You might have caught me gaping like a goldfish at my radio earlier this week after listening to a program that invited listeners to call in and spout off about including registry information in wedding invitations. At the start of the segment, I was curious to hear people’s opinions but I was pretty sure that a majority of callers would speak out against registry cards or printing wedding registry information right on the invites.
Boy, was I wrong. With the exception of one or two callers, most were solidly pro registry cards! If you’ll allow me to paraphrase a few callers, I heard sentiments like “Having the registry details right there on the wedding invitation lets me buy the couple something they actually want.” and “I don’t want to have to track down the registry by calling relatives of the bride; I just want to know what she wants so I can get it.” Reeeaaally? It’s never been too much trouble for me to ring up or email the bride or the groom or someone who’d be in the know to find out where the couple is registered, but maybe that’s just me.
That’s not the only wedding etiquette rule I see losing its influence, however. Once upon a time, it was déclassé for the mother of the bride or sister of the bride or anyone else in the bride’s immediate family to host the bridal shower, but nowadays no one seems to care. I can understand the relaxation of this rule, since it’s now uncommon for the MOH or bridesmaids to live nowhere near the bride or her family. And if your bridesmaids are your sisters, what then? Other wedding etiquette rules that apparently no longer hold much sway (if the message boards I read are any indication) include asking specifically for cash in lieu of gifts, wearing white for second weddings as a no-no… and those are just the rules for the bride and groom.
I think part of the reason behind the relaxation of some wedding etiquette rules is that no one is taught them anymore. Another part might be the rejection of following rules for the rules’ sake, and it may even be that people just don’t care that much about good manners anymore. I’ll admit that I’m glad to see some rules go, like all of the ridiculous non-rules about wearing white and the rule that says that the MOB can’t host the shower even though she’s perfectly placed to host it. But asking for cash? And including registry information in an invitation? That just lets me know that you’re more concerned with getting a gift than you are with the answer on my RSVP card. Or am I simply being too old fashioned?