Manolo for the Brides

I like to read the local paper and not just because I spent too many years of my life –i.e., something like three years– getting paid poo-poo to cover dull as dirt community meetings. One, a good townie rag is a great place to find out about free stuff to do. Two, they’ll profile just about anyone so you get to read the life stories of people like Jim Bob, who won a trophy for his 100 pound pumpkin. And three…wait, there is no three.

Designer Patricia King-Davies apparently live (or used to live) a few towns over from me. I know this because they did a big profile of her in one of the local papers. The article talked about her splendid gowns, so I felt a pressing need to look her up, but the only pictures I could find were from last year’s Nolcha Fashion Week. All I can say is the King-Davies likes the shiny! Her shiny, shiny, shiny World Culture Collection apparently paid tribute to various countries’ styles and attempted to honor their traditions.

Two gowns from the show caught my eye.

Here you have the epic win. I just want to reach out and touch this one because the fabric looks wonderfully delicious and soft. I bet it’s nice to wear, too, with very nothing at all scratchy or poky on the interior of the gown. It looks like King-Davies’ logo is on the midsection, but unlike an LV or a Gucci bit, it’s pretty and subtle. My one criticism is that the model’s boobs need to be hoisted into the designated boob triangles or the triangles need to be brought down a bit.

And here you have the epic fail. Shapeless mass much? Sure, there’s a place for free-flowing fabric…however, all I can see is a sleepy bed-headed woman who was forced to improvise when the doorbell rang too early on a Sunday morning. But if you happen to like it, I’d be happy to travel to your home at your expense and drape high-end bed sheets around you until you’re sufficiently covered up.