Manolo for the Brides

One of my favorite quirks of historical jewelry is the poesy ring. Popular from the fifteenth to the seventeenth century in France and England, these rings were engraved with phrases on the outside where everyone could read them. Later the inscriptions moved to the interior of the band, but I love this particular form of wearing your heart on your…um…finger.

During their heyday, poesy rings were often given as engagement or wedding rings, as well as to symbolize friendship. The poetry was sometimes a bit questionable, but there’s a sincere charm to them that speaks to me. After all, how can anyone resist the sweetness of a sentiment like:

I DID COMMIT NO ACT OF FOLLY
WHEN I MARRIED MY SWEET MOLLY

If I needed to replace my wedding ring for some reason, I would probably want a poesy ring. Luckily, there are some modern sources so I wouldn’t have to figure out how to liberate one from the Victoria and Albert or the Ashmolean museum.

This ring, for instance, says Pulse of My Heart in Gaelic. What is there to say after that?

But if that isn’t a phrase that floats your boat, the same site carries poesy rings in: Hebrew, Chinese, French, German, Spanish, and Russian as well. The rings themselves are available in most designs in sterling silver, 14k yellow gold, 14k white gold, and platinum. Some designs are also available in 18k gold.

Now, I wonder if I can find a company that will do custom poesy rings so I can get one with that delightful verse in praise of Molly….

What’s sadder than all of the unloved, unworn wedding gowns for sale out there? I’d say it’s the rings (diamond and otherwise) that get caught in the middle when a wedding is called off or two people decide that they just didn’t like each other as much as they originally thought.

Many a jilted lover has wondered what to do with a leftover ring, which is why I was entirely unsurprised when I stumbled upon I Do…Now I Don’t, an auction site created to match those “who are looking to sell engagement rings they no longer need or want with buyers who are in the market for a great deal.” It also has breaking-up how tos and breakup survival tips.

Personally I hope that there is an article somewhere on the site that reminds anyone buying a secondhand engagement ring that they might to keep the bauble’s origins quiet. Giving your honey your beloved grandmother’s engagement ring is a beautifully romantic gesture that’s sure to warm most hearts. Giving your honey a diamond solitaire that played a supporting role in the tale of a Lothario and a devastated lady? Not recommended.

In fact, many people believe that it’s bad luck to give or wear an engagement ring that was involved in a failed relationship. The same goes for wedding bands — a secondhand band will be regarded as quite unlucky by some.

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From the comments on my recent post, it’s pretty clear that there are still those old fashioned gals who crave an out of this world rock with a price tag that makes their men feel a little uncomfortable. Ask ye shall receive, ladies…but be ready to expect the unexpected. I do indeed have some rings for you.

Out of this world? Check. A tad pricey? Check.

See that gray stuff? It’s straight up meteorite, i.e. those big old hunks of minerals that originate in outer space and survive a fall to earth. I think these are utterly gorgeous.

The ring on the left is a genuine piece of Mars inlaid in 18k gold. The chunk of the red planet was cut from a Mars rock, found in the desert and officially cataloged under the name Dhofar 019. The ring on the right contains a certified piece of the moon inlaid in 18k gold. The moon bit was cut from a larger moon rock cataloged as Dhofar461, which was classified by researchers A. Rubin and Paul Warren from UCLA. They do look kind of cheap (in terms of aesthetics, not the price tag), but might be just the thing for the astronomy buff in your life.

Okay, so it’s not the big bling…but I think there is something cool about the idea of exchanging rings made of stuff that has been outside Earth’s atmosphere in the not so distant past.

Most people consider divorce one of the most solemn and serious rites of passage. It’s a new beginning that is tainted by a traumatic ending. I say “most people” because I just know that someone is out there right now ordering a tiny coffin for their now defunct wedding band. Personally, I don’t think divorce itself is particularly humorous, though I will occasionally chuckle at impulsive Hollywood weddings followed by speedy Hollywood divorces.

I honestly would not be surprised if this sort of thing starts to catch on. As The Boomer Blog so aptly put it, “For marketers this serves as a revelation: the wedding industry is a gloriously profitable one. Why not create a divorce industry—tailored to boomers who are going through the difficult but ultimately freeing divorce passageway and might appreciate a little levity.”

Last year, someone named Shanna Moakler got in on the action. Her claim to fame was apparently being married to Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker. Like that cake? It’s the divorce cake she chopped into delicious edible bits at her divorce party as a means of finding closure. Back in my day–I’m 28, can I have a day?–closure was the product of a lot of crying, a lot of money, a lot of paperwork, and a few tubs of very expensive ice cream.

So what’s going to be the next hot item in the novelty divorce market? Perhaps the ex-husband voodoo doll? Humorous sweatshirts? Cheeky breakup care packages? Only time will tell…

This is a classic photographic trick, but one that nonetheless elicits a “wow” from most people when done well. I first came across the Flickr group devoted to heart shadow photography after following a link on Our One Heart, and I just couldn’t resist reposting the link.

If the usual photo of his and hers hands holding sparkling wedding bands isn’t for you, why not ask your photog to snap a double heart pic using both of your rings? And if you’re long since hitched, there’s no reason you can’t rig up a light source, grab a book, and take your own photographs. Just be sure you read the text beneath the ring — if the first words that jump out at you are swaggering, cold, and cocksure, you may want to choose a different book.

The Beard and I have long since begun the process of developing the traditional ring finger callous where our bands sit, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still ooh and ah at wedding bands. I wouldn’t want to lose my edge because I still get questions from brides- and grooms-to-be pondering the myriad ring choices out there. Today, Rosaura asks:

I have a question that I just can’t seem to answer. My engagement ring is white gold, and I plan on wearing a wedding band of the same color. The problem is that my fiancé only wears yellow gold and wants a yellow gold wedding band. Is it all right to have different colors and styles of wedding bands? Or should they match?

Consider yourself lucky that your man even has a preference, Rosaura! Some brides-to-be find that getting their intended to make even the smallest decision is absolute torture. It makes sense if you think about it, as a lot of guys don’t give much thought to jewelry until it comes time to get hitched.

But to answer your question, as often as you’ll come across matching sets when shopping for wedding bands, the era of the perfectly matched set is coming to an end. For those shopping for plain bands, it’s not an issue because they come in all sizes and colors. A lot of women’s wedding bands have stones these days, while men’s rings are less apt to have any sort of setting. And many women prefer to match their wedding band to their engagement ring, leaving their men to choose some alternate style.

So, no, wedding bands do not have to match. Your rings may not be made out of the same metal or have anything in common with each other at all, but that doesn’t mean they are any less a symbol of your love. Some couples don’t wear rings at all or wear rings that you wouldn’t immediately identify as being wedding rings. If your fiancé is a yellow gold kind of dude (and more power to him for even realizing that), then he should by all means wear a wedding ring he is comfortable with. And if you are a white gold kind of gal, there is no reason to deviate from your usual style. After all, you’re going to be wearing that ring for quite some time!

Remember, way back in the day, when I was clearing out my inbox? Well it’s that time again, which means that I’m going to be featuring questions you’ve asked, products you’ve recommended, and funny stuff you’ve been thoughtful enough to share with me. Today, I’m going with an inquiry that came from Eliza, who is no doubt happily married by now. Her circumstance remain timeless, however.

My fiance is Dutch, and in Holland most people wear their wedding rings on their right hand, unless they are catholic, in which case they wear them on their left. We are both relatively non-religious, but are protestant if we have to choose. Never-the-less, at the moment we live in the US (we could move to Holland sometime in the future, but no plans now). He gave me a beautiful antique platinum diamond ring, which I wear on my left ring finger. He has a yellow-gold family crest ring (an heirloom) he always wears on his left ring finger (and which doesn’t fit on his right).

Question #1) Should I let him get away with wearing a wedding ring on the right hand while we’re living in the US? Honestly, he’s a good looking guy who appreciates the attention he gets from women, and I want them all to know he’s taken! But is it too much to ask to have him resize his family ring to fit the right?

Question #2) He said there also might be some yellow gold wedding bands in his family from his grandparents. I like family jewelry, but my engagement ring is platinum. Then I was just thinking, if I wanted to go the multi-cultural route and let him wear his wedding ring on his right hand, what if we both wear his family wedding bands on our right hands? Definitely not-traditional, but we’re dealing with two different cultural norms.

Interesting question you’ve posed here. And one I’ve pondered before, as my grandparents are both Germans living in the US who wear their wedding bands on the right hand.

Now, for me, when I see something that looks like a wedding band, I just assume it is one, but that may be my own multi-cultural background talking. Still, I don’t think it’s unreasonable of you to ask your fiancé to wear his ring American-style when in the States. After all, you’re going to be married, and I imagine you’d like people to know you’re married!

As for your second question, I think you’ve hit upon a truly fabulous idea! I’ve never been one for the doubling up of rings anyway, and you’ve hit upon a perfect solution that lets you permanently rock both your wedding band and your engagement band. It’s also a good compromise–it allows him to keep wearing his family ring on the fitting finger. You may have to explain to unworldly folks who question your choice that you wear your rings European-style, but what is cooler than having a Dutch husband? Very little, IMO!

Oh, and don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t mix gold and platinum and silver and whatever else you fancy. It can look really stunning when done right.

Kirk pointed me toward a collection of unusual rings created by designer and metalsmith Jana Brevick.

The above wedding ring set was created from sterling silver and serial plugs. See what they look like fitted together by clicking the pic!

And these were created using gold, sterling silver, and plugs with threaded sheaths. Again, see what they look like fitted together by clicking the pic.

Sure, they are a little bulky, as Kirk remarked, but they could make a sweet present for a technically-minded couple looking for something to set them apart.

And speaking of wedding rings, mine finally arrived today. It’s a good thing, too, as we were all set to cancel our order with our rather slow-going jewelrymaker. We even bought a set of plain gold bands so that we wouldn’t be left in a lurch if she didn’t come through. But here we are, scant days before the wedding, with a set of wonderful matte four-color, six-twist mokume gane bands. Yay!

Not so keen on a metal ring? You’re not alone. Some people don’t care for gold or silver or platinum. Others have pesky metal sensitivities that can cause icky rashes. Still others are looking for something exists outside the norms of typical commitment jewelry, but is still recognizable as such.

Woodworking artisan Gustav Reyes saw a niche and decided to fill it. After deciding that the initial monetary outlay required to create fine cabinetry and other furniture was just too high, he began to search for an alternative way to employ his skills. Rings, he noticed, were small enough to be crafted from found and salvaged wood and thus Simply Wood Rings was born.

Reyes’ rings are beautiful and they are inexpensive, but what appeals to me most is that they can be made from a variety of wood sources. In fact, he’ll make customized rings using almost any piece of 12″x1″x1″ piece of timber, and the technique he uses to shape the ring ensures its lasting structural integrity.

Wedding rings are the most common request but, Reyes caters to all sorts of ideas such as a mother who can’t part with her grown son’s baseball bat from his Little League days. Reyes even made a ring from ancient bog oak, a white oak tree that has been preserved in the bogs of Europe, carbon dated at 4,500 to 5,000 years old.

How cool is that?