Happy Halloween, all you Frights and Ghouls out there in wedding land! Save a couple Snickers’ for me.
In honor of the day, I bring you a mother of the bride PSA.
For your wedding, do not force your mother to wear a shapeless, moldy tablecloth.
If there’s one thing pretty much everyone can agree on it’s that there are wedding traditions (not to mention ‘traditions’) that are better left unobserved. The problem is that so few of us agree on precisely which ones should be ditched and which kept.
There are just so many potential annoyances to choose from.
On person would forever ban throwing anything into a crowd of unmarried people, while another would outlaw the use of bells or clinking glasses to force the bridal couple to kiss on command, yet another would be in favor of a prolonged prison term for any couple who forces guests to wait around bored for two or three hours sans appetizers or entertainment while they get their pictures taken ad nauseum.
Most of these are pet peeves of mine, though I’m actually pretty neutral on bouquet and garter tossing. Do it, don’t do it, I’m down with your decision, whatever your reasons may be. But smash each other in the face with cake or have a cash bar and I’m Not a Happy Camper.
But I’m curious about the rest of you. If you could end forever just one bridal custom, ‘custom’, or faux pas, what would it be?
When shopping for your wedding gown, there are several important things to keep in mind.
1) Consider the venue and number of attendants you will need before choosing a very long train:
2) When choosing the fabric for your gown, consider wool. No, really, consider it carefully and remember to card it before you head down the aisle.
What better way to begin a week of wedding planning than with a laugh? The recently engaged Kristina sent me a link to a McSweeney’s piece by Frank Ferri entitled “MY IDEAS FOR STAGED PHOTOS SET ME APART FROM OTHER WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHERS.” They certainly do, Mr. Ferri! Oh, the list starts out normal enough, with wedding portraits involving sweet embraces and the setting sun, but the ideas quickly devolve into hilarity territory. Here’s a sampling:
Groom sitting at a faux witness stand, on trial for cadaver trafficking. Someone from wedding party wearing a black robe, holding a gavel, and sitting on a dais. Ethnically diverse guests in the jury box. Bride sitting on jury trading lustful glances with the defendant.
Bride and groom each kneeling on one knee and pressing up against each other back to back. Each is holding a soccer ball, as both are captains of their respective high-school teams and it’s picture day. They’re smiling because their teams made states, though both lost in the semifinals. Still, it was a good year, considering neither team made the playoffs the previous three years.
Bride in a slowly deflating hovercraft. A wrecked Jet Ski floats beside it to simulate the moments after a collision. Groom was driving without insurance and the accident is his fault. Bride angrily flailing her arms. Groom in water, raising his hands forward in the air as if to say, “Calm down, we can work something out—just don’t get the police involved.”
Tall, dark, and handsome best man behind a bush with the bride, getting it on. Hands are all over each other. Bride’s expensive hairdo ruined by passionate foreplay. The two appear to have a history together, or pent-up desire for each other that could never be expressed because of the groom’s feelings. Groom peering angrily through bush with expression that says, “My new wife is cheating on me on our wedding day with my best man and I don’t care for it.”
How’s that for a little creative wedding photography inspiration?
Image via David Howard Photography
The WE channel comes up quite a lot here at Manolo for the Brides. How can it not, when it sometimes feels like the entire network has been forcefully stuffed into a too-small wedding gown for our amusement? The point is, shows like Rich Bride Poor Bride and Bridezillas wouldn’t exist if no one was watching them.
Now, I don’t know about you, but the appeal for me has always been something akin to nuptial schadenfreude. I can look at the screaming brides and pat myself on the back because, hey, I’m not them! And I wasn’t them! And I’ll never be them, whew.
Sarah Haskins created a Target: Women that addresses this issue so much better than I ever could… you know, because I don’t have a video camera and an editing team backing me up. Bridezilla versus Momm-Ra? “Yeah, wide load, you better get it through your obese head that you’re too fat to get married.”
I recommend watching all the way through because the ending is the best part. Enjoy!