I’ve found a few examples of the versatility of copper, just in case you’re undecided on the matter.

(Image via Delightfully Engaged)
Here copper combines with red for a sumptuous, elegant look. It’s rich and warm.

Here a combination of aqua, copper, and old gold makes for a cool yet invitingly stylish look.

(image via One Fab Day)

(Image via Craft Foxes)
Here a copper-colored glass and a mass of kumquats make for a rich, but budget-friendly centerpiece. Click on the link to read more about it and get some great ideas for imaginative, inexpensive decorations from the Craft Foxes interview with Preston Bailey.

Image via One Wed)
But as I said before, copper can be rustic and simple, too. This dessert table is a perfect example of what I’m talking about. It also shows how great copper looks with neutrals.

So if you’re looking for a metallic to add to your wedding colors, don’t forget about copper!

In short, even a lot of people who admired the commitment these couples made to living lightly on Mother Earth wouldn’t be caught dead in a ditch looking – or smelling – like them.

But times have changed. You don’t have to be a card-carrying hippie to care about the environment anymore. and you don’t have to completely reject both tradition and fashion to follow your convictions.


To start with, think about decorations that are consumable. For instance, the centerpiece on this reception table not only looks gorgeous, but feeds your guests at the same time. Bowls of fresh fruit, small platters of appetizers, pretty jugs or pitchers of beverages, candies, or even an attractive cake for the table’s dessert… any of these things will look fabulous, taste great, and save on your budget for fresh flowers and non-organic decorations.

Alternately, consider putting live plants in pretty pots on the tables for decoration.

Really consider how many paper goods you need… and forget about the rest.

Yes, you’ll need invitations and RSVP cards. You’ll need thank you cards of some sort. But think hard about whether you really need ceremony programs. Decide whether you would rather have your guests decide their own seating, eliminating the need for place cards. As for menus, doing without entirely, making only one per table to be shared, or setting up an attractive chalk board for the whole room are all viable alternatives to one at each place at each table.

Oh, and never forget that you can find invitations and all the rest printed on recycled paper.

Second hand doesn’t have to be second best. Maybe someone close to you has the most gorgeous wedding gown just hanging in her closet. Maybe you find a fabulous veil in a consignment shop. Perhaps your aunt has some serving pieces she’s ready to let go. You might even find the perfect ring pillow in a garage sale. Why let these wonderful things go to waste? Give them a home and a second chance.

Remember to check for natural fibers. Cotton, linen, silk, and wool are natural fibers. Rayon is a synthetic fiber made of natural materials. Nylon, polyester, acetate, and so on are not natural fibers by any definition. If you’re going green, synthetic fibers are not what you’re looking for… though if they’re being re-used I won’t tell anyone!

If you have leftovers left over, try to find a green way of disposing of them. In some cases, you may be able to donate leftover food to a local soup kitchen or homeless shelter. If your meal won’t meet the legal requirements, then set out Chinese takeout boxes and invite your guests to take some food home with them. Mr. Twistie and I did this one (though I wish I had thought of the boxes at the time!), and it was a big hit. In fact, we’d seriously overbought food for fear of people leaving hungry, and a couple of our friends lived on leftovers from our wedding for days afterwards.

Keep it real, my friends… but feel free to forget about patchouli and incense. Unless that’s your bag, man.

Me? I wasn’t like that. I’ve known a lot of other brides who were more like me. They spent their wedding days really at their weddings and remember them clearly years later.

You may simply be the sort of person who gets caught up in emotions and forgets the details. It happens. But if your fog or forgetfulness springs from another source, there are ways to get more in touch with the moment and truly enjoy yourself at your wedding.

Plan the day in a way that makes you comfortable. It’s easy to get caught up in what’s expected or listen to someone else tell you what makes them relax. For instance, a lot of guides will tell you to make sure you have nothing whatsoever to do on your wedding day other than get married. For some, that’s great advice. For others, it’s a one-way ticket to nerves and stress. I helped make salads and set up the site on my wedding day, and I wouldn’t do it any other way. I’d have gone bonkers with nothing to do with my hands.

So think about whether doing something practical that day will relax or stress you. Think about whether having someone do your hair and make up for you will make you feel confident or drive you up a tree. Will having the photographer there while you’re dressing make you uncomfortable? Nix it if it will!

You’re an individual. Your stressors may be very different from another person’s. Work around who you really are. Don’t make yourself more stressed than you need to be.

Consider doing formal portraits before the ceremony or after the honeymoon. Mr. Twistie and I had all our formal photos taken before we went to the altar, and I would do it that way again. In China, some couples have their wedding portraits taken up to a year in advance. Still other couples have found it practical to hire a photographer to do candids at the wedding itself, but save up the formal portraits for after the honeymoon. Yet others will take all the formal shots that don’t require both the bride and groom in the shot before the ceremony, and the few remaining ones afterwards.

Any of these scenarios means less of a gap between the time the couple ties the knot and the time they arrive at their own shindig. That means earlier access to food, fun, and your guests.

Have a receiving line. I know a lot of people think this is stuffy, old fashioned, and for the birds, but I still think it’s worth doing. Why? Because it means you don’t miss greeting anyone, and you don’t spend the dinner hour missing the food because you’re hopping from table to table and then tracking down stragglers. If you’re having more than fifty people at your wedding, a receiving line just makes things easier.

Then once the line is done with, you can relax and concentrate on interacting with your guests rather than calculating who you’ve missed saying hello to. You can get the meal you paid for instead of getting two bites before you have to race off and talk to someone you missed. And eating your meal? Helps you keep from getting light headed from hunger. It also helps you keep the alcohol from hitting extra hard on an empty stomach. All these things help keep you in the moment.

Ditch any traditions you don’t care about. Reading over a typical wedding reception timeline can leave you thinking you’ll spend the day running from one photo op to the next with no chance to catch your breath. Funnily enough, most of those traditions and photo ops are entirely optional. If any of them make you uncomfortable, annoy you, or just seem like too much trouble, you are perfectly free to not do them. If there’s something you’d rather do, like hire some belly dancers or a magician to perform, there’s no law against having them. Do what seems like fun to you.

Organize as much as you can in advance, and then put it into someone else’s hands on the day. One of the things that relaxed me the most in the days leading up to my wedding was the fact that I’d crossed my i’s and dotted my t’s and had all the paperwork at my fingertips. When you know you’ve done what you can to make things smooth, it’s easier to believe that it will go reasonably smoothly.

Of course, something will go wrong. It’s the nature of life. So on the big day, have someone deputized to handle all crises and make sure everyone knows who that is. Don’t try to handle every little detail that goes wonky yourself. Go play with your guests and let your assigned deputy – whether that’s a bridesmaid, a relative, or a hired day-of coordinator – deal with missing flowers, the ring bearer’s stage fright, and Great Aunt Beatrice’s dislike of the choice of processional music. You don’t need to deal with those things in the middle of your wedding.

Speaking of things going wrong, remind yourself regularly that perfect isn’t going to happen. If you’re comfortable with the fact that something will go wrong, chances are you’ll deal with it more rationally when something does go wrong.

Whether it’s something small like a bridesmaid in sudden need of an aspirin, or something big like finding the bakery delivered the wrong cake (That actually happened to a friend of mine! But since she was ready for something to go wrong, she decided that the gold frosting fit her color scheme and that the fact it was a fiftieth anniversary cake that would feed her entire guest list was a good omen), if you’re aware it’s coming, you can roll with the punches better. So keep your head and your sense of humor. It will relax you and help you stay in the moment.

While planning things, make sure you take time out to do non-wedding-related things, too. It’s easy to get so focused on menus and seating arrangements and choosing just the right readings for the ceremony that you forget to live your life in the meantime. But if you take time to see movies, go bowling, take night classes, and just hang out with friends, it’s a lot harder to get so completely obsessed that you lose sight of the bigger picture. Sure, your wedding is important. It’s a major life-changing event. It deserves its due importance… but it isn’t everything.

Remember to make time for the other things in your life. It helps keep things in perspective.

When you’re at your wedding, be at your wedding. You’ll have a better time and remember things the photographer didn’t happen to catch with the camera.

Dessert tables are expected to continue to be a big deal in weddings. Variety is the spice of life, and a wonderful way to end a reception meal.

A further wrinkle on this trend that’s on the rise for parties that last late into the night is a second spread of snacks offered to guests on their way out. Doughnuts, cookies, sliders, coffee and cocoa… this is the chance to offer up a tasty final gift to your guests.


Alternatives to flowers are another trend on the rise. Paper, brooches, fabric, feathers… if it can substitute for flowers, someone’s using it. This is a great trend if you’re dealing with allergies or want to DIY your bouquets and centerpieces over time. But real flowers are hardly going anywhere.

More brides have been doing DIY projects for their weddings, and that isn’t changing anytime soon. Whether it’s to save money, add uniquely personal touches, or honor a family tradition, using your own hands to put at least a couple pieces of your wedding together can be tremendously satisfying.

Green is clearly the way to go in the coming year. From invitations of recycled paper to living plant centerpieces, to packets of wildflower seeds as favors, brides and grooms everywhere are getting eco-friendly and loving it.

More weddings than ever are happening in the great outdoors. Whether it’s a garden, a beach, the woods, couples are choosing the sky as the ceiling they prefer. As someone who had an outdoor wedding and loved it, I say go for it… just make sure you have a backup plan in case of inclement weather.

Of course trends are fun, but never follow one if it feels wrong to you. You should do what matters to you.

Just imagine being able to choose whatever flavor of cake you want without regard to anyone else’s preferences because there will be plenty of things for those who don’t like or can’t eat the cake to choose from.

Besides, it’s another fun piece of decor to the room, most of which is provided by the colors, textures, and general delectability of the food on the table top.

But when putting together a dessert table, there are still practical considerations to think about. It’s not just a free for all, and organization matters.


You’ll have to consider, first and foremost, what you can provide and if you’ll be able to get or make enough to go around.

If, like me, you’re a dab hand at baking or candy making, that’s fantastic. But if you’re making enough desserts to feed a couple hundred people, you’re going to need a plan, a budget, and a lot of freezer space. If you don’t bake, or you’d rather not bake for a hundred and fifty hungry guests, or your venue doesn’t allow self-catering… well, you’re going to have to find a vendor you can afford and discuss the matter with that person. They’ll take care of the rest.

But taking it back to the DIY crowd, really consider before you begin how much time you have to devote to the project, and where you’re going to store supplies and finished items until the wedding.

Next you have to consider the practicalities of food that’s going to be left out on a table for several hours. After all, delicious homemade ice cream would be amazingly good at a summer wedding, but only if you have a way to keep it properly frozen. Whipped cream is yummy in the extreme, but it needs to be kept cold, too. You don’t want your dessert table to melt into sludge or become a health hazard shortly after the first dance!

In general, it’s best to stick with things that can be left out safely for several hours. Avoid too many delicate, dairy-based items and don’t dip everything in chocolate if the room will be fairly warm.

Also, think about how things will look together. Do you want a monochromatic look, like this rather spectacular white on white creation by Amy Atlas?

Or a slightly broader range of colors, like this table created by Make Merry?

Think about what sort of serving pieces you’ll need. Do you want them to match? Or would a mix of unmatched pieces be a better fit for your wedding style? And what else will go on the table? At absolute minimum, you’ll probably need a tablecloth to set off the look. Most likely, you’ll need a bit more decoration than that, too. Flowers and/or greenery, photographs in pretty frames, pretty pieces of china… you’re only limited by your imagination and budget.

Make sure you vary the heights of the desserts. You can do this both by the actual sweets chosen (have a three-tier cake, a platter of cookies mounded up as high as they’ll go, or cones full of candy set in a stand alongside flatter items like pies, tarts, or brownies) and by the use of carefully chosen china or forms that raise up some of the platters to another level.

But on a more practical level, you might consider having a small card identifying each sweet and any likely sources of allergic reaction. If you’ve got something gluten-free or vegan or sweetened with agave nectar instead of sugar, certain of your guests may find that information useful. And I’ve been known to vacillate in front of tarts full of jam I can’t immediately identify, lest I find myself with a mouthful of something I really hate. Calligraph the cards or have them done by someone with really pretty handwriting. Just make sure it’s legible, too.

Be certain there are plates, napkins, and any necessary utensils right on hand. That way guests won’t hang back waiting to figure out how to eat the goodies.

Most of all, have fun with it. After all, this is dessert! The entire purpose of it is to be tasty and fun.

Captured by Daniel Usenki Photography

Fact: When it comes to personalizing a reception venue dance floor, options are limited. You can use lighting design to spruce up your party space. Or choose a reception venue with a dance floor that’s a cut above – something like a wood tile floor or light up dance floor. The only other option that comes to mind is the vinyl dance floor monogram, provided your wedding venue of choices allows such things.

But when you’re hauling in your own dance floor, anything goes. Er, within the limits of the local event rental companies’ inventories, I suppose. If I had my wedding to do all over again, I would spring for the dance floor – sandy soil underfoot didn’t exactly inspire booty shakin’ – and furthermore opt for a checkerboard like the one above. Probably wee like the one above, too, since I like the idea of everyone cramming their finely dressed selves onto a tiny checkerboard dance floor outside in the empty air as if that’s only place dancing is permitted. The contrast between the checkerboard floor and nature is fantastic.

Have you thought about your dance floor options? Or is that just too tiny a detail to matter in your wedding planning book?

Wedding lighting design for ceremonies

Lighting is THE single most important visual element in your wedding. More so than flowers, decor, or even architecture and space. Yet, with all of its critical nature, so many brides, and even wedding planners, don’t consider lighting or budget for it at all. If so, it is often looked at as an addendum to the wedding decor budget.

With lighting setting the mood, it should be considered first and foremost once a space is chosen. Here’s why: One can transform any space with light, but one can only augment with flowers or decor.

On the practical side, there are three things that need to be managed when executing a lighting design for weddings:

• The room needs to look beautiful
• The guests have to feel good
• Lastly, the guests, especially the bride, have to FEEL good

Lighting design for receptions, too

So in support of that, here are five things to look for when lighting a wedding:

1. Symmetry - Light everything evenly so that the room looks symmetrical.

2. Intensity - Dim the lights a little less than you think you should. Your eye adjusts to the lower light and it creates so much more atmosphere than you’d ever imagine. Which brings me to my next point:

3. Levels - Dim absolutely everything. Having the ability to dim the lights when the grandparents go home and set the mood for the kids is a pretty important thing to be able to do.

4. Color - Soft beautiful flattering colors (pinks, ambers, honeys and apricots) should be used wherever people are. While we love blue and green to look at, and we often want to go bolder with color, those colors make our skin tones sallow and pasty.

5. Angles - Be super sensitive to light in peoples’ eyes by angling things as vertically as possible. If your grandmother has a light shining in her eyes all night, chances are she’ll go home before the cake cutting.

There is also a 6th consideration, namely your lighting designer. Since lighting is often mysterious and unknown, and the bride and her family are often unable to see the full picture prior to their walking in, (decor, catering, etc. will not yet have been set up) it is very important that your lighting designer really get you and who you are. That’s personality driven and I think it should be considered right alongside talents and portfolios as a critical criteria.

~Bentley Meeker

Are you a wedding vendor who has some insight to share with brides-to-be and grooms-to-be? Send me an email to talk about the possibility of guest posting right here!

Wedding bubbles, as photographed by Paul Craig Weddings of the UK

Simple LOVE/HATE today… let’s get the lowdown on wedding bubbles. I know beyond a doubt that the two-year-old La Paloma is always delighted to attend a wedding ceremony or reception that includes wedding bubbles, much like the little one in the photo above. But I’m wondering what the average adult thinks about blowing bubbles at weddings. Is it fun? Pointless? Should couples just stop buying those little bottles of soap, or are you more likely to shout “Bring on the bubbles!”? Me? I like them because my daughter likes them, but prior to procreating, I don’t think I ever cracked open a bottle of wedding bubbles.

Eating jam, getting centerpieces!

The recipe for this particular low-profile mason jar centerpiece? Take nine mini mason jars per table – easily acquired online or by eating a great deal of jam and cheap pesto in advance of the wedding – arrange in a grid, tie a ribbon around the whole thing, and add water and flowers. DONE. I really wish I’d done this at my own wedding, as the look would have been absolutely perfect and so much better than the messy afterthought arrangements I did have on the tables (boo, hiss!).

And speaking of my own wedding, today just happens to be my and The Beard’s fourth anniversary! Mazel tov to us!

I'll take one of those... and, ooh, one of those!

I don’t have to be invited to a wedding to be interested in the wedding reception menu. There are so many ways to feed your wedding guests, which means that a reception meal might be anything from champagne and cake (with a fruit salad) to, like one wedding I attended while in college, a full sit down dinner in addition to hours of buffet station and passed appetizers that were basically dinner. I’m talking multiple carving stations, pasta stations, bacon-wrapped everything… it was actually kind of surreal.

You may not be serving the kind of American outsized tasting menu consisting of full meals, one right after the other, but I am still curious! What are you serving at your wedding reception – or did you serve once upon a time – and why?