But there’s one aspect of this wedding you might not have heard about yet: it was a surprise to the entire guest list.

Chan had graduated from medical school during the week, and she and Zuckerberg sent out invitations to a graduation party. But when guests arrived, well, Chan was wearing a white gown and veil and the next thing guests knew, they were witnessing the start of a new marriage.

While this approach certainly isn’t for everybody, I have to say I like the concept. It’s low key, so it’s easier to avoid jitters. Nobody is expecting a wedding, so they don’t worry about shelling out money they can’t afford on new clothes and gifts. You don’t have to corral your nearest girlfriends into the bridal salon to argue over which available dress they hate least as a group. Nobody can accuse you of boring them to death with wedding details. Nobody has a chance to object to the aspect of the wedding that means the most to you.

In short, all you need to do is organize a party in a place you like, invite the people you’re closest to, nab yourself an officiant, get a license, and give everyone there the surprise of their lives! It’s up to you whether to plan for months or do it on a couple days’ notice, whether to include traditional trappings or drop every wedding convention except the vows.

I took a long time to plan my wedding to Mr. Twistie. I enjoyed the entire process. I loved sharing my plans with others. But there’s definitely something to be said for keeping an exciting secret, too.

So how about you? Would you ever consider a surprise wedding?

Well, Norwegian explorer Borge Ousland and his bride, Helga, found one place that hadn’t yet been used: the North Pole.

The couple gathered the wedding party together on the Russian Barneo ice base, and then took a helicopter to the pole, where the actual wedding took place. The bride wore a white silk wedding gown and the groom traditional Norwegian wedding attire. There was a cross of skis, candles, champagne, and fireworks, all of which were scheduled. What was not scheduled was the appearance of British explorer Mark Wood.

Wood was skiing to the North Pole to bring awareness to climate change, but wound up adding another layer of normalcy to the Ousland wedding: a wedding crasher.

The happy couple seems to have taken things in good stride. They invited Wood to join in the champagne and stay to watch the fireworks.

My very best wishes to the happy couple! May they take all future surprises equally well.

Fisher spent seven years in prison for the crime, and then became a stripper. Joey Buttafuoco spent four months in prison for statutory rape since Fisher was only sixteen at the time of their affair. Mary Jo underwent multiple surgeries to repair some of the damage Fisher did to her. The shooting had left her face partially paralyzed and she was deaf in one ear.

In short, this woman has been through some relationship hell the like of which I hope and pray nobody else ever goes through.

Still, Mary Jo has faced it all with pretty amazing fortitude. She eventually divorced Buttafuoco and has been going by her birth name of Connery. She wrote a book about her experiences. And while she’s been open, given interviews, and willingly discussing the details of the crime committed against her, she has not turned herself into a media circus star or spent a lot of time being publicly bitter.

So I’m happy to announce that on sunday, Mary Jo Connery took another chance and tied the knot with Stu Tendler, a print shop manager, in Las Vegas at the Always and Forever chapel.

Here’s hoping that always and forever is how long the happiness lasts this time.

I think the lady’s earned it.

The pair will be dressed in wedding finery modeled on that worn by the actual couple, from her Alexander McQueen gown to her diamond tiara and the groom’s Irish Guard uniform in striking scarlet.

Of course, some couples get immortalized as Barbie dolls faster than others. Last month, Mattel released their Twilight line Edward and Bella Barbie and Ken… and they were only married last summer.

Then again, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are available for pre-order at $100.00 a set, while Edward the Sparkly Vampire and his eternal bride go for just $29.95 each.

For those looking for something down the middle, Mattel did release their wedding edition Faith Hill and Tim McGraw wedding Barbie and Ken for $69.95. They come with microphones.

No very specific reason was given for the split, but the couple did release a joint statement, saying they had “grown apart” and that their separation is amicable.

Whatever their reasons, I do have to appreciate the fact that they are refusing to air their dirty linen in public. That, my friends, is how to do it the classy way.

The other split that made the news this week is Aretha Franklin and fiance Willie Wilkerson, who announced the end of their engagement just weeks after announcing its beginning. While the engagement is off, though, there is no word of whether or not they have ended their romance.

Franklin’s statement said that she and Wilkerson had decided they were moving “a little bit too fast” and said there were “a number of things that had not been thought through thoroughly.” The upshot? “There will be no wedding at this time.”

Whatever their issues, it is my fond hope they can be resolved to the satisfaction of all involved. But if they can’t, I do believe it’s better that things end in a broken engagement than a painful divorce down the road.

None of this is happy news, but the heart is a resilient muscle. May all four parties find happiness in the long run, if not at the moment.

Weir tweeted:

… he’s kind of everything that I’ve ever looked for and aspired to be in a relationship with.

That’s pretty much how I think people should feel about their life partners. Congratulations, Johnny and Victor! I wish you every happiness.

2012 has already brought happy news to more couples.

Basketball great LeBron James proposed on New Year’s Eve to his longtime love Savannah Brinson, the mother of his two sons. May they look that happy together for the rest of their lives.

Basketball legend Michael Jordan was ahead of the curve. He proposed to model Yvette Prieto, his girlfriend of three years, on Christmas Eve. Oh, in case you hadn’t heard, she said yes.

Last, but about a million miles from least, the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin announced her engagement to longtime companion William ‘Willie’ Wilkerson. This will be the third trip down the aisle for Franklin, who is considering a summer wedding.

The sixty-nine-year-old bride assures us:

No, I’m not pregnant.

Rock on with your bad self, Queen Aretha! May you continue to delight us – and Mr. Wilkerson – for years to come.

Still, the other day I happened across their wedding ceremony, and found myself deeply touched by the thoughtful, gentle view of marriage it expressed. In particular, I loved this passage:

May you always need one another, not so much to fill the emptiness as to help each other know your fullness. May you want one another, but not out of lack. May you embrace one another, but not encircle one another. May you succeed in all important ways with each other, and not fail in the little graces. Look for things to praise, often say ‘I love you’ and take no notice of small faults. May you have happiness, and may you find it in making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it in loving one another.

I could wish nothing better for each and every one of you in your marriages.

Well, I found a perfect example of how beautiful a handmade, very personal wedding can be.

This lovely Canadian couple used furniture from their parents’ homes, leftover wood from the groom’s father’s lumber mill, volunteers, elbow grease, and a little forethought to create an elegant, unique, and utterly charming wedding on their own. Read the whole story and see more pictures at Ruffled.

Oh, and David Tutera? Eat your heart out.


In other wedding news, singer Sinead O’Conner tied the knot for the fourth time on the ninth with therapist Barry Herridge. The pair chose the same Vegas chapel where Elvis Presley and Britney Spears (separately) were married. They sat in the back seat of a pink cadillac for their vows.

If any of you have wondered if you can rock your tattoos and a traditional wedding gown, head on over to Kristi Odom’s website and check out this gorgeous inked bride and her fabulous Halloween wedding.

Lovely gown, impressive ink, and a wedding I’m sure the couple will look back on for years with pleasure.

The bride wore Alexander McQueen, though I have yet to find a picture of the gown. The ceremony was intimate, with family and close friends in attendance, including Nettles’ Sugarland partner Kristian Bush.

This is the second marriage for Nettles, 37. Her first marriage ended in 2007 after nine years.

The couple will not honeymoon immediately, because the bride is a bit busy tomorrow night playing the Grammy Nominations Concert Live!! along with such luminaries as Lady Gaga and Lupe Fiasco. Alas!, Mr. Twistie is not expecting a nomination. Sigh.

Anyway.

I hope you’ll join with me in wishing the happy couple many years of delight in one another.

As is to be expected in cases like this, rumors and blame are rife throughout the media. Kardashian responded with a flurry of tweets denying that she married for the publicity and money (she assures us all the money from her wedding gifts will be donated to the Dream Foundation… though I do believe Miss Manners would council her to consider returning them to the family members, friends and well-wishers who gave them if they are still in good condition, and the last time I checked, cash has a pretty significant shelf life) and assuring us she married truly for love.

“We filmed Kourtney giving birth, Khloe getting married, break ups, make ups, our best moments and our worst moments,” she writes. “These were all real moments. That’s what makes us who we are. We share, we give, we love and we are open!”

… and that’s kind of the thing, Kim. When you choose to live your life so very publicly, people will insist on having opinions about your life. It’s part of the contract. And some of those people will not think terribly highly of you, especially when you have a gigantic, public, media circus wedding followed by a marriage that lasts less than three months.

Kardashian insists that she just got ‘caught up with the hoopla and filming of the TV show’ to the point that she didn’t know how to break off the relationship. And I will say that Kim Kardashian is not the first bride to utter similar words of regret and confusion in the wake of a brief, disastrous marriage. I’ve heard more than one bride say that she really wasn’t sure when she was standing at the altar, but didn’t know how to stop the train at that point.

Look, what you or I think of Kim Kardashian as a person isn’t that important. Frankly, I prefer to think of her as little as her painfully public existence allows. But I think we can all take a moment to learn a Life Lesson from this sordid little tale: if you’re not really sure of the relationship, Don’t Get Married Anyway. A good friend of mine got married anyway. She’s now in the middle of a divorce and bemoaning the ten years she wasted on a marriage that never for one day made her truly happy.

If at any point along the way you find yourself seriously feeling trapped, unhappy, or fearful about being married to the person you said ‘yes’ to, slow things down. If you’re standing at the altar and the words ‘I do’ start to choke you, it’s still not too late. Don’t get married until you’re certain it’s what you want, and this is the person you want it with.

Your happiness matters.