Archive for January, 2010

Too Fat to be a Bridesmaid?

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

You know, I would love to live in a world where this issue only comes up on Bridezillas. After all, the entire point of the show is to make the subjects look as crazed, confused, and deranged as possible. Alas, this is something that gets mention in a lot of other fora, and made its way into a live chat with advice columnist Carolyn Hax on friday. Here’s what the question looked like:

Bridezilla: So I just learned today that my college friend, A, disinvited another college friend, B, to be in her wedding in two months because B is fat (she’s about 5’3″, 200lbs) and would ruin the pictures and how everyone looks at her on her big day. She did tell me that if B lost some weight, she’d let her back in the wedding party. I can’t communicate in polite enough terms how offended and appalled and disgusted I am by A’s behavior. Her rationale is that B promised to lose the weight by the wedding but didn’t, and that whenever there is a big bridesmaid everyone is looking at her and not the bride. I am so angry about her nastyness that I can’t even think straight. Is it kosher for me to drop out in solidarity with B (with whom I am actually not that close)? What is the best way for me to communicate back to A that she is a gigantic -glass bowl-? I am stunned. I don’t know if I even want to be friends anymore. FWIW, B hosted a bridal shower, has come to all the food tasting/clothes fittings/other assorted crap. She’s a good egg – we don’t click personally, but I am really at a loss for how someone does this. I heard from mutual friend C that B spent the morning crying her eyes out. I would too! What can I say to B that will help her?

Take a moment to soak the thought in: after throwing the shower and being involved in every decision making field trip, a bridesmaid was removed from the wedding party for being the shape she’d apparently been when she was asked in the first place. She’s done the work, supported the bride, and given a party, but she doesn’t get to take her place at the bride’s side on the wedding day because apparently one fat bridesmaid means nobody will even notice the woman in the big white dress with all the lines.

Want to know what Carolyn replied? Here it is:

Carolyn Hax: Everything you hope to accomplish, you can accomplish in one move: End your friendship with A (which obviously includes dropping out of the wedding). When A asks, tell her exactly why. B doesn’t even need to hear it from you; it’ll make its way around. I hope C follows your lead.

Kudos, Carolyn.

When choosing a wedding party, there are things far more important to consider than whether your wedding album looks like a pile of stock photos for a wedding magazine. Choose people you love, choose clothes for them that make them look and feel their best, thank them for any help they give, and I guarantee that your pictures will look fabulous because they’re filled with people you love.


When Help Isn’t Helpful

Saturday, January 30th, 2010

You all know that we here at Manolo for the Brides are big on the following things: individuality, DIY, and helping hands from the people you love. I know my wedding would never have come together the way it did – let alone at the bargain basement budget I had to work with! – without these three things.

Friends and family members came forward to help with food, decorations, the gown, transportation, and more. Nearly every bride I’ve ever known has had similar offers of help from various and sundry people in their life (often including me!).

Sometimes, though, someone offers to help out in a way that isn’t really going to help you out. It may be that someone wants to give you something you really don’t want to have, or it may be that they’re offering to do something they really aren’t capable of handling. Whichever case you’re dealing with, there are a few simple tips that can help you avoid unwanted ‘help’ without ruining relationships.

Perfect For Just Hanging Around

Friday, January 29th, 2010

How sweet is this silver wedding dress hanger from Lila Frances? If it was terribly expensive as so many things associated with weddings are, I might turn up my nose at it for being silly, but at $20, it’s a cute little keepsake that you’ll see every day when you’re rummaging in your closet.

wedding dress hanger 2

While I’ll admit that a personalized wedding dress hanger isn’t the most practical sort of pre-wedding gift for the bride-to-be (or from the bride-to-be to herself), these hangers do look quite nice in those iconic ‘wedding dress waiting for the bride’ photos.

wedding dress hanger

One word of caution: Don’t leave a heavy wedding gown hanging from it for any length of time, lest it warp the lettering.

LOVE/HATE: The Never Too Thin Edition

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

Lately I’ve been coming across brides shedding weight, but instead of dropping poundage of hips and thighs, these ladies and losing bulk in their ringular regions. That’s right, I’ve been seeing slimmer, smaller, more delicate wedding bands and engagement rings gushed about on more and more blogs written by actual brides-to-be.

simple engagement ring

The warm champagne diamond ring above was crafted by jewelry artist Sara Westermark and can be found in her shop, while the simple hammered wedding band below was created by Raina Lee Scott and can likewise be found in her shop. Both are stackable, but look just as lovely worn alone.

slim wedding band

Now this is a trend I can unequivocally say I LOVE. Big honkin’ diamonds and thick gem-encrusted eternity bands have their place, but they can sometimes seem somewhat lacking in soul when compared to a simple and pretty hammered band of gold.

What say you?

A Gown With Heart

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Wedding and bridal accessories featuring hearts abound in stores and online, from the classic measuring spoon favors with hearts for bowls to heart-shaped cake toppers upon heart-shaped cake toppers. Heart-shaped cookies… wedding cakes embellished with rolled fondant hearts… even a surprisingly pretty (from far away) Vivienne Westwood jelly pump featuring a luxurious red heart at the toe.

What you don’t see is a lot of wedding dresses decorated with hearts outside of the Hello Kitty novelty frocks. In fact, I only found four or so, all of which I’m posting here so they can be more easily found in the future.

hearts wedding dress 1

It’s hearts all the way down on this wedding dress that looks rather like something a kindergartner would give his momma for Valentine’s Day, but I’m willing to guess that the photograph doesn’t do it justice. This is now, to my mind, the kind of wedding dress that improves upon zooming in with the camera, but I could see it looking quite fascinating from a slight distance.


Even More Tips For Baseball-Loving Brides

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

baseball themed wedding

It struck me that brides and grooms thinking of planning a baseball themed wedding like my friend Mike mentioned in last week’s post might be inspired and impressed by seeing some of his plans. These are some of his and his fiancee’s wedding plans, and I am truly astounded by their thoroughness. It’s one thing to weave a theme into your wedding, but quite another to let your theme take center stage!

  • I had David Wright help me with the proposal — he’s one of the most popular players on the Mets right now, if you didn’t know.
  • The ceremony is going to be held at Citi Field, where the Mets play. How cool is that? All of the Mets games start 10 minutes after the hour, so the ceremony is going to begin at 1:10 p.m. and the reception will start at 7:10 p.m.
  • We invited everyone attending our baseball themed wedding to join us on our first week of the honeymoon on a cruise, so we sent out magnetic save-the-dates with the wedding date and cruise dates colored in the way a baseball team does on its schedule of games.
  • Our wedding invites are going to look like tickets with the stub being the RSVP.
  • The wedding programs will look like baseball programs, with the bridal party listed as the starting lineup, the minister as the umpire, our parents as the managers, etc.
  • Trish’s dress has a Mets blue sash, and my tuxedo vest will have the Mets logo on it.
  • We even found a place that makes boutonnieres out of baseballs! And Trish’s flowers will be either blue or white or orange and white.
  • The tables will be blue and orange and named after Mets players instead of the typical 1-12, and we’ll be at the number 41:Tom Seaver table. (We were going to make each table a baseball stadium that we have gone to.)
  • We will be introduced at the reception as a starting lineup, and Trish’s daughter is going to throw out the first pitch to me. (ed. – awwww) I also think the bridal party is going to make arches with baseball bats for us to walk under.
  • The last hour of the reception, instead of being a Viennese hour, will be a baseball hour with peanuts, Cracker Jack, ice cream in batting helmets, pretzels, hot dogs, etc. And we are going to change into “Team Wilder” baseball jerseys for that.
  • Finally, the thank you cards will look like baseball cards featuring me and Trish.

Now that’s taking a wedding theme all the way!

(Photo by)

Have Your Wedding Dress… and Eat It, Too?

Monday, January 25th, 2010

In some ways, Lukka Sigurdardottir’s wedding cake wedding dress is the best of both worlds. Wedding cake. Wedding dress. White. Princesstastic. Very edible.

cake wedding dress

My logical mind says she’s just standing behind a huge mound of what looks like a lovely rainbow checkered cake — kudos to the baker! — but my whimsical mind really, really, really wants Sigurdardottir to be mired waist deep in a wedding cake wedding dress that she herself is consuming.

cake wedding dress 2

Doesn’t that look tasty? It wouldn’t be at all practical, but so little associated with weddings is, no?