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In It to Win It

Monday, August 25th, 2008
By Never teh Bride

With the exception of a handful of rogue weddings, the nuptial celebrations I’ve attended as an adult have NOT included the tossing of the bouquet. At one of the aforementioned affairs, I didn’t get anywhere near the thing. I caught it at another — mainly because my aunt winged it right at my head. At yet another, I actually did catch it, but then I tossed it covertly to the woman standing next to me and she was more than happy to have it.

As I’ve gotten older, there have typically been less and less single ladies on the floor when the bride has decided to toss the bouquet. You get the teenage girls, the older widows, the “cougars,” and the small group of single, of-marriageable age women. Sometimes you can see the horror and mortification in these ladies’ eyes as their friends and relatives elbow them onto the parquet when the DJ announces the impending toss.

Of course, some women are into the whole game. Really into it. Some even want to nab that bunch of blooms so badly that they’re willing to commit bodily assault to get it! This how-to from Howcast is meant to be humorous (I hope) but I’ve known a chick or two who would treat this as deadly serious advice.

I’d advise taking an entirely different approach to the bouquet. Step 1: Before the wedding, ascertain whether your group of friends has any interest in the outdated tradition. If not, proceed to Step 2: Approach the bride-to-be to determine whether she’s thinking of tossing the bouquet. If she is, proceed to Step 3: Threaten to take her future husband hostage if she won’t agree to scrap the idea. If she procures another fiancée, proceed to Step 4: Strap yourself to your seat when the MC announces it’s tossing time.


NtB is in the trenches, and the trenches are filled with soap

Monday, May 19th, 2008
By Never teh Bride

(Preamble: I’m happy to announce that as of today, The Beard and I have been married for one whole year! He reads this at work, so here’s me saying, “I love ya, loverboy!”)

In case you’ve ever wondered whether I actually read and play with and make all of the books, stuff, and recipes I’ve reviewed here, let me just say I don’t mess around. Yesterday, in my never-ending quest to acquaint myself with all things bridal, I made soap.

Let me rephrase that…I didn’t start with lye and fat and whatever other nasty things are in soap, but I did melt down blocks of colorless unscented soap, mix up different colored batches, add a fragrance, and pour it into molds. So to address any lingering doubts, when companies are nice enough to send me free swag, I test run it, whatever IT is.

In this case, it was a soap-making kit from Bramble Berry, makers of a ton of DIY soap and candle supplies. The soap kit was presented to me as a potential bridal shower or wedding favor–the catch being that you have to have the patience to work with a medium that needs to sit around and dry for hours before you can unmold it.

Uh, forget something?

The directions call for a microwave…something we don’t have. So I just stuck the whole works into a pan and popped it into the oven at about 275. This worked like a charm after I remembered to cut the soap base into chunks. When I did that, it actually melted!

(more…)


HOWTO: Oh-so-tiny itty-bitty Cupcakes

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
By Never teh Bride

Tiny cakes continue to be a hot nuptial commodity based on the preponderance of cupcake stands and cupcake wrappers out there. As grand as traditional tiered cakes can be–and wow, are they ever fabulous when they’re done right–couples are still gravitating toward cake in personal portions.

I’ve seen cupcakes doled out during cake cuttings and cupcakes stacked as centerpieces all reception long, which meant that some guests were noshing on cake before dinner was even served! What role haven’t I seen cupcakes take on? Well, I’ve never seen cupcakes given away as a wedding favor. This is probably because cake is smushy-mushy and must be boxed well lest it be rendered inedible during travel.

So how do you render little cakes fit for transport? If you’re the lovely and talented Bakerella, you make them EVEN LITTLER! And, sometimes, but not always, you put them on sticks:

So cute! So tiny!

Bakerella’s tiny cupcake tutorial makes it look so easy, which usually means that the project at hand will be really difficult. Not this time, however. As long as you’re patient enough to wait for melted chocolate to dry (just eat some while you wait) and mold a bunch of cakeballs into cupcakes, you’ll do just fine. The best thing about these…besides the fact that they’re so dang simple to make…is that there is icing mixed right into the cake. Yum!

If you’re looking for a fun DIY favor, think about whether you fancy spending a bit of time in the kitchen baking, rolling, and icing one or more mini-mini cupcakes per guest. Should it happen that the answer is yes, go thank Bakerella for posting such a well written and easy-to-follow tutorial. I’ll be doing just that when I whip these up for my impending book release party!

EDIT — Here’s an alternate, even easier tutorial!







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