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Quickie Question: What’s Least Important to You?


(Illustration via Zazzle where you can order this cool shirt, if you like… or not)
When you’re planning a wedding, it’s easy to get caught up in the superimportance of… just everything. But you know what? Not every single possible item is important to every single couple, and that’s okay.

Between chairs and cakes and flowers and dresses and music and lighting and maps and tablecloths… yeah, there are going to be at least a couple that just plain don’t matter all that much to you.

I frankly didn’t care that much about the invitations and maps. If they were reasonably attractive and got the information across, I really wasn’t that concerned about the details of what they looked like. When I found an invitation at my local stationary store that I thought was pretty and it turned out to be discounted, I went ahead and ordered it. I left the maps in the capable hands of Mr. Twistie whose sense of direction and ability to convey messages about distance and where to turn is far, far greater than mine.

I didn’t really care what the men wore. I mean, as long as they didn’t show up in gym shorts sans undergarments and tee shirts with obscene slogans, it didn’t matter much to me whether or not they matched or what it was they did wear. When one of my brothers called and announced if Mr. Twistie didn’t tell him what to wear soon he was going to show up in a kimono and a top hat, I told him that was fine with me, but I would tell Mr. Twistie to get in touch with his guys and tell them what he wanted. A small part of me has always been disappointed that Mr. Twistie actually made the call. I thought the kimono and top hat sounded kind of spiffy.

Flowers and other decorations were a low priority to me. We were getting married in the woods, so I figured I’d go with the decor Mother Nature provided for free, and just add a few bouquets and such. Thirty five bucks at the open-to-the-public florist’s supply and a couple goodies that friends donated from their gardens without any prompting from me took care of everything I needed or wanted.

I didn’t care that Mr. Twistie didn’t want a wedding ring. He doesn’t wear jewelry, so his decision didn’t either surprise or upset me. I asked him if he wanted one, he said no, that was the end of that for me. Funnily enough, a lot of people seemed to have more trouble with that one than I did. I figure that owning a ring wasn’t going to change his attitude about fidelity, so why freak? If I can’t trust him without a ring, I can’t trust him. I do trust him. It’s his hand. He doesn’t want a ring on it. Me? I’m all for any excuse for another ring. But that’s me.

What’s low priority for you? What aspect of wedding planning can you not imagine giving a gnat’s eyelash about?

Quickie Question: What’s Your Dream Bouquet?

Sorry about yesterday. Technical difficulties. They’ve been handled, so we should be good for a while now.

(Image via Hearts and Flowers)
Flowers are usually one of the fun aspects of planning a wedding. They’re colorful, pretty, and hold special meanings for most of us.

Then again, they can be one of the most frustrating aspects of planning a wedding. They’re often expensive, and they hold those pesky meanings which might vary drastically from one person to another.

But we can all dream big. I didn’t, but then I’m sometimes a bit unusual in my tastes and priorities. My dream was simple: find pretty flowers and tie them into a simple sheaf bouquet. Oh, and I did want a couple red roses in it. Why? Because they’re the flower Mr. Twistie gives me and always has from day one. He does that because roses are literally the only flower he recognizes from one day to the next and he knows I love red.

So my MOH and I headed off to the open-to-the-public florist’s supply in my hometown, bought a bunch or two of whatever happened to be long stemmed, pretty to me, and fairly inexpensive along with a roll of florists’ tape and some corsage pins. I had some pretty red ribbon at home to tie decoratively around the sheafs at the end. And BAM! we were done.

In fact, while I’m a lot better versed at flowers than Mr. Twistie, the only blooms I recognized in my bouquet were the aforementioned roses and some lavender snapdragons. I have no clue to this day what the yellow or the pink flowers I carried were. All I know is I carried the perfect bouquet for me. It was the right shape, I thought all the flowers in it were pretty, and it had a couple red roses. If I’d had more money, I might have had someone else put them together, but I would have wanted something very similar to what I carried.

But I’m curious. What sort of flowers do/did you dream of? Will you/did you get them? What if money were no object?

Tell me all about it!

Quickie Question: Engagement Photos?


(Illustration of Deanna Pappas’ engagement photos via Green Wedding Shoes)
Maybe I’m confused, but I have to confess I just don’t get engagement photo sessions.

It’s not like I have a big thing against them. It’s just that I don’t really see the point. Then again, I tend to be camera shy at the best of times. And of course when Mr. Twistie and I were getting married, we didn’t have a budget that included many optional extras… but even if we had, we just plain never thought about engagement photos.

Then again, I’ve seen some really nice photo sessions that sprang from engagements. As I said, it’s not like I have some sort of moral objection. It just never would occur to me to do it.

But I’m curious. What about you? Did you do it? Will you do it? Do you have any strong feelings one way or the other?

Tell me all about it!

Quickie Question: Make a Joyful Noise


This lady? Is the late, great Etta James whose most famous hit, At Last, has become to modern wedding processionals what Pachelbel’s Canon in D was to the same part of the wedding in the seventies and eighties. Miss James, who died last week, lived long enough to see her song become a wedding classic.

Every decade or two, a new tune becomes the It Tune for wedding processionals. Let’s face it, even Wagner’s famous wedding march had to start off as a newfangled and slightly scandalous choice on someone’s part. Now it’s so traditional that an approximately equal number of couples would never dream of anything else, or would never dream of using it. For the record, I fall into the latter category. I don’t care much for Wagner overall, and I really dislike the idea of using a piece of music from such a disastrous marriage as a way to start off a new one.

And after I’d been to roughly sixty bazillion weddings where the Canon in D was played as the processional, I went right off Pachelbel, too. I still, however, have fond memories of the wedding I attended where the bride was a member of a string quartet who gave her the gift of playing her wedding gratis. They brought in a replacement violinist, and did Pachelbel proud. It was a charming choice between the musicians in question and the intimate backyard setting.

I, however, have never belonged to a string quartet, and the brief period in which I attempted reluctantly – and entirely without a natural talent for it – to learn the violin is an episode best never mentioned again.

So when it came time to plan my own wedding, I needed something different. Oh, also, I was being lead up the aisle by a bagpiper, and frankly, none of the tunes I’d heard other brides use was going to sound right on the pipes other than the theme from Star Wars… which my piper would have flat out refused to play.

In the end, my piper suggested a traditional Scottish tune called Highland Wedding, which was pretty, joyful, and composed with pipes in mind. It was perfect. We recessed to another traditional Scottish tune, Mairie’s Wedding. That one was my suggestion. Those choices still make me delighted. Neither was overdone in my set, but both were written to celebrate weddings and traditional in one of my background cultures. I loved the tunes, the musicians in question knew them well, and the guests seemed to enjoy both selections.

What about you? What would your perfect processional/recessional tunes be? Something traditional or not? Something played on a harp or a kazoo?

Tell me all about it!

Quickie Question: Perfect Proposal?

Sorry about yesterday. This is what I looked like then:

I’m doing better today.

Anyway.

With all the talk we’ve been having about proposals of late, I thought I would ask what you think would be the perfect proposal. On the beach at sunset? In front of the fire after a day of antiquing? By flash mob when you least expect it? Christmas morning when you open up a box with the perfect ring that he chose all by himself? Would you want your beloved to talk to your parents first, or go directly to you?

For my part, I don’t think I had any set image of what the proposal would look like. I know that if Mr. Twistie had gone to my father first, I would have been miffed and Dad would have been mystified. I wanted to pick a ring I wanted to wear, and not simply take what was picked for me. In the end, what mattered to me was that Mr. Twistie showed he really was thinking about me. He’d picked a date for our wedding, and that date took into consideration several things about me that mattered. He picked june, knowing I would want an outdoor wedding. He picked the thirteenth knowing that’s my lucky number. And he picked it far enough away that I would have plenty of time to make my wedding lace, as I’d been saying I wanted to.

Was the setting romantic? No. Were the words flowery? Really no. Did that matter to me? Not one iota, amazingly enough. I would have thought it might have mattered more to me, but it didn’t.

So what about all of you? What’s your perfect proposal? If you’re already married or engaged, did it happen at all like you’d hoped? Did it matter if it didn’t? Tell me all about it!

Quickie Question: Advice for New Brides?


When you start planning your wedding, there’s a lot to think about. In fact, there are things to think about that you may not realize need to be considered.

But those of us who have been there in the trenches and come out the other side have invaluable information and advice to give the newbies who don’t even know what they don’t know yet. So I thought I would ask all of you out there to give the best single piece of wedding planning advice you can think of.

Here’s mine: think about comfort. If you think about what will keep you, your bridal party, and your guests comfortable – both physically and emotionally – all through the event, you can’t go wrong. So consider that when deciding heel heights,venues, menus, the sound system and what goes in the vows. If you do that, you can’t go too far wrong.

What about all of you out there in Bridal Land? What’s your best piece of wedding planning advice?

Quickie Question: Which is Most Important to You?


Professionals.

Weddings do usually require some professionals. Many use them for nearly everything short of reciting the vows – and that works for many couples just fine. Others, though, prefer to do most of these jobs themselves, or to have them done by volunteers. Some would prefer to hand it over to pros, but are forced by lack of funds to do it all themselves.

So I’m curious. Of the following list, which two items would you choose to have done professionally if the rest absolutely had to be done by volunteers?

Photography
Catering
Flowers
Set up and clean up of the site
Cake
Making wedding clothes
Music
Decorations other than flowers
Officiant

Remember, there is no right or wrong answer here. There’s only what works for you.

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