossible to destroy. If you keep your eyes on the prize of the result rather than panicking over every tiny detail, chances are you’ll enjoy your wedding for what it is rather than resent it for what it isn’t.

But some wedding disasters are worse than others. While I would advise any bride to forget about a missing bouquet, a slightly embarrassing best man’s speech, or a brief technical malfunction with the sound system… there are some problems that are much more difficult to ignore.

And that’s where I Do Again steps up to make delayed wedding dreams come true. This is for the folks who really had serious disasters happen. This isn’t ‘we couldn’t afford a pretty party’ here. We’re talking weddings hit with hurricanes, venues destroyed by fire at the last minute, participants who had serious medical emergencies while standing at the altar, and seamstresses who make off with every gown for the entire bridal party. This is for serious disasters only.

Event designer Diann Valentine and 1-800-FLOWERS founder Dave McCann choose deserving couples and redo their I dos in grand style. In five days they organize everything to delight the couple and give them happier memories. The second season will be starting on WETV on November 13 at 10pm (9 Central).

So why watch another ‘celebrity planner makes it all soooo much better than a silly bride and groom could’ show?

Well, if nothing else, it’s a great perspective granter. After all, even if a lot of things did go wrong at your wedding, your groom probably didn’t have a heart attack.

Sometimes it’s useful to realize that things could have been a whole lot worse.

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