Manolo for the Brides

If you simply cannot bear to be away from the face of your spouse for more than a minute at a time, this might just be the wedding band for you.

The Contura wedding band by Thomas Giesen is lathe-carved from platinum, stainless steel, silver, white gold or yellow gold to resemble the silhouette of your spouse’s face. Like it? Acquiring one is as easy as submitting a profile photo along with your ring size (and $580+) to Fitzsu, which then sends your deets along to Germany where it is custom made to look like your sweetie… sort of. When viewed from just the right angle.

Is it just me, though, or would wearing this as a wedding band get uncomfortable after a while, especially if your husband or wife has a large nose or a pointy chin?

Flower girl baskets and ring bearer pillows…baskets and ring pillows…when it comes right down to it, there aren’t that many options out there for the non-DIYer. It’s not that there aren’t cool crafters making awesome wedding accessories, rather it’s that the mass-produced generic ceremony accessories get so much more play than the one-of-a-kind stuff.

That just means you have to look a little harder if you want your wedding ceremony accessories to stand out. EasterYu is on Etsy and Muscari, fighting the good fight by creating unique flower girl baskets and ring cushions out of birch wood, seashells, artificial moss, miniature birds, and velvet.

Hint hint: She also makes fabulous boutonniéres and lovely hair pins created from beautiful feather flowers.

Prices for everything from baskets to boutonniéres range from $7 to $50, and you can’t beat that!

The lovely and creative Audrey sent me a link to a rather snarky article about wedding ring tattoos that appeared in yesterday’s NY Times. While my thoughts on tattoos tend to shift with the year, I’ve always rather liked wedding “rings” made of ink. I’d never actually get one because I am a wuss about needles, but I say more power to those who have the pain tolerance for it.

The author of the article seems to disagree, even though he himself sports a wedding ring tat. When he made the decision to get it, it seems he thought he was being somewhat of a maverick. Only later did he discover that his brothers and sisters in nuptial ink include Kathy Griffin, Ashlee Simpson, Jenna Jameson, Howard Stern, Pamela Anderson, and quite recently, Bristol Palin’s intended, the self-proclaimed redneck Levi Johnston.

Squinting at a cover of People magazine, I was pretty sure I read “Linda” on Hulk Hogan’s finger. The article, which didn’t mention it, was about his divorce.

Last year, Téa Leoni and David Duchovny had theirs done for their 10th anniversary. I admire their acting. He just entered rehab for sex addiction.

I’m not really sure what the author is saying here…that precedent proves nuptial ink isn’t as strong as a traditional gold band? That all people who marry are doomed, anyway, so thank goodness for laser tattoo removal? That he feels dumb for getting his tattoo? Hey, I’m all for snark, when it actually takes us somewhere, but this article is all complaint and no substance.

In the end, the rings matter only as much as they actually matter to *you*. Some people can’t wear rings because of weird allergies or bad eczema. An uncle of mine can’t wear a ring because of his profession. Then there are the brides and grooms who just plain don’t like rings. And there are those of us who fear the tattooist’s needle. If you fall into one of these categories and find yourself taking flack from friends or relatives for choosing the ringless option, remind them that it’s the marriage that’s important, not the accessories.

One of my favorite quirks of historical jewelry is the poesy ring. Popular from the fifteenth to the seventeenth century in France and England, these rings were engraved with phrases on the outside where everyone could read them. Later the inscriptions moved to the interior of the band, but I love this particular form of wearing your heart on your…um…finger.

During their heyday, poesy rings were often given as engagement or wedding rings, as well as to symbolize friendship. The poetry was sometimes a bit questionable, but there’s a sincere charm to them that speaks to me. After all, how can anyone resist the sweetness of a sentiment like:

I DID COMMIT NO ACT OF FOLLY
WHEN I MARRIED MY SWEET MOLLY

If I needed to replace my wedding ring for some reason, I would probably want a poesy ring. Luckily, there are some modern sources so I wouldn’t have to figure out how to liberate one from the Victoria and Albert or the Ashmolean museum.

This ring, for instance, says Pulse of My Heart in Gaelic. What is there to say after that?

But if that isn’t a phrase that floats your boat, the same site carries poesy rings in: Hebrew, Chinese, French, German, Spanish, and Russian as well. The rings themselves are available in most designs in sterling silver, 14k yellow gold, 14k white gold, and platinum. Some designs are also available in 18k gold.

Now, I wonder if I can find a company that will do custom poesy rings so I can get one with that delightful verse in praise of Molly….

What’s sadder than all of the unloved, unworn wedding gowns for sale out there? I’d say it’s the rings (diamond and otherwise) that get caught in the middle when a wedding is called off or two people decide that they just didn’t like each other as much as they originally thought.

Many a jilted lover has wondered what to do with a leftover ring, which is why I was entirely unsurprised when I stumbled upon I Do…Now I Don’t, an auction site created to match those “who are looking to sell engagement rings they no longer need or want with buyers who are in the market for a great deal.” It also has breaking-up how tos and breakup survival tips.

Personally I hope that there is an article somewhere on the site that reminds anyone buying a secondhand engagement ring that they might to keep the bauble’s origins quiet. Giving your honey your beloved grandmother’s engagement ring is a beautifully romantic gesture that’s sure to warm most hearts. Giving your honey a diamond solitaire that played a supporting role in the tale of a Lothario and a devastated lady? Not recommended.

In fact, many people believe that it’s bad luck to give or wear an engagement ring that was involved in a failed relationship. The same goes for wedding bands — a secondhand band will be regarded as quite unlucky by some.

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From the comments on my recent post, it’s pretty clear that there are still those old fashioned gals who crave an out of this world rock with a price tag that makes their men feel a little uncomfortable. Ask ye shall receive, ladies…but be ready to expect the unexpected. I do indeed have some rings for you.

Out of this world? Check. A tad pricey? Check.

See that gray stuff? It’s straight up meteorite, i.e. those big old hunks of minerals that originate in outer space and survive a fall to earth. I think these are utterly gorgeous.

The ring on the left is a genuine piece of Mars inlaid in 18k gold. The chunk of the red planet was cut from a Mars rock, found in the desert and officially cataloged under the name Dhofar 019. The ring on the right contains a certified piece of the moon inlaid in 18k gold. The moon bit was cut from a larger moon rock cataloged as Dhofar461, which was classified by researchers A. Rubin and Paul Warren from UCLA. They do look kind of cheap (in terms of aesthetics, not the price tag), but might be just the thing for the astronomy buff in your life.

Okay, so it’s not the big bling…but I think there is something cool about the idea of exchanging rings made of stuff that has been outside Earth’s atmosphere in the not so distant past.

Most people consider divorce one of the most solemn and serious rites of passage. It’s a new beginning that is tainted by a traumatic ending. I say “most people” because I just know that someone is out there right now ordering a tiny coffin for their now defunct wedding band. Personally, I don’t think divorce itself is particularly humorous, though I will occasionally chuckle at impulsive Hollywood weddings followed by speedy Hollywood divorces.

I honestly would not be surprised if this sort of thing starts to catch on. As The Boomer Blog so aptly put it, “For marketers this serves as a revelation: the wedding industry is a gloriously profitable one. Why not create a divorce industry—tailored to boomers who are going through the difficult but ultimately freeing divorce passageway and might appreciate a little levity.”

Last year, someone named Shanna Moakler got in on the action. Her claim to fame was apparently being married to Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker. Like that cake? It’s the divorce cake she chopped into delicious edible bits at her divorce party as a means of finding closure. Back in my day–I’m 28, can I have a day?–closure was the product of a lot of crying, a lot of money, a lot of paperwork, and a few tubs of very expensive ice cream.

So what’s going to be the next hot item in the novelty divorce market? Perhaps the ex-husband voodoo doll? Humorous sweatshirts? Cheeky breakup care packages? Only time will tell…

This is a classic photographic trick, but one that nonetheless elicits a “wow” from most people when done well. I first came across the Flickr group devoted to heart shadow photography after following a link on Our One Heart, and I just couldn’t resist reposting the link.

If the usual photo of his and hers hands holding sparkling wedding bands isn’t for you, why not ask your photog to snap a double heart pic using both of your rings? And if you’re long since hitched, there’s no reason you can’t rig up a light source, grab a book, and take your own photographs. Just be sure you read the text beneath the ring — if the first words that jump out at you are swaggering, cold, and cocksure, you may want to choose a different book.

The Beard and I have long since begun the process of developing the traditional ring finger callous where our bands sit, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still ooh and ah at wedding bands. I wouldn’t want to lose my edge because I still get questions from brides- and grooms-to-be pondering the myriad ring choices out there. Today, Rosaura asks:

I have a question that I just can’t seem to answer. My engagement ring is white gold, and I plan on wearing a wedding band of the same color. The problem is that my fiancé only wears yellow gold and wants a yellow gold wedding band. Is it all right to have different colors and styles of wedding bands? Or should they match?

Consider yourself lucky that your man even has a preference, Rosaura! Some brides-to-be find that getting their intended to make even the smallest decision is absolute torture. It makes sense if you think about it, as a lot of guys don’t give much thought to jewelry until it comes time to get hitched.

But to answer your question, as often as you’ll come across matching sets when shopping for wedding bands, the era of the perfectly matched set is coming to an end. For those shopping for plain bands, it’s not an issue because they come in all sizes and colors. A lot of women’s wedding bands have stones these days, while men’s rings are less apt to have any sort of setting. And many women prefer to match their wedding band to their engagement ring, leaving their men to choose some alternate style.

So, no, wedding bands do not have to match. Your rings may not be made out of the same metal or have anything in common with each other at all, but that doesn’t mean they are any less a symbol of your love. Some couples don’t wear rings at all or wear rings that you wouldn’t immediately identify as being wedding rings. If your fiancé is a yellow gold kind of dude (and more power to him for even realizing that), then he should by all means wear a wedding ring he is comfortable with. And if you are a white gold kind of gal, there is no reason to deviate from your usual style. After all, you’re going to be wearing that ring for quite some time!