How about a feather cake? Don’t worry — it’s entirely edible. What look like feathers are actually slices of rice paper coated in a light dusting of edible glitter! The cake itself is hidden beneath the “feathers,” and the flavors offered by one British baker include dark chocolate with creamy ganache, citrus sponge with lemon curd, and traditional fruit cake with marzipan.

All of the sources I’ve found for feather cakes are across one pond or another, so it may be some time before brides in the U.S. can opt for this choice. Until then, you can replicate it by going a bit overboard with actual feather embellishments. Just remember to remind your server to remove all of the feathers before cutting and serving your cake!

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It makes sense if you think about it. There are hundreds of resources that gals can turn to as they prep themselves for the big day, while there are very few places that advise grooms-to-be to do anything beyond “get out of her way” and “show up sober” and “don’t lose the ring.” I’ll admit that I don’t devote a lot of posts to groomcentric issues — this is Manolo for the Brides, after all — but sites like the newly revamped Groom Groove tell me that a whole new generation of dudes is preparing to tie the knot.

For example, Kirk wrote to ask:

Is there a better way for grooms to shave on the wedding day? They’re photographed with better cameras than they’re used to, and even a clean-shaven guy can end up looking like Fred Flintstone when the proofs come back… I know I messed this up at my wedding, with some unclever ideas. I was worried about missing a spot shaving, and thought I should let it grow out a few days before so I could see that I got everything. Well I got everything, but still the dreaded “noon-o’clock shadow” was visible! Was there something else I should have done?

I know The Beard is fond of the shaving ritual, so I approached him first in my foray into this most manly of arts. He swears by his Geo F. Trumpers shaving cream (which smells soooo good) and his Rein Dachs lather brush, and he looked shadow-free in our wedding photos. Then again, he’s a redhead and his skin can be rather ruddy, so he had a distinct advantage over dudes with fair skin and dark hair.

I turned next to my grandfather, who looked perfectly hair free in the close-up shots people took of him at the wedding. He has, for years, opted not for two, three, four, of five blades, but for the simple old-fashioned safety razor. While it seems counterintuitive, he swears by it.

A little more research showed me that old school is in when it comes to hair removal and that shaving officiant swear up and down that yesterday’s tools result in a smoother, longer-lasting shave. Wetshaving is the buzzword I came across again and again, in articles on MSNBC claiming that “A dull disposable razor dragged across a layer of foam or gel on your cheeks is a step backward from the past, not an improvement,” on forums like Badger & Blade, and on blogs like ShaveBlog and Mantic59’s Shaving Blog.

Mantic59 even produced a series of seven videos on the subject, beginning with this one:

Obviously I cannot speak to the validity of the claims made on blogs and in videos, seeing as that I have never shaved my face. I should say that no everyone agrees with the old schoolers out there. It works for The Beard and it works for my grandfather, but it obviously doesn’t work for this guy:

A badger hair brush is all right, for the pikers and fifteen year olds who are cultivating that “did I just have some chocolate milk or is it a mustache look”, real men rip the head off the badger (preferably Mauritanian NOT the ones from Brussels, which are actually a kind of non-swimming water rat, think Nutria but unable to swim or even float) and lather that up with some Vendigliani Otrusco, which is a Sicilian emollientie di priapari (lit. boner cream). By all means use an English lavender scented creme if all you are going to do is spend the rest of the day comparing man purses down at the emo-record shop, but if you are trying to emulate the real leading male lights of the century you are going to need at least the Vendigliani, the scent of which Graham Greene once noted “… most resembles that of toasted almonds, with perhaps just a tint, a mere suggestion, of stale urine.”

Finally using a blade at all smacks of Oscar Wilde on poppers levels of limp-wristedness (you might as well try to have some kind of man-baby and spend the rest of your life baking orange zest muffins). Real men, true men, (like Kaiser Wilheim, the last actual MALE man who ever lived) merely lather up and then, elbows clasped tightly to the sides, perhaps two inches above the kidneys, sprint at top speed towards a coral reef at low tide and with a last light (but masculine) leap, scrape off 1/18th of their face, per side, per day. If no coral is available it is best to grow a beard, as attempting the same thing on pumice or god help us, volcanic rock is akin to living ones’ life as a Spaniard.

…and there you have it.

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First Impressions
The Wedding Book: The Big Book for Your Big Day is indeed BIG. With it’s sweet two-column, multi-color design, it rather reminds me of the many home hack books I was given when I first moved out of my mother’s house. Not a page goes by where some tip of Weiss’ is highlighted in cream or taupe — overall, it’s very dignified. Information is easy to find, and there’s plenty of it!

Deeper Deets
I’ll admit that I had high expectations for this book, because Mindy Weiss is a highly sought-after event planner and “lifestyle expert.” It’s the little details she slips in, like three ways to fold a handkerchief, sample reception menus (Weiss admits that Thousand Island is her favorite dressing), an illustrated gown guide, and multiple wedding timetables make this book stand out among its peers. For those brides who like to jot things down, there are plenty of fill-in tables and blank note pages in the back of the book.

The Verdict
Other than iDo (which still has no reviews on Amazon, hint hint), this is probably my favorite book dealing with mainstream modern-traditional weddings.

First Impressions
I really like the box that envelops the Zinke Design Going to the Chapel gift set because it’s substantial and complicated. You really have to work to get the garter, ring bag, and handkerchief out of that box — I was almost afraid I was going to rip something, but Arin Robinson’s products are auspiciously sturdy. The trio of accessories matches The Wedding Book, which is a little weird in light of this review!

Deeper Deets
The set is made of satin, linen, lace, and the garter is lovely. It combines a ribbon with elastic, which means I can make it as small as my wrist or wide enough to fit over my head. I’m actually wearing it on my head right now. The hanky and the ring bag unfortunately gain nothing from being made out of linen. Both are pretty, but the handkerchief would do little to dry a tearful eye and I don’t know that putting one’s rings in a bag is the best of ideas. This leads me to believe that these items are meant just for show, and I’m a stickler for design that’s lovely AND functional.

The Verdict
I personally would not buy this $92 set for a bride-to-be, but I could see an older female relative doing so. When, exactly, do the rings go in the bag, anyway? Is it meant to be used before the wedding or as an alternative to the ring bearer’s pillow? I’d much prefer to give my hypothetical engaged friend or sister a vintage hanky embroidered with her initials or a handmade ring pillow I sewed myself.

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And so, without further ado, here’s the image:

Ready…set…snark!

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I thought about that the other night when a friend sent me a link to an online store she’s fond of to tell me about a big sale they were having. As I browsed the pages, I kept coming across pretty clothes I thought would make good wedding regalia.

This dress, for instance, struck me as something appropriate for a wedding gown.

It’s machine washable poly/spandex velvet and comes in sizes from eight to eighteen. Oh, and if you think it would make a great bridesmaid’s dress, too, it also comes in purple and burgundy. All that for just $89.95.

If you’re not married to wearing white, or if you’re looking for a breezy, pretty bridesmaid dress your closest friends can probably both afford and wear again, this might be a good choice for you.

It’s perfect for something casual in the backyard or in a park, and it only costs $120.00. Oh, and it comes in sizes up to 3X.

The great thing about wedding gowns is that whatever you choose to wear to your wedding counts as one. Whether you go for something by Vera Wang or something you found on the sale rack at Target, if you like it and feel beautiful in it, you can wear it to get married in.

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Just look at this stunningly gorgeous photo taken by my friend Oolong (who coincidentally made our kitty cake toppers) at a wedding at Saint Anthony’s Chapel in Holyrood Park. The two brides, Lizzie and Ari, look absolutely smashing, and I can just imagine them having a grand old time picking out dresses and invitations and ribbons for their stem wraps.

Of course, that’s just my brain telling me that the grass simply must be greener on the other side of the nuptial fence, by which I mean the side where there are no FOBs telling future husbands that they should just shut up and get out of the way. I’m sure that the everyday reality is likely far more mundane, with one half of the couple caring more about color schemes than the other on any given day. Then again a study of married gay folks from Vermont revealed that they were generally more satisfied in their relationships than straight folks. Go figure!

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Thus I must surmise that I can’t possibly be the only one who was a little taken aback by the ring bouquet:

Does this concoction of water iris leaves and small spray roses make anyone else think of goatse.cx (extreeeeeeemely NSFW)? Because I know that I and my sillier guests would be taking some pseudonaughty snapshots if the bride ever left her bouquet unattended.

Now the “bouquet” on the left does look interesting…in addition to its looking arm-numbingly heavy. The shoulder arrangement on the right is woven into a scarf and looks a bit like my neighbors front yard when they’ve neglected to weed for month.

Orchid leaves, moss, and green tinted carnations come together to form…what, exactly? Xena has her Chakram, and Wonder Woman had her Lasso of Truth. Perhaps Superbride — coming soon to a comic shop near you — wields one of these for great justice!

Are these meant to be worn in the manner of a stole? Or carried in the manner of a blankie? Apparently, this kind of “bouquet” is meant to emphasize the waistline of the bride.

My verdict:I can’t must up enough love or hate to give a firm opinion. I think that all of these floral options are a bit silly, but I certainly wouldn’t discourage any bride from choosing one of them. After all, I think that brides who carry books, handbags, candles, or other non-blooms can look wonderful, so I don’t feel at all strange taking that in the other direction. Brides who want to carry a whole mat of blossoms might very well end up looking smashing!

What say you?

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I’m watching one of those nanny shows, which is bad enough. But even worse, they just showed an advert for “Rock the Reception“. It’s a reality show…about people who are doing an unconventional first dance.

Let me say that again. A REALITY SHOW. About people who are doing an unconventional first dance. It’s an hour-long show…about a three-minute event.

Americans are complete whores for this crap.

I would have loved to have attended the concept meeting for this show. I’m picturing a member of TLC’s creative team, the wedding division. He’s late and he’s unprepared, and he’s hiding behind his laptop trying to look serious but secretly watching YouTube clips his deadbeat housemate e-mailed to him at 3 a.m. When the big boss looks in his direction, our ideas man draws on the first thing his eyes light upon, which is the video of a bride and groom dancing to U Can’t Touch This.

He’s saved! Saved by the Interwebs!

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Take, for example, these “Parisian Chic” tags from Fabulous Finds Boutique. I will admit that I’ve kept place cards from weddings of people I truly care about because I’m a sucker for any and all mementos. However, all of them ended up in the recycling bin sooner or later because there’s a limit to how long I’ll keep a simple piece of cardstock with my name printed on it.

Yes, the tags pictured above are also cardstock, gussied up with a grommet and a bit of ribbon, but how lovely would one look stuck to a tackboard or propped up on one’s desk at work? If nothing else, I’d wager than guests will hold onto these far longer than they’ll deign to keep the ceramic baskets of Jelly Belly beans you’re giving out at the reception.

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Have you heard of cellophane parties? Apparently, this is a “new tradition” in bridal showers where guests are asked to wrap their shower gifts in cellophane. Gifts are then displayed on a table for other guests to see, but the bride never unwraps them all, presumably “saving” everyone from a tedious, lengthy gift-unwrapping session. Are these as tacky as they sound?

Color me out of the loop, for I have never, ever heard of a cellophane party. The term itself conjures up images of wild fêtes of yesteryear best forgotten, but brings to mind nothing even remotely resembling an event that typically includes grandmas and great aunts. For the person who posed the query, I did a Google image query with SafeSearch off and still found naught but cellophane and boobies of the usual mammarical variety.

As for cellophane showers, I could not, in all my searches, find a single mention of this supposed new tradition. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of watching people open gifts because it seems so third grade, but that’s pretty much what a shower is all about. Like you said, without the unwrapping, the oohs and ahhs, and the making of the silly hat, it starts to seem like a gift grab. “Here’s a bacon-wrapped scallop and a glass of champagne, now hand over the loot!”

After all, the entire purpose of those tedious unwrapping sessions is to give the bride-to-be a chance to publicly express her gratitude for each and every one of the presents given to her, NOT to give old nosy biddies a chance to scrutinize each gift. Making said gifts visible does not absolve a bride-to-be from the responsibility of giving earnest thanks, and that takes time whether or not one is peeling paper off a package!

I recall my own bridal shower, at which three generations of women who might not otherwise have much in common bonded while watching me open prezzies while my mother stuck bows to the huge sombrero she forced me to wear. In return for their presence and their presents, I made sure to gush over each and over carefully wrapped box, from the one containing a lovely down comforter to one that held a meat thermometer…and I’m a vegetarian.

If a bride-to-be truly wants to spare people the tedium of watching her unwrap gifts, she should either request that her ‘maids ask that guests bring only themselves and their desire to have fun or learn how to keep a crowd enraptured by being as entertaining, gracious, and grateful as possible. In case you hadn’t guessed already, the idea that guests should wrap their gifts up like a package of chicken thighs is indeed as tacky as you imagined.

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