Manolo for the Brides

I tend to think of the items on the common wedding registry as being fairly unisex. Everyone…okay, almost everyone…uses things like plates and glasses, deli slicers, and toolboxes. Then again, plenty of wedding registries I’ve seen have included stuff like iron sconces and votive holders. If you think decorative items are intrinsically feminine, then I suppose plenty of registries do err on the side of girly.

But is the answer a wedding registry designed specifically for dudes? The Man Registry claims to be the worlds first registry that puts the Reggie back into registries. (Hey, you try making a good registry pun!)

TheManRegistry.com is the world’s first wedding gift registry for grooms. We offer hundreds of products geared specifically toward men. The days of men being content with dishes, hand towels, and linens as wedding gifts are over. With The Man Registry, grooms everywhere can pick out the barbecue grills, tools, bar glasses, and electronics they’ll need to start their new marriage.

Three brothers started TheManRegistry.com in 2007 when they noticed that many of their close friends and family were getting married, but too often were registered for gifts that were strictly geared toward the kitchen. Where were the gifts that the groom could get excited about? It was clear that creating a wedding registry tailored to grooms was necessary.

Some of the products listed in their Top Ten include the Black & Decker Cordless Screwdriver and the Pharos Science 3.5 GPS Navigator. Now, correct me if I’m way off base here, but I would say that nearly every single female I know has both a screwdriver set and a GPS. I can’t say I like the fact that The Man Registry is pushing these things as toys for boys and spreading the myth that chicks all lust after hand towels.

I guess I am just not seeing why an entirely separate man-oriented registry is necessary when many department stores have both linens and power tools. Why are grooms-to-be who want to set up a killer bar not simply adding shot glasses and cocktail shakers to their registries? Have their brides truly taken complete control over all gift options, or are they just looking for something to whine about? I feel like the guys who created the Man Registry said, “I know, let’s create a fake problem so we can make money by providing a solution!”

On a scale of one to ten, I would skip the numerical system altogether and rate this site as pretty pointless.

For whatever reason, my inbox has been filled with pitches from newish companies advertising their spiffy online tools designed to make the lives of brides and grooms even easier. But are they really as spiffy as they seem? In an attempt to find out, I started signing up for some of them. I do these things so you don’t have to!

The Wedding Lens: At first I couldn’t figure out why the uploads were so dang slooooooooooow at this photo sharing service, but then I realized that the pics I’d chosen were absolutely HUGE. I’m talking file sizes that my free Flickr account would have rejected, so that’s a mark in their favor. It’s easy to create albums and name photos. At some point, however, it stopped accepting my titles and letting me add photos to sets. Hopefully, that’s just a bug that’ll be fixed soon. What’s spiffy is that your guests can upload the photos they take to your account. What’s less spiffy is the $49 price tag for six months of medium grade service and the fact that they want you to give them your loved ones’ e-mail addresses. Want to try it for free? Enter HOLYMATRIMONEY in the referral code box when signing up for “Gold” service. I’m still not sure what it can do that a Flickr group can’t do.

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An individual going by the mysterious moniker of Again recently shared some nuptial gift-giving wisdoms over at Teeny Manolo.

If they registered only at Macy’s and Bloomingdale’s, well, sometimes I feel a bit touchy about that. Unless you (or their friends generally) are of more liberal means, this always strikes me as rather graceless (but what do I know?). If you can’t afford anything on the registry that is not a single fork or the like, buy them something they would have registered for if only they’d thought of it (a pretty vase, a picture frame in the style of those they did register for, a kitchen gadget which you have discovered and swear by).

Either their other acquaintance are all affluent and will buy the registry out, or nobody can afford it and they will be justly repaid for being inconsiderate to their guests. You are not required to sacrifice your groceries for the month for someone else’s occasion and it is NOT good breeding to imply the contrary. If you are invited to a wedding that will OBVIOUSLY be so expensive as to demand a present you could not afford, I personally think it would be better to find a polite reason to decline.

As tempting as it is to scale up without limits when creating your registry, do give a thought to both those people who may not be particularly well off and those people who are attending your wedding as guests of your guests or even guests invited by your parents.

Your tastes may be grand, and you may see the occasion of your marriage as the perfect opportunity to introduce a little more silver, crystal, and china into your kitchen. Nonetheless, courtesy demands that you append all that high-class swag with a few inexpensive wine stems or a pretty porcelain sugar bowl.

What it comes down to is that you’re vastly more likely to get gifts you want and like when you stock your registry with things from the high end of the spectrum, the low end of the spectrum, and everything in between. Some people–perhaps those who’ve hit a rough patch or those you don’t know terribly well–will spring for the sugar bowl. Others (usually moms and dads and grandparents) will present you with the professional grade deli meat slicer you’ve been salivating over.

Finally, for the love of all things matrimonial, please do not whine and carry on when certain guests give you gifts not on your registry. My stance may be a somewhat unpopular one, but the fact of the matter is that guests are under no obligation whatsoever to look at your wedding registry much less buy something off of it. People managed just fine before the Marshall Fields department store invented registries in 1924, and one would hope that those who know you well presumably have some notion of your taste in housewares.

A. wrote in to ask this titillating question:

I want to have a “Boudoir Bridal Shower,” where my close friends and family shower me with lovely lingerie. I’d like to register for the items that I know will fit and flatter–what’s with all the alliteration–but none of the online department store registries will let me! Once I sign into my registry, all it lets me search for and add are the home items like towels, forks, oven mitts and the like. What is a girl to do? Do you know of any stores that let one register for lingerie? Will it make a difference if I go to the store in person?

At my bridal shower, one of my friends told me that when she was in her 20s, almost every bride would be given a hideously ugly peignoir set by her mother or grandmother. The assumption was that these brides would wear them on their wedding nights, but my friend maintains that most of them ended up stowed away in attics and in basements in their original, unopened packaging. People are so into vintage nowadays…makes me wonder how much you could get for one of those sets on eBay.

Anyhow, I don’t think I’d have the constitution necessary to survive a lingerie shower without dying from embarrassment. I can just imagine the sorts of silly things my friends and relations would pick out for me…especially the more, er, open minded ones. Could I wear something sexy my grannie bought with any degree of seriousness? Would the influx of undies weird The Beard out? I think it would weird me out.

But lingerie showers are growing in popularity as people awaken to the notion that pretty underthings don’t necessarily have to be uncomfortable. To register for lingerie, go to an actual lingerie shop instead of trying to get around outdated department store regulations. Secrets in Lace has a gift registry, though their selection is relatively limited. Victoria’s Secret lets you make a wish list you can share. Then, of course, there is Frederick’s, if you’re looking for something saucier.

All you really need to do is search for “lingerie registry” using Google, as that will help you find scads of online shops that will hook you up. Or you could use an online registry like Felicite, which lets you register for almost anything.

EDIT: Some folks have commented that A. shouldn’t be dictating her own shower’s theme, and these folks are absolutely correct. The individual or individuals hosting the shower should always be in charge of the details…not the bride-to-be herself. However, I opted not to bring that up in my original answer because I simply don’t know if A. is trying to inappropriately take the reigns. Perhaps A.’s MOH asked her directly what sort of shower she’d like to have, which happens more often than you’d think.