Archive for the ‘Ring bearers’ Category

Where Do I Find: Ring Pillows With Matching Ties?

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

The awesome Ann wrote with this simple request:

How can I find a ring bearer pillow that has a matching neck tie for the ring bearer?

Oh, you’d think it would be so easy, wouldn’t you. What could be cuter than a sweet petit ring bearer with a little ring pillow that coordinates perfectly with his itty-bitty necktie? Unfortunately, it seems that most people are more concerned with matching the ring pillow and the flower girl basket or the bride’s wedding dress or some other accessory associated with the ceremony. Ah, well… all that means is that your options aren’t as limitless as they are in most areas of wedding planning.

Luckily, Tonia Allen of Me and Matilda is out there filling the gap where ring pillows with matching ties are concerned! She creates unique, well-made, and affordable accessories for ladies and gents using durable, washable cotton (along with silk, satin, linen, microfiber, and more) in awesome prints, and her specialties include matching sets for ring bearers! Allen will even work with fabric of your choosing to make a custom set, but here’s a sampling of what’s currently for sale:


Attendant Orientation: More Choices Than You Think!

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

Most couples I know – including me and The Beard – have made at least some kind of effort to end up with a balanced bridal party or symmetrical bridal party. That might mean six bridesmaids and six groomsmen or, less commonly, six bridesmaids and four groomsmen (or groomsmaids and bridesmen) who divide themselves evenly among the “bride’s side” and the “groom’s side” of the altar. Even less commonly you’ll see a mixed bag of gentlemen and ladies arranged on either side of the happy couple, in no set male-female order, but still with the same number of people on either side.

What can we learn from this? First, I think we can safely assume that the trend toward balance and symmetry has more to do with wedding photography than it does with family or friends. Just because the bride has ten best girlfriends doesn’t mean the groom has ten best buds (or brothers or even close cousins or coworkers). And then there’s gender – I still see the same sex-segregated wedding parties even in now when us chicks have plenty of dude friends (and vice versa). Second, “tradition” plays a big part in this, with brides and grooms never considering that they might have a mixed, uneven, or alternative wedding party because no one suggested they could.

So this is me suggesting it. Before you rack your brains to find another friend you like enough to complete your half of the wedding party, think about why you’re even thinking in terms of halves. Once you’ve wrapped your mind around the idea that your wedding photos can still look awesome without having equal numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen, it’s time to start thinking outside of the box when it comes to wedding attendant orientation. See, the reason balance and symmetry work so well is that bridesmaids and groomsmen (and groomsmaids and bridesmen) usually stand lined up on either side of the bride and groom. And that, ladies and gents, is that I want to talk about!

pink-bridesmaid-dressespink bridesmaids dresses


How Young Is Too Young?

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

In my day, I’ve seen flower girls refuse to walk down the aisle and ring bearers burst into tears. I’ve watched them fidget in pictures, toss their baskets and ring pillows to the ground in irritation, and steal handfuls of wedding cake before the bride and groom had a chance to cut it. I would never suggest that children and weddings don’t mix, because I think the right kind of wedding can be a lot of fun for the wee ones. But when it comes to participating in the wedding? Then I’m a firm believer in age limits.

As cute as flower girls and ring bearers can be, many don’t have the patience or the stamina to handle certain matrimonial activities. Think dealing with an empty tummy while the wedding photographer takes posed shots or standing for an entire wedding ceremony. Even walking 50 feet alone in front of 100+ grownups can be a scary experience for shy kids. Not to mention the fact that weddings can be a little overwhelming for introverted children or (especially?) children kept up past their bedtimes.

flower girls ring bearers

But all that aside, there’s also the issue of age. Does the two-year-old flower girl understand what’s going on around her? Can you guarantee that the three-year-old ring bearer won’t be scared of the officiant in her black robe of the photographer with his bright flash? Will the infant attendant coo contentedly as she is carried down the aisle but scream bloody murder as soon as the ceremony begins? Tiny tots are by their very natures unpredictable. They may look like little gentlemen and little ladies in their ring bearer suits and flower girl dresses, but their minds are far from mature.

You tell me:

My vote: I’d recommend choosing flower girls and ring bearers who have at least some understanding of the role they’re being asked to play in your wedding *and* the confidence to play that role well (i.e., without tears or tantrums caused by anxiety or fear).

Cute, But Maybe Not Right For the Job

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

There was a visible pseudotrend a while back that had moms and dads (and moms and moms and dads and dads) waiting to get married until their little one(s) were born. I call it a pseudotrend because I think plenty of people get married after having kids for a variety of reasons (health insurance, issues with school, circumstance, etc.), but the idea just kind of crawled into the public consciousness only fairly recently — thanks, celebrities! I’m kind of a traditional girl myself, but I figure that people get married when they want, why they want, and that’s okay by me.

The result of the pseudotrend in my social circle was the appearance of tiny, tiny flower girls and ring bearers. I’m talking about flower girls and ring bearers only just able to walk. You’d watch them sort of wander down the aisle and wonder if they’d make it. Would they lose their already shaky grip on the tools of their trade?

If you decided to reverse the usual order of things and got kids out of the way before tying the knot, think carefully before including your itty-bitty little guy or gal in the wedding party. Some very young tots find being stared at by rows and rows of grown-up people quite disconcerting — many a toddling flower girl and ring bearer has made tracks in the opposite direction rather than walk down the aisle unassisted. For those brides and grooms who simply must include a baby or toddler, I’d advise having someone familiar to the kid carry them down the aisle, perhaps one of the bridesmaids or groomsmen. Or not. The middle ground involves giving your son or daughter (or baby nieces, nephews, and such) a title and a symbolic role. You dress them up, include them in the photos, and parade them around, but they don’t actually have to do anything other than sit around and look cute… something I know from experience that babies are very, very good at!

Taking Care of Wedding Tikes

Sunday, March 22nd, 2009

Whether or not to include children in your wedding party and/or guest list is a purely personal decision. I want to make it very clear that if you choose not to include kids, I’m not going to make any sort of attempt to change your mind. Make your day adult, and have a great time with it.

If, however, you’ve decided to include children in your celebration, whether as guests or as participants, there are a few things you may want to consider in making your plans. After all, you want them to have a good time…and you want their parents to have a good time, too.

Don’t panic. It really isn’t that hard to do. If you follow a few simple tips, even your youngest guests and attendants will remember your day fondly.


A Match For Little Men

Monday, March 9th, 2009

ring bearer pillow

Some couples like their smallest wedding attendants to look like miniature versions of the bride, the groom, the bridesmaids, or the groomsmen. Other brides- and grooms-to-be want their flower girls and ring bearers to look like the little kids they actually are, and dress them accordingly. While both options fall within the bounds of tasteful wedding attire, if you fall into the latter camp and are planning to have a ring bearer, check out Me and Matilda. The proprietor of this Etsy shop creates matching made-to-order sets of 8″ x 8″ ring pillows and neckties in any of the washable cotton fabrics in her shop, so you can coordinate your ring bearer’s accessories with your wedding colors. Of course, if you’d like your ring bearer to wear what your grownup attendants are wearing, you can also find made-to-order ties for grownups at Me and Matilda.

Do I Really Need That: the Bridal Attendant Edition

Sunday, December 7th, 2008

Chances are that every wedding you’ve been to has included some sort of bridal party. Bridesmaids, groomsmen, a flower girl and/or ring bearer…these are common. In fact, I would bet good money that at least a hefty percentage of our readers have been in weddings where they were not the ones getting married. For my part, I’ve been a bridesmaid twice, maid of honor once, and once I got grabbed at the last minute to attend the bride at a spur-of-the-moment vow reaffirmation.

But now that you’re getting married, you need to decide whom to ask to attend you and in what capacity. That’s where things can get tricky. You may not really know what jobs there are, what sort of person is best suited to said job, or even whether you want these roles filled at all. The fact is that while you will need witnesses for legal purposes (anywhere from one to three people, depending on state law if you’re in the US), those people are not required to hold particular titles or wear matching clothes…but most of us do have those witnesses or other close friends and family members stand by our sides.

Fear not! Here’s a brief rundown of bridal attendants, common and un, in a typical western-style wedding. Read on to get a better idea of what your options are and how to best meet your needs in putting together a bridal party.