Manolo for the Brides

When our own delightful and wise NtB posted on the question of children at weddings the other day, it got a lot of response. Some people were pro-kids-at-weddings-no-matter-what. Some came across as definitely not caring for kiddies at the shindig. Most seemed firmly agreed (as are NtB and I) that it’s entirely up to the happy couple to make that decision based on their preferences and circumstances.

But as NtB pointed out in her article, part of the decision should be based on how kid-friendly a wedding you plan on having. There may, indeed, be those paragons of childish virtue who can sit still through a twelve-course formal dinner happily chowing down on fois gras and fanciful eggplant dishes while wearing perfectly unwrinkled tafetta gowns directly after a full nuptual mass and three hours of formal photographs…but let’s not kid ourselves that this is standard. I was a remarkably patient little one with an adventurous palate and a real fascination with weddings blessed with parents who would punish the hell out of me without hesitation if I misbehaved badly in public, and I couldn’t have done anything like that. Heck, it would still take some serious mental preparation for that and I haven’t been a child in a painfully long time.

If you do plan on inviting the little ones, you need to keep their needs in mind. Here are a couple thoughts on how to do that:

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Wondering how you can interest your ring bearer in his or her important role? Johanna from Quebec answers this conundrum on Frugalbride.com with a DIY idea that’s both inexpensive and easy. Take one stuffed toy of the sort that will most likely appeal to your RB, and create a custom collar that will keep your rings safe on their journey from the foot of the aisle to the base of the altar.

For a more formal affair, choose something classical from Steiff. If your nuptials will be casual in nature or you’re having a budget wedding, feel free to pick up something from the Dollar Store. Honestly, your RB probably won’t notice the difference.

My littlest brother was six when The Beard and I got hitched. I didn’t have a ring bearer because I think they’re kind of silly, what with the fake rings most carry, and furthermore, I doubted my bro would have much fun wearing a miniature suit for the day. As it turned out, he was run over by a car and stuck in a rolling chair during the whole wedding anyway. Now that he’s up and about and good as new, I don’t feel so bad about imagining him in short pants and a little velvet or satin jacket with a big bow collar.

Back in the day…by which I mean the Victorian day…little gentlemen were given the responsibility of holding the bride’s train. In the most formal of weddings, these boys would wear white silk hose, buckled shoes and matching hats. A Fashion Timeline has a few more interesting things to say about mini-men and their roles in Victorian weddings.

No fashionable Victorian bridal party was complete without small boys as pages. The pages were usually chosen from among the young brothers or nephews of the bride. They were one of the most picturesque features of the bridal group when quaintly dressed in little prince costumes or Lord Fauntleroy suits of white or pale tinted satin with collar and cuffs of lace and a sash of soft silk in a contrasting shade.

Getting my rambunctious younger brothing into a getup like that would have required stuffing him into it by force and then sewing him into it so he couldn’t escape. Even then, he probably would have found some way to cut it off. How did your ring bearer feel about suiting up for the day?

A great deal has been written about the duties and obligations of members of the bridal party. Less, however, seems to have been written about handling them so they are still your friends once the birdseed and rose petals have been swept up and life returns to normal. Here are a few tips to help you be remembered as the best bride ever by your nearest and dearest.

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Once an engagement is announced and a date set, the burning question of bridal attendants must be decided. This is often a bone of contention in wedding planning. How many should you pick? Who should be Maid of Honor? Is your three year old cousin really too young to be a flower girl? What about your slightly awkward twelve-year-old niece whom you adore? Is there a role for her? Do you really have to have your snotty sister in the wedding party? Can you put your foot down and tell your intended that his friend who still thinks fake dog poo is hilarious cannot be Best Man?

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I tend to spend so much time thinking about gifts for grownups that when it comes time to show the kiddies some love, I’m plum out of ideas. For birthdays and so forth, I like to stick to educational gifts, but when it came time to pick something out for my wonderful little flower girl, I chose pearls. Not every five year old goes in for jewelry, however. Er, especially not the boys…

Luckily, there is plenty out there for those whose flower girls and ring bearers would rather munch on a cookie than read a book about their nuptial responsibilities. Weddingish has a neat selection of gift baskets and other stuff for the little boys and little girls who will be accompanying you down the aisle. Cute, no?

(Oh, and by the way, ya’ll got it right yesterday. I loved the dress on the right with its pretty, lacy straps and plunging neckline. The one on the left with those weird sleeve things? Not so much.)