Not Just ‘My Day’: A Very Special Wedding

Last week, Mr. Twistie and I attended a wedding. A month ago, we hadn’t expected to be there when Rob and Lara tied the knot. Why? Because they had originally planned a destination wedding in Hawaii with only immediate family and a couple of very carefully chosen friends.

Did we mind not making the cut? No. We’re very fond, of course, as are they, but we aren’t their closest friends by any means.

In the end, though, they wound up having a much larger wedding right here in California. It wasn’t their dream. So why did they change their plans?

In a word: Stephanie.

Stephanie was originally supposed to be Lara’s MOH. Stephanie has been battling cancer for some time now. A few weeks ago, she was declared terminal. In fact, her doctor gave her just weeks to live. She wasn’t going to make it to the original September date, let alone be well enough to travel.

A lot of couples at this point might have grieved that their friend wouldn’t be there, but not Rob and Lara. They entirely changed their plans. Best of all, every friend they have got involved in making their wedding happen in a matter of some three weeks.

One friend offered up her backyard as a venue. Others provided sunshades, tables, chairs, food, drink, bar tending skills, a sound system (that was Mr. Twistie and his songwriting partner), and everything needed for a wedding. Another friend performed the service (he’d been ordained in an online ministry). Invitations went out by word of mouth, and pretty much anyone who knew the bride, the groom, or Stephanie was welcome.

It was all very casual. Since the original plan was to marry on a beach in Hawaii, Hawaiian shirts and piratical gear were encouraged. Anybody who arrived in time helped with the set up. Anyone who stayed long enough helped with the cleanup.

The week before the wedding was a difficult one for Stephanie. Three days before the wedding, nobody was sure she was going to live long enough to attend. Somehow, though, she pulled through and found the strength to be there. She came in a borrowed wheelchair and beamed from the front row as Rob and Lara spoke their vows.

I don’t know how long Stephanie has. I do, however, know one thing. By choosing to make someone else their priority, Rob and Lara demonstrated the sort of generosity, flexibility, and compassion that makes for a long, happy marriage.

It may be a tad superfluous of me, but I wish them exactly that.

16 Responses to “Not Just ‘My Day’: A Very Special Wedding”

  1. Omnibus Driver June 19, 2010 at 12:39 pm #

    If there’s a diametric opposite to Bridezilla, Lara is that. God bless Rob and Lara for honoring all those things that are important in life. They don’t need my best wishes — they know what happiness truly is and make it for themselves… and for others.

  2. Crybaby June 19, 2010 at 12:55 pm #

    This wedding made me cry without attending. Thank you.

  3. Rebekah June 19, 2010 at 1:09 pm #

    What an amazing story – thank you for sharing it!

  4. AmazonPrincess June 19, 2010 at 1:58 pm #

    My mom was at that wedding and Lara officiated her’s in May. I knew we had some degrees of separation.

  5. Twistie June 19, 2010 at 2:15 pm #

    @Omnibus Driver: Truer words have never been typed

    @Crybaby: (hands you a hanky) And yet I didn’t see a single tear all day. We were all too busy laughing and smiling for tears.

    @Rebekah: You’re more than welcome!

    @AmazonPrincess: No kidding? That’s kind of awesome! Oh, and I wish your mother and her new spouse every joy.

  6. Christine June 19, 2010 at 7:35 pm #

    Made me cry too! Thanks for sharing that story, Twistie.

  7. Fabrisse June 19, 2010 at 9:19 pm #

    I love knowing there are people with so much love in the world.

  8. Melissa June 20, 2010 at 1:10 am #

    What an amazing story. It is so nice to hear such wonderful stories like this in today’s world of indifference. May Rob and Lara have a wonderful life together.

  9. Snuze June 20, 2010 at 10:50 pm #

    What a wonderful story! *discreetly wipes cheek*

    It is stuff like this that restores one’s faith in humanity!

  10. Eilish June 21, 2010 at 12:28 am #

    It sounds like Rob and Lara are very lucky to have each other and a big set of true friends. I hope they have a wonderful life.

  11. dcsurfergirl June 21, 2010 at 10:20 am #

    Too cool for words.
    I always dread family weddings because of the over-the-top-plans and bridezilla behavior.

    Rob and Lara are an inspiration to couples that have their priorities straight.

  12. Christa Terry June 21, 2010 at 11:43 am #

    That’s awesome, and it reminds me of an old friend of mine. Her mother held on just long enough for she and her now husband to have a tiny private ceremony in their living room. They had their big wedding later, but the wedding where they said their official vows was that first one.

  13. bisbee June 21, 2010 at 1:10 pm #

    Restores my faith in humanity. Thank you for telling this story.

  14. HeidiAphrodite June 23, 2010 at 1:31 pm #

    Inspiring and touching. Thank you!

  15. Lisa June 23, 2010 at 7:10 pm #

    Usually, I only cry at weddings when I’m attending them. Here’s wishing them every happiness.

  16. Elizabeth June 24, 2010 at 5:53 pm #

    I’m Amazon Princess’ mom, and this wedding was every bit as moving as Twisty’s account portrays. Twisty, thanks for the good wishes, and much love to Rob, Lara and Stef!