Once upon a time, I was delighted to receive wedding invitations festooned with stuff. I’d save the ribbons — the cats like them and they came in handy when Christmas rolled around — and clip off and save things like tiny wooden rings, carved plastic medallions, and mini broochy sorts of things I could hot glue onto photo albums in need of a touch of sparkle.

Nowadays I tend to admire these marvels of invitational engineering before clipping off whatever embellishments are recyclable and tossing whatever isn’t. I don’t know exactly when my tolerance for do-dads, thingies, ribbons, and bling went down, but it might have had something to do with all the nuptial chachkas I’d accrued over time.

I’m still of two minds on the subject. Yes, an invitation wearing a cameo choker, gilded frame, or enamel brooch is fun and visually interesting. On the other hand, if your invitation won’t close without a velvet and rhinestone belt, that’s a tad strange. My own wedding stationery was comprised of rather plain gold seal-n-send invitations, but we chose those because the price was right and neither The Beard nor I wanted to spend ages assembling multi-part packets.

I do think the Carciofi Design stationery above is very pretty, though according to the web site it’s also pretty pricey.

For 100 custom wedding invitation sets with printed outer envelopes, reply cards, printed reply envelopes and enclosure cards the price ranges from $1200-$4000. Letterpress, engraving, or thermography are available upon request (special pricing applies). Quotes do not include shipping and handling.

Right now, the invitation I’d most like to receive would be one of those traditionalesque one-sided ecru numbers with only a hint of embellishment. If I was getting married all over again, that’s probably the sort I’d send out. I am curious to know whether or not I’m in the minority here, so I simply have to ask: Do you get a kick out of invitations with all the trimmings or would you (like me) prefer to receive something simpler?

I’ve always said there’s one thing weddings and funerals have in common: both are usually being planned by someone who has no experience in doing so at a time when it’s easy to be emotionally manipulated. That means it’s easy for vendors to sell you things you don’t need, don’t want, and can’t reasonably fit into your budget. It’s easy for the unscrupulous to convince you that an etiquette violation is precisely what etiquette requires. It’s easy to make decisions that later make you ask yourself what precisely was in your morning coffee on the day you chose to blow half your budget on pyrotechnics when you don’t really care about fireworks.

Well, you’re in luck. You have me to cut through the sales talk and sentimentality and give you the skinny on what is actually needed, what’s a fun optional extra you might want to consider, and what’s outright wrong on toast with a cherry on top.

So let’s talk stationery.

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We’ve talked about weddingish regrets more than a few times here at MftB, and it truly is a bittersweet exercise. On one hand, it’s fun to keep looking at favors and frocks and flowers when one has no reason to buy them. On the other hand, it can make one question decisions already made…choices that can’t be taken back.

Now, when I start thinking “oh I wish I’d done/bought/used such-and-such a thing” I just plan a fabulous house party that incorporates all those products and ideas. Favors aren’t just for kiddie birthdays and weddings. Brides don’t have a monopoly on fresh blooms. And there’s no reason not to dress to the nines if you feel comfortable in a gown…the trick is learning to feel comfortable in a gown when everyone else is wearing slacks. Master that, and you’re golden!

The number one thing I wish I’d known about would have to be Bluefly. I didn’t start seriously thinking of this shop to end all shops as a source for reasonably priced, re-wearable bridesmaids’ garb until after I’d had a pickle of a time badgering my own ‘maids into picking something, anything, because we’re really getting down to the wire, here. Maybe telling them to go to Bluefly would have made everything easier for everyone…then again, probably not.

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I have it on good authority that the hot colors being adopted left and right by those planning weddings for later in the year are yellow and gunmetal gray. Gunmetal? Bring it on, especially in the dresses! Yellow in the frockular area? Um…I can’t say I’m a fan. A brief looksie reveals gowns that are playful to the point of being juvenile. Add to that the fact that yellow was associated at some point in history, according to Snopes, with lying, unfaithfulness, and oath breaking.

And lets not forget this little rhyme: “Married in yellow, ashamed of your fellow.” Now that’s how you condemn a color, folks, at least as far as bridalwear is concerned.

But all is not lost, for there are a thousand and one ways you can incorporate the happiest of all colors into your wedding palette. Flowers are an obvious choice, seeing as how Mother Nature saw fit to create oh so many lovely yellow blooms. A yellow cake…it’s a thought. How about some yellow stationery, done four different ways?

This lovely set from Crane’s includes invitation cards, inner and outer envelopes, reception cards, and response cards, and weighs in at $456.00 for just the invites.

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Save-the-dates are by no means necessary if your wedding will take place close to home. If, however, a large number of your guests will have to make travel or accommodation arrangements, your STD cards can help people plan. Those individuals may even save a little dough by reserving their spots on planes and in hotels early.

Pop ‘em in the mail about four to six months before your nuptials, and make sure you include your names, your wedding date, and the location of your nuptials. You should also add the URL of your personal wedding web site–especially if you’ve put up a page linking to local accommodations, airports, and directions.

If you don’t feel like putting anymore paper into an already bloated postal system, you can always warn your intended guests that they ought to save-the-date via telephone or e-mail. On that note, know that not everyone cares for cute STD magnets, postcards, and stickers. On Indie Bride’s Kvetch boards, joplin4 wrote:

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I’ve been burned before where thank you notes are concerned, and I can still rattle off the names of each and every bride and groom who didn’t make with the gratitude. So many nuptial etiquette rules were made to be broken, but the one about sending thank you notes in a timely fashion is not one of them. Being that you have to send them out anyway, why not make your thank yous as easy on the eye as possible by ordering from San Diego-based Ink Drop Design?

You’ll probably need a gel pen to write on the darker ones.

I’d never advocate charging admission to your nuptials, but I adore the idea of using tickets as save-the-dates and invitations. There’s a fun app at Says-It that lets you create a custom event ticket to put on your wedding web site. If you want a really professional looking ticket, buy ‘em from professionals like Admit One or Ticket Printing. As far as the price goes, it’s pretty darn reasonable!

This would work best for casual weddings or weddings taking place at sporty locations. You could also use these for shower invites, rehearsal invites, bachelor party invites, or favor tags.

So apparently it’s Cyber Monday, the online analog of Black Friday? I predict that in fifteen or so years every day of the year will have it’s own shopping name. Someone on Metafilter said, “Black Friday is for people who haven’t heard of pre-ordering or online shopping” and I agree completely. I always look for free shipping because shipping charges are the last online buying barrier.

Am I shopping for something today? Yes, but it’s not my fault! Somewhere along the line I apparently offered to bake Christmas cookies for family members. That’s a big oops. That’s why I’m getting ready to buy reusable gift bags right now. I hate wrapping paper…almost as much as I hate rolling out cookies.