The rumors of the supposedly recent Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt nuptials have been greatly exaggerated. I repeat, put down your tabloids. Now, I’m not one to follow celebrity romance. In fact, for the most part, I just don’t have the stamina. I’m a busy woman and those Hollywood types get married and divorced faster than I can eat a quesadilla.

But at the same time, I am for some reason enraptured by the whole Pitt Jolie thing. Maybe it’s because they’re so dang pretty. During my work day, I check celebrity gossip blogs and news sites to see if those two crazy kids have tied the knot yet.

The answer, of course, is no they have not. But they have:

Traveled the world together
Moved in together
Done charity work together
And soon will be parents together

The world – and the paparazzi – are waiting. I’m extra curious to see whether, if they do intend to marry, they can hold a wedding with at least a modicum of privacy.

For the bride that really, really, really wants to make a statement at her wedding, and that statement is, “My wedding dress cost more than most of my guests will earn in a lifetime,” Japanese designer Keiji Tagawa has created a dress aptly named “Platinum White.”

This $1.7 million dress is made of 1,250 platinum beads along with more than 3,000 other jewels including pearls, aquamarines, moonstones and crystals. Precious metal and semi-precious stones are woven together to create images of cherry blossom trees and roses.

According to a Yahoo News story about the heavily blinged dress,

The gown, which for now will go on display rather than down the aisle, was designed on behalf of the Tokyo office of Platinum Guild International, a producers group, at a time that platinum is trading at 25-year highs.

Bling bling, indeed.

I have a lot of younger siblings and when I say younger, I mean decades younger. When I was somewhat less aged than I am now, I was naive enough to assume that when I wed, one of my three sisters would be young enough to take on the role of flower girl. Boy, was I wrong. And, to add insult to injury, my youngest younger brother is almost too old to be a ring bearer.

That said, I still like to peruse the racks of frilly little girl dresses and to look at the little baskets, like this one from Bridal People, that could have held the rose petals that would have been strewn under my feet had I not consistantly chosen beaus that aren’t ready.

One of the Internet friends of the Manolo pointed out this picture of a gown that I can only surmise falls under the catagory of showgirl chic. I don’t know who these people are and what would inspire a woman to get married in a get-up that could come apart with one determined tug.

Reader Snopes Fiend found the explanation on Snopes:

the photographs displayed above are genuine and depict an actual Russian wedding. The bride is said to be a professional belly dancer (hence the unusual attire) named Anna Atamanchuk from St. Petersburg.

But, since I always like a truly wacky story to go with my picture, I will, as an aside, a story from the career of New England’s self-proclaimed most popular justice of the peace/clergyman, the Honorable Reverend Dennis James Robinson:

The groom came to the wedding with a 45-motorcycle escort and the bride, who was an exotic dancer, came with a 200-motorcycle escort. She, however, sat in a sidecar with her rather racy wedding dress on. Her veil was sticking up straight in the air pulling up to the chapel. When I asked her if she took this man to be her husband, she immediately pulled on this zip away or pull away dress like she was going to do her act, and she said: “Yes I do baby”. No one was taken aback considering their reputations, but I told her to put the dress back on so I could finish the ceremony. She had planned on it anyway, but wanted a little bit of shock value. All I could do was put my hand over my heart like Fred Sanford used to do having one of his patented heart attacks.

I have no illusions about my eventual wedding. I may have mentioned this before, but I’ll say it again: I have six younger siblings. My father is a good provider for his family, but he cannot afford to be oppulent. I don’t have any savings that aren’t dedicated to my eventual retirement. So, I know that when I get married it’s going to be a relatively simple affair. Neither my family nor I can afford to drop a thousand dollars or more on a dress, much less anything else.

So, for my own future reference and possibly yours, I will now present a list of things any bride can do to create a frugal yet fabulous wedding.

Get high tech. Spend the forty bucks to splurge on wedding planning software like Smart Wedding 4.0 that keeps track of things like spending, guests, seating, appointments, vendors, and gifts. It’s like having your very own wedding planner…except this one won’t push you into buying nasty little packets of stale Jordan Almonds.

Go to the library. Or better yet, to one of those bookstores that have a little cafe and will let you read books like Denise and Alan Fields’ Bridal Bargains: Secrets to Throwing a Fantastic Wedding on a Realistic Budget while drinking a latte.

Be confident in your ability to find the perfect dress for less. Don’t feel you have to settle for retail prices. Surf the Internet classfieds, check EBAY, visit sample sales, consider checking your local Salvation Army or Goodwill outlet, and look for knockoffs. Sometimes having an original dress handmade by a tailor can be less expensive than buying it off the rack. Making your own dress with help from books like Susan E. Andriks’ Bridal Gowns: How to Make the Wedding Dress of Your Dreams is also an option.

Instead of booking an expensive hall, consider letting mother nature host your wedding. She has wonderful taste in colors!

Finally, use any resource you can. Plenty of Web sites, such as Brilliant Wedding Pages, have oddles of money-saving tips and tricks that will help you choose favors that are so fantastic, a dress that is so divine, and a setting that is so sublime that no one will ever know you’re a budget queen.

Now, if only there was a cost effective way to inspire The Beard to go ring shopping…

Being that I am a Boston girl, I couldn’t help noticing that the 7th annual Baystate Bridal Expo, the largest two-day Boston bridal show, will be coming to the Bayside Expo Center in January. According to a press release, the show will…

sparkle with glamorous gowns, elegant formal wear, door prizes, fashion shows, live music and entertainment, DJs, photographers, videographers, limousine services, ice-sculpting demonstrations, breathtaking floral designs, wedding ideas from participating sponsor, Stop and Shop and food samples from Boston’s top caterers, bakeries, and banquet facilities. Brides-to-be can plan their entire wedding in just one weekend, it’s one stop shopping and planning with many of the best wedding professionals in the area.

But is it worth it? Apparently, these shows have been around for decades and can be a great resource for the future bride (and perhaps groom) who goes into it with the right attitude and as an idea seeker. Expos are filled with folks whose main goals involve getting your money. According to the expo tips on BrideandGroom.us, it’s best to wear comfy shoes and clothes, bring a friend or relative, and fill out as many contest entry forms as humanly possible. Also, future brides and grooms should bring pens and notebooks because the fashion shows and cake displays can all be great sources of ideas.

As to how to find one in your area, they recommend you:

Check out websites, wedding publications and bridal shops to see where shows are in your area. If you’ve registered your name anywhere as a bride-to-be, you will more than likely receive information about bridal shows in your mailbox or e-mail.

Just be prepared for the resultant spam.

Because ladies only comprise one half of matrimonial bliss, I thought that I would address the topic of tuxes. As the future bride shops and shops and shops for the perfect dress, the future groom briefly thinks “tuxedo” before going back to playing fantasy football. That’s fine, I suppose, as long as the groom isn’t inclined to wear a t-shirt tux like the one above. But, in the interest of educating the ladies so they can educate their men, here are a few tips on tuxes from Simon’s Men’s Clothing.

When shopping for a tux, look for:

Traditional style – A black, single breasted jacket with notch lapel and pleated trousers have been in style for decades and will still be fashionable for decades to come.

Basic black – Don’t get creative with the color. A basic black tux can be worn to any formal function. If you want a splash of color, try a unique tuxedo shirt or formal set.

Year-round, tropical wool – Unlike polyester blends, wool breathes and adapts to the weather. Wrinkles fall out to keep your tux looking crisp.

Tailored fit – An ill-fitting tux ruins the classic look. Make sure an experienced tailor alters the tux so it fits properly.