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Engagement Season Is Upon Us

Sorry about the lateness of the posting. Things – particularly weather and some spotty power access – happened.

Anyway.

I thought you might all find it interesting to learn a little bit of trivia. Did you know that roughly 40% of all marriage proposals take place between the months of November and February? And the most popular time to propose marriage is Christmas?

Here are a couple other burning questions about engagement you probably never thought to ask. (more…)

Quickie Question: Call Me Old-Fashioned?


According to HuffPo, Twitter was all a-twitter on Wednesday over wedding and marriage traditions. Using the hashtag #CallMeOldFashioned, lots of people told everyone on Twitter what retro thing they want from their wedding and/or marriage.

The old-fashioned traditions in question ranged from being sure everyone knows that white dress means an intact hymen (please, please, please stop sharing that with me, everyone!), to wanting to be carried over the threshhold (awe!), to wanting to stay home and keep house, to believing their marriages will last forever without any straying on either part.

One woman said she wasn’t going to introduce her boyfriend to her parents until she had an engagement ring from him, which is decidedly not old-fashioned. It’s only very recently that a woman was likely to get engaged to someone who hadn’t already gotten a thumbs up from her father. That, in itself, is a fairly recent development from the times when the woman found herself engaged when her father darn well introduced the groom to her.

Did I do some old-fashioned things when I was getting married? Yes, I did. I did the old-fashioned thing of making the wedding happen by hand. I slept apart from Mr. Twistie the night before our wedding, even though we were both in the same house. I just felt like I needed to be alone then. It wasn’t like I thought that would make me somehow ‘purer’ or avoid the chance of seeing him in the morning. I just needed to spend some time in my own head that night. Nonetheless, it was a fairly old-fashioned thing to do. We had a receiving line, which was already well out of fashion at the time. I’m still glad we did that. I meant we didn’t miss saying hello to anyone. And Mr. Twistie and I waited to move in together until after we were married. That was my choice. I preferred things that way.

What about you? Did you do something very old-fashioned? Will you? Do you have some old fashioned wedding accessories? Have you made a choice that makes some of your friends wonder how you got so backwards or your parents heave a sigh of relief? Is it something you are happy with, or do you regret any of it? Was it your idea, or did you bow to someone else’s preferences?

Tell me all about it!

What’s Up at the Huff Po Wedding Page


Sometimes it’s fun to take a gander at the weddings page at the Huffington Post just to see what’s being said there. The information and advice often ranges from the painfully trite to the downright deranged, but there’s also an occasional nugget of bridal goodness to be mined.

For instance, that photo at the top of this entry? That’s Len Kendall. When he decided to pop the big question, he went to Buzzfeed and posted this meme of himself asking Katie the Big Question… and invited his friends to create images in a similar vein to support him. The images include everything from Tim Tebow to Angelina Jolie’s right leg to… stuff I don’t recognize, but still find amusing. About the only one I didn’t see was Princess Beatrice’s hat from last spring’s royal wedding. Then again, I’m guessing the images at Huff Po don’t include every single effort.

BTW, the lady said yes.
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How To Be Part of Your Own Party


(Illustration via Delightfully Engaged)
If you listen to conventional wisdom, you’ll learn that you won’t remember a single moment of your wedding. It will all be a blur. And that is true for some brides. I’ve known several of them myself. I’ve known women who spent the entire day in a fog, or in tears, or stressing out over minute details nobody else noticed who missed their entire weddings.

Me? I wasn’t like that. I’ve known a lot of other brides who were more like me. They spent their wedding days really at their weddings and remember them clearly years later.

You may simply be the sort of person who gets caught up in emotions and forgets the details. It happens. But if your fog or forgetfulness springs from another source, there are ways to get more in touch with the moment and truly enjoy yourself at your wedding.
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Speechifying 101a for the Best Man


Whether your wedding reception is held in a church hall, hotel, or a backyard, whether you toss the bouquet and cut the cake or not, whether you’re in formalwear or bathing suits, one tradition is bound to be followed: the best man’s speech.

Of course, not every best man is used to public speaking. Or best woman. We’re not fussy about the gender of the bridal party around here. But no matter who’s filling the role, there are a few tips that will make making that speech easier for the speaker and nicer for the listeners, too.
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‘Til the End of the Contract Do Us Part


‘Til death do us part.

That’s the vow, right? That you’ll stay together until one or the other of you dies?

We all know couples who haven’t managed that one. Heck, I’m the second Mrs. Twistie! His first marriage didn’t end with a death, but with divorce. Some of you have talked in comments about previous marriages. Right now, I happen to be doing a lot of hand-holding for a very good friend who decided to call her marriage quits after ten years because she has never been happy in it.

I swore ’til death do us part, and I fully intend to honor that vow. But I completely get that not every relationship is going to work out that way. And so I was intrigued with the fact that Mexico City has a proposal currently on the table for temporary marriages.

The proposed temporary marriage would have a two-year minimum term, at the end of which couples would have the option to either extend the contract or dissolve the marriage without the legal hassles of a divorce. The marriage would simply end.
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Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something… Sentimental?

Grandma's gown turned into fabric roses for a bridal bouquet? Sentimentalicious!

Everyone is always saying blah blah it’s all about the bride blah blah. Almost everyone, anyway. And it’s not like the media is much help there when it comes to combating the idea that weddings turn women into self-absorbed harpies. But I know and you know that they don’t. In the six years I’ve been writing here, I have read many touching and beautiful comments from people planning weddings and thinking about just about everyone else before themselves. Which isn’t to say you can’t go too far in one direction or the other. Have the wedding you want, right, but keep in mind that weddings are typically family affairs. That way, everybody wins.

Some brides and grooms in thinking of others while planning weddings go above and beyond he’s vegan and she’ll need a wheelchair ramp and so on, and think of ways to incorporate the past into the weddings of the present. For some, that means a couple choosing a wedding theme based on the adventures they’ve had and the destinations they’ve visited. For other people, it might mean wearing mom’s wedding dress or carrying one’s late grandfather’s handkerchief during the ceremony. There are lots of sentimental touches that can make a wedding feel extra special, from memorial photo charms woven into a bouquet stem ribbon to having the groom’s initials embroidered into the lining of the bride’s dress to making a group vow renewal part of your wedding ceremony.

But that’s not all. There are probably an infinite number of sentimental touches that can be incorporated into a wedding. Me? I was the aforementioned handkerchief carrier. Now you tell us: What are YOU doing to make your wedding that much more special?

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