The lovely and creative Audrey sent me a link to a rather snarky article about wedding ring tattoos that appeared in yesterday’s NY Times. While my thoughts on tattoos tend to shift with the year, I’ve always rather liked wedding “rings” made of ink. I’d never actually get one because I am a wuss about needles, but I say more power to those who have the pain tolerance for it.
Photo by Leigh Miller Photography
The author of the article seems to disagree, even though he himself sports a wedding ring tat. When he made the decision to get it, it seems he thought he was being somewhat of a maverick. Only later did he discover that his brothers and sisters in nuptial ink include Kathy Griffin, Ashlee Simpson, Jenna Jameson, Howard Stern, Pamela Anderson, and quite recently, Bristol Palin’s intended, the self-proclaimed redneck Levi Johnston.
Squinting at a cover of People magazine, I was pretty sure I read “Linda” on Hulk Hogan’s finger. The article, which didn’t mention it, was about his divorce.
Last year, Téa Leoni and David Duchovny had theirs done for their 10th anniversary. I admire their acting. He just entered rehab for sex addiction.
I’m not really sure what the author is saying here…that precedent proves nuptial ink isn’t as strong as a traditional gold band? That all people who marry are doomed, anyway, so thank goodness for laser tattoo removal? That he feels dumb for getting his tattoo? Hey, I’m all for snark, when it actually takes us somewhere, but this article is all complaint and no substance.
In the end, the rings matter only as much as they actually matter to *you*. Some people can’t wear rings because of weird allergies or bad eczema. An uncle of mine can’t wear a ring because of his profession. Then there are the brides and grooms who just plain don’t like rings. And there are those of us who fear the tattooist’s needle. If you fall into one of these categories and find yourself taking flack from friends or relatives for choosing the ringless option, remind them that it’s the marriage that’s important, not the accessories.
I think the thing we got the most static about in planning our wedding was the fact that Mr. Twistie didn’t want a wedding ring at all, and I just said that was okay. I couldn’t believe the number of people who informed me that I shouldn’t have asked his opinion beyond what sort of ring he wanted.
As far as I was concerned, the intent and the words were what mattered most. I love my rings. Then again, I wear a lot of rings and love decking myself out in jewelry. Mr. Twistie doesn’t like to wear any jewelry (other than the Liverpool FC pin he wears on his hat, not because he likes footie, but because he has a soft spot in his heart for Liverpool as the birthplace of The Beatles). He also works with electricity a lot. A ring could be actively dangerous for him.
Neither one of us can deal with needles, so tattoos weren’t an option for us. But I say personal adornment is just that: a very personal decision. gold rings, silver rings, platinum or titanium rings, tattoo rings, or no rings at all, I still feel it’s the intent behind the act of marrying that’s most important. If that’s sincere, then what does it matter how you choose to symbolize it (or not) publicly? If it isn’t sincere, then whatever symbol you choose is just as hollow as the marriage, anyway.
Just because one person regrets his decision, apparently because celebrities he isn’t wild about made the same choice, well, I don’t see why his fear of being part of a trend should influence my personal preferences. I may have absolutely zero use for Howard Stern, but I wouldn’t let the fact that he has a tattoo ring change my mind if I wanted one.
Good call on Mr. Twistie going ringless if he works with electricity. The uncle I mentioned? He actually managed to fry multiple servers at work and burn his fingers twice before he finally gave up trying to wear a wedding ring. I’m not sure, but I think his employer may have had something to say about the subject!
There are plenty of folks who are in Mr. Twistie’s position, for whom it would be plain dangerous to wear jewelry – getting caught in machinery, getting the wearer caught in machinery – that it rather overrides the purpose of the ring. My recollection of the phrase is not, “With this ring I thee endanger.”
And, once again, we take a tour through the wonderful land of Just How Is This Your Business, Anyway? – and we marvel at the denizens as they accost people in marriages not their own, providing profuse, if unwanted, advice to the actual participants therein. Religious reasons, professional reasons, safety reasons, health reasons, discomfort reasons, plain old personal preference – really, what does it matter to anyone else except the two people getting married? I’m just astonished at how the choices of two people suddenly become a free-for-all. If it was just a matter of nice, easygoing conversations about “Look how different people have different customs! Isn’t that interesting?” – okay, I’m as curious as the next person, and maybe more so; you don’t become an actor or a re-enactor without being interested in different customs; unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the spirit in which most of these conversations are conducted. They seem to be a little closer to the investigations of the Spanish Inquisition, and its search for heretics, and I’m all for reminding other folks that it’s not their concern.
I’ve heard it said, La BellaDonna, that when weddings or pregnancy are involved, people feel they suddenly have license to pass judgment on other people’s private lives. Make choices that fall outside some narrowly-defined norm and the comments are sure to follow, whether it’s not serving alcohol, not wearing a wedding dress, or not wearing rings.
Sadly one of the biggest arguments for me against ring tattoos is that /they just don’t last/. Hands take a lot of abuse and the skin is sloughed off much faster then most other places on the body so they wear off in parts within a couple of years, and they look mighty bizarre while its happening.
I’m no stranger to the tattoo needle, but I’d much rather express my devotion by wearing a ring on a necklace, a nightstand, (or just in my heart!), then by always looking like I just took off a cheap costume jewelry ring.
I was not aware of that, sterlingspider…so I guess I should scrap my full palm tattoo idea?
cynics be damned. youll be glad to know anea and guy just welcomed to the world an 11 lb baby girl. you can see aneas almost about to pop belly here – http://www.leighmillerphotography.com/blog/2008/07/15/leaving-again/ and thanks for the photo credit. this is still one of my favorite weddings. have a great day – leigh
Aw, my congrats to them both!