After seven years of marriage, three children, and yearly reaffirmation ceremonies, Heidi Klum and Seal announced yesterday that they are filing for divorce.

No very specific reason was given for the split, but the couple did release a joint statement, saying they had “grown apart” and that their separation is amicable.

Whatever their reasons, I do have to appreciate the fact that they are refusing to air their dirty linen in public. That, my friends, is how to do it the classy way.

The other split that made the news this week is Aretha Franklin and fiance Willie Wilkerson, who announced the end of their engagement just weeks after announcing its beginning. While the engagement is off, though, there is no word of whether or not they have ended their romance.

Franklin’s statement said that she and Wilkerson had decided they were moving “a little bit too fast” and said there were “a number of things that had not been thought through thoroughly.” The upshot? “There will be no wedding at this time.”

Whatever their issues, it is my fond hope they can be resolved to the satisfaction of all involved. But if they can’t, I do believe it’s better that things end in a broken engagement than a painful divorce down the road.

None of this is happy news, but the heart is a resilient muscle. May all four parties find happiness in the long run, if not at the moment.

Olympic figure skater and all around Very Colorful Person Johnny Weir tied the knot on New Year’s Eve with his Russian love Victor Voronov, who now goes by Weir-Voronov.

Weir tweeted:

… he’s kind of everything that I’ve ever looked for and aspired to be in a relationship with.

That’s pretty much how I think people should feel about their life partners. Congratulations, Johnny and Victor! I wish you every happiness.
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Okay, they weren’t the ones to actually speak the words. I don’t have any evidence one way or the other about whether either one of them had a hand in writing them.

Still, the other day I happened across their wedding ceremony, and found myself deeply touched by the thoughtful, gentle view of marriage it expressed. In particular, I loved this passage:

May you always need one another, not so much to fill the emptiness as to help each other know your fullness. May you want one another, but not out of lack. May you embrace one another, but not encircle one another. May you succeed in all important ways with each other, and not fail in the little graces. Look for things to praise, often say ‘I love you’ and take no notice of small faults. May you have happiness, and may you find it in making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it in loving one another.

I could wish nothing better for each and every one of you in your marriages.

Every once in a while, someone comes along here and tries to sell me on the idea that weddings can only be nicely done with professional planning. While some may find a planner useful, and I’d be the first one to advise they use one, it’s hardly the only way to go. I like to encourage couples to think outside the box and find their own way of making a statement.

Well, I found a perfect example of how beautiful a handmade, very personal wedding can be.

This lovely Canadian couple used furniture from their parents’ homes, leftover wood from the groom’s father’s lumber mill, volunteers, elbow grease, and a little forethought to create an elegant, unique, and utterly charming wedding on their own. Read the whole story and see more pictures at Ruffled.

Oh, and David Tutera? Eat your heart out.
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… Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland, that is. Nettles and former model Justin Miller tied the knot on saturday after a two-year courtship.

The bride wore Alexander McQueen, though I have yet to find a picture of the gown. The ceremony was intimate, with family and close friends in attendance, including Nettles’ Sugarland partner Kristian Bush.

This is the second marriage for Nettles, 37. Her first marriage ended in 2007 after nine years.

The couple will not honeymoon immediately, because the bride is a bit busy tomorrow night playing the Grammy Nominations Concert Live!! along with such luminaries as Lady Gaga and Lupe Fiasco. Alas!, Mr. Twistie is not expecting a nomination. Sigh.

Anyway.

I hope you’ll join with me in wishing the happy couple many years of delight in one another.

It’s official. Just seventy-two days after the wedding, and long before the eternal loop of the encore presentations (remember when they were called ‘re-runs’ and only watched by sad, lost people too tragically unhip to make time for the first airing?) comes to an end, Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from brand-spanking-new husband Kris Humphries.

As is to be expected in cases like this, rumors and blame are rife throughout the media. Kardashian responded with a flurry of tweets denying that she married for the publicity and money (she assures us all the money from her wedding gifts will be donated to the Dream Foundation… though I do believe Miss Manners would council her to consider returning them to the family members, friends and well-wishers who gave them if they are still in good condition, and the last time I checked, cash has a pretty significant shelf life) and assuring us she married truly for love.

“We filmed Kourtney giving birth, Khloe getting married, break ups, make ups, our best moments and our worst moments,” she writes. “These were all real moments. That’s what makes us who we are. We share, we give, we love and we are open!”

… and that’s kind of the thing, Kim. When you choose to live your life so very publicly, people will insist on having opinions about your life. It’s part of the contract. And some of those people will not think terribly highly of you, especially when you have a gigantic, public, media circus wedding followed by a marriage that lasts less than three months.

Kardashian insists that she just got ‘caught up with the hoopla and filming of the TV show’ to the point that she didn’t know how to break off the relationship. And I will say that Kim Kardashian is not the first bride to utter similar words of regret and confusion in the wake of a brief, disastrous marriage. I’ve heard more than one bride say that she really wasn’t sure when she was standing at the altar, but didn’t know how to stop the train at that point.

Look, what you or I think of Kim Kardashian as a person isn’t that important. Frankly, I prefer to think of her as little as her painfully public existence allows. But I think we can all take a moment to learn a Life Lesson from this sordid little tale: if you’re not really sure of the relationship, Don’t Get Married Anyway. A good friend of mine got married anyway. She’s now in the middle of a divorce and bemoaning the ten years she wasted on a marriage that never for one day made her truly happy.

If at any point along the way you find yourself seriously feeling trapped, unhappy, or fearful about being married to the person you said ‘yes’ to, slow things down. If you’re standing at the altar and the words ‘I do’ start to choke you, it’s still not too late. Don’t get married until you’re certain it’s what you want, and this is the person you want it with.

Your happiness matters.

Little did I realize when I woke up this morning and tossed on my Paul McCartney concert tee how appropriate it was.

For today, you see, was Sir Paul’s third wedding day.
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